The Philly drag show on ice that made Rand Paul’s ‘government waste’ list is back this weekend

Even before a single drag queen donned an ice skate, the Bearded Ladies’ new Beards on Ice! show unintentionally made national headlines. Senator Rand Paul (R., Ky.) included the show in his annual December shortlist lamenting “government waste,” prompting conservative news outlets across the country to decry federal funding for Philly’s ice-skating drag queens.

It was a bizarre moment for the Philly cabaret, but the show must go on.

“I think once they’ve taken our sense of humor, we lose,” said John Jarboe, the group’s founder and artistic director.

Beards on Ice!, a gleeful, irreverent morality play about how humans have fueled climate catastrophe, premiered last Saturday and continues this weekend. The show features a sinister trio of skating fossil fuels, a melting glacier host named Ms. Diane Slowly, and a Nonbinary Guardian Nature — the genderqueer version of Mother Nature — crooning “thank u, next” to Earth’s extinct species. The hourlong production takes place entirely on ice.

A content warning advises audiences to prepare for certain triggers: “suggestive language, themes of climate anxiety and existential dread, drag queens on ice skates.” (There are afternoon shows specifically for kids).

The story of putting on the show, replete with ice choreography and handmade costumes, is perhaps just as much about the dearth of arts funding as it is about climate change. In 2023, after mounting a “draft” of the show, the Bearded Ladies received a $10,000 grant from the National Endowment for the Arts to develop it. That money, distributed via reimbursement, has not yet reached the group and Jarboe said it was unclear if it will.

Ice time is expensive, and the performers partly rehearsed the show during free skate time at public rinks, bewildering onlookers in their potato and glacier costumes. With a budget upwards of $150,000, the show has received grants from other area nonprofits, and $7,500 from PECO, the electric and gas utility that has been criticized by climate justice groups for failing to purchase significantly more renewable energy.

Jarboe sometimes calls out PECO directly in the show, in a segment about corporations taking credit while avoiding real action on climate. After the show, audience members are encouraged to sign up with environmental groups like Physicians for Social Responsibility Pennsylvania who table in the lobby; some of the climate actions they sign up for will be directed at PECO changing their policies, Jarboe said.

PECO said the grant supported the Bearded Ladies’ efforts to market its show to families, and was selected by a panel of people who work in the arts.

“I would love it if they would try to greenwash more actively, and give us a ton of funding,” Jarboe joked. “We’re very grateful for it.” (In one of many jokes about the daunting nature of tackling climate change in the show, Jarboe’s character earnestly asks, “Wait, are you saying the politics of my climate change ice show are reductive, and, to use an ice metaphor, thin?”)

Facing anti-queer and anti-trans hostility, the Bearded Ladies have increased security at all their shows. In partnership with the Parks and Recreation department, last weekend’s shows took place at Tarken Ice Rink in the Northeast, and this weekend’s shows will be at the Laura Sims Skate House in Cobbs Creek.

While some of the performers were new to “strapping knives” to their feet, as they described ice skates in the show, others were serious skaters leaning into absurdity. Michael Solonoski, a former international figure skating competitor, glided gracefully across the rink in a rented polar bear suit that was made using recycled materials. The plastic bags and scraps of fabric sparkled in the light.

Jarboe, who played ice hockey for 11 years as a child, skated in a neon pink camo-print onesie with ruffled pink chiffon bottoms. The look was inspired by “little baby pop stars,” said costumer designer Rebecca Kanach.

“The more ridiculous the better, in this environment,” she said.

Jarboe’s stunt double in the Tarken Ice Rink show was portrayed by Jake Smith, an 18-year-old senior at Strath Haven High School who has been skating for over a decade. Both Jarboe and Smith wore neon multicolored bows on their heads.

“This is my first drag or professional show,” Smith said delightedly afterwards. The drag queens had taught him how to do his makeup, which included applying shimmering blue eyeshadow and rosy pink circles on his cheeks. A jar of cold cream in hand, Smith ticked off the tricks he did in the show.

“I did a double loop, which was kind of hard with the bow, because the bow catches air,” he said.

Later he added, “I could see myself doing this in the future.”

“Beards on Ice!,” produced by the Bearded Ladies Cabaret in partnership with the Philadelphia Parks and Recreation Department, runs this weekend, March 22-23, 2025 at the Laura Sims Skate House, 210 Cobbs Creek Pkwy, Philadelphia, PA 19139. Family-friendly performance at 4:30 PM on the 23rd, PG-13 performances both nights at 8 PM. Tickets here.