PennDot’s rejected vanity license plate list is a window into Pennsylvanians’ minds

Each year, PennDot receives about 20,000 personalized license plate applications so people can show off their regional pride (GO BIRDS), express their love (NO1 NANA), and dispense advice to other drivers (PASS ME).

But there are some Pennsylvania motorists whose vanity plate requests are fueled by more devious purposes, like potty humor, cunning word play, and cursing. These drivers either didn’t read the 16 reasons a personalized plate can be rejected, or, like stop signs, they ignored them.

The staff at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles reviews each plate request to make sure offensive phrases don’t get through and kids don’t learn swear words by reading them on the back of cars. Instead, they’ll learn as generations before have, by hearing their parents shout at potholes and other drivers.

To make sure vanity plates don’t cross the line, PennDot staffers check them against an internet acronym dictionary, a slang/euphemism dictionary, translations from foreign languages, and upside down and reverse readings of requested configurations, PennDot spokesperson Brandon Glorioso said via email.

And yes, they’re on to you using 5 as “S,” 4 as “A,” and 8 as “B.” They typed words into calculators in elementary school too and saw “8008″ coming a mile away.

Currently, PennDot has rejected 2,872 vanity plates in its history. I spent hours poring over the list, checking rejected plates against the Urban Dictionary, Googling them, and saying them out loud and then backward (”Oh that’s why ‘SINEP’ is on this list!”).

I learned a lot, including swear words in Spanish, Arabic, French, Italian, Fijian, Mandarin, Swedish, and Polish; new phrases like “AFFHOL,” (an affluent not nice person); and new acronyms like “RTFM 1ST” (read the [expletive] manual first).

I realized there are at least 33 ways to say “0FOXGVN” in seven characters or less, and I recognized how much people wanted to display their disdain for the first year of this decade with submissions like “2020SUX,” “WTF 2020,” and “20WTF20.”

Some of the requests were clever and some were crude, but every one was an insight into a Pennsylvanian’s mind and how they want express themselves in seven characters or less.

First, let’s take a look at some of the local sports fans who stepped up to the vanity plate, swung, and missed with requests like LFG PHLS (Let’s [expletive] go Phils); SB52WFC (Super Bowl LII world [expletive] champions), and F DA11AS ([expletive] Dallas).

Among the most frequently-rejected plate configurations were those that ended in “AF,” a slang abbreviation standing for “as [expletive]” that’s used as an intensifier for just about anything.

Locally, people wished to express they were “GRITTYAF,” “JRZY AF,” and, of course, “DELCO AF.”

One Delaware County motorist also requested a plate that read “DELCO OG,” for “Delco original gangster,” which I assume was denied because PennDot’s rules state plates can’t refer to organized crime or gang terminology.

I’m pretty certain that whoever submitted the request is not actually some old Delco gangster named Johnny “Two Hoagies” Casino but more likely, an 18-year-old who’s driving his parents’ Honda Accord.

Think of a dirty word — from the seven George Carlin ranted about not being able to say on TV to 70 beyond that — and it’s on this list, in every possible spelling and conjugation. But the real standouts were the ones who tried to cloak their references.

There was “AS SOUL,” “ACE HOLE,” and “ASSA9,” as well as “3RDFGER,” “RICKHED,” and “ABCDEFU.”

PennDot doesn’t take kindly to tangential swear words either, like the Irish euphemism “FECKIT” and the popular Pittsburgh word “JAGOFF.”

There’s a surprisingly large number of requests regarding excretory functions like “GOT2PEE” and “HAV2POO.” I can only assume people intended to point to these license plates as an explanation if they got pulled over for speeding. Others, though, seem to indicate advice, like “PB4WEGO” and even pride, such as “IP FAR.”

A few Pennsylvanians tried to promote themselves to positions of authority with license plate requests like “JUDGE,” “US GOV,” “GOV-PA,” and the lesser-known British, “GOVNA” (though that last one may also be a euphemism for excrement in Serbian).

Even more troubling are the folks who requested PSP (Pennsylvania State Police) license plates, of which four variations were rejected, and the Pennsylvania residents who inexplicably wanted NYPD (New York Police Department) plates, which were denied too.

To the driver who asked for “PennDot,” nice try, but you knew there would be roadblocks, though I do think the agency should have let “H8PA RDS” through.

Some motorists really tried to tempt fate with their requests like “STOLEIT,” “BNK ROBR,” “DRUG DLR,” “ELCHAPO,” “MOB BOSS,” and “HGIH MI” (”I’m high,” backward).

And I’ve got questions about the folks who requested “CAT EATR,” “UNIBOOB,” “BAT SCAT,” and “H8 KIDS” (I’m sure kids feel the same way about you too, buddy).

Of course, there was also potty humor. I can’t for the life of me figure out why someone would want “GOT POOP,” “SHARTED,” “PASNGAS,” or “TURD” displayed on their car (though I have to give credit to the driver who requested the more cosmopolitan, “LE TURD”).

Several of the rejected plate requests left me baffled, like “CAMRY,” “CHOWDAH,” and “GANDALF.” Has the wizard from The Lord of the Rings become a euphemism I’m not aware of? Is the colloquial Boston pronunciation of chowder forbidden in the Keystone State? Only PennDot knows.

The agency also rejected requests that are seemingly based on classic works that have stood the test of time like Herman Melville’s “MBY D1CK” and the Beach Boys’ “KOK0MO,” as well as popular bands and musicians like “MF DOOM,” “STYX1,” “SZA,” “DEADNCO,” and “NOFX” (though, to be fair, there were at least 12 variations of NOFXGVN that were rejected as well).

One person, who’s probably an RV owner, even managed to quote an iconic scene from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation in just seven characters with “SHTRS-FL.”

As mentioned, among the most rejected plates on the list were those that had the intensifier AF at the end. Turns out, Pennsylvanians are “AF” with a lot of things, including, but not limited to: AUDI, BACON, BASIC, BOUJE, BROKE, CHILL, CLEAN, COOL, CRE8V, DRUNK, EXTRA, FANCY, FAST, HAM, LOST, LOUD, L8, MAGIC, MJSTC, MOM, OLD, PETTY, PUNK, RALLY, SALTY, SEXY, SICK, SLICK, SLOW, SOBER, STOCK, and VEGAN.