‘Constipated offense’: Kellen Moore’s Eagles scheme — or is it Nick Sirianni’s — still looks listless

Leave it to Lane Johnson to cut through the crap, so to speak.

“We’re a constipated offense,” the Eagles right tackle said. “That’s what it [bleeping] feels like.”

Johnson wasn’t alone in his sentiment as evidenced by the lukewarm response fans gave the Eagles throughout Sunday afternoon, even as they put the finishing touches on a 20-16 win over the Browns at Lincoln Financial Field.

Philadelphia’s faithful are a demanding lot. But they know bad football when they see it, and when the offense went three-and-out on yet another opening drive — despite an extra week to finally get the starting script right — boos rained down on the Eagles on an otherwise clear day.

It wasn’t just the first possession that lacked imagination and execution. The Eagles remained scoreless in the first quarter for the season and when they did manage a first down, they had to scratch and claw to get there.

It took all of three questions after the game for Nick Sirianni to be asked about yet another slow start.

“You guys keep talking about it. Defense started fast as s---, right?” Sirianni said.

But Sirianni, who apologized to his children he had brought up to the podium for his postgame news conference, didn’t have to wait overnight to know how his squad’s performance would be viewed by locals.

» READ MORE: Eagles grades: Coaching gets a mixed review, but the defense held up in a win against the Browns

He heard the jeers. In fact, he seemed to be pointedly taunting some fans behind the team’s bench as the Eagles closed out Cleveland. But he also had met with his equally exacting boss after the game, and while Jeffrey Lurie understands as well as anyone how tough it is to win in the NFL, he also knows an underachieving outfit when he sees it.

“It’s damn hard to win in this league,” Sirianni said. “What we’ll do is we’ll stay hungry, we’ll stay humble, and we’ll look at the things we messed up and we’ve got to fix. Did we play like a championship-level team today? No, not by any means. We had mistakes that, first and foremost, always are going to be on me.”

Sirianni’s public responses to his team, his offense, and quarterback Jalen Hurts’ struggles aren’t what matter most, ultimately. He almost seems to relish being the villain, although having his two young sons and daughter sit through a cringe-worthy 15 minutes suggests he brought them up there as potential shields.

Either way, it’s how Sirianni handles his players and coaches behind closed doors, and by most indications, he wields a heavy hammer. But something is getting lost in translation, otherwise the Eagles wouldn’t be making the same mistakes week after week — dating all the way back to last season’s slide.

Vic Fangio’s defense held the Browns offense to just nine points, but it’s difficult to put much weight on stopping arguably the worst quarterback in the NFL playing behind an offensive line that has been snakebitten by injuries and was down to its third-string center after Nick Harris left in the first quarter.

And what happened to Michael Clay’s special teams? For the third straight game, one of his units allowed a momentum-changing play when Jake Elliott’s 57-yard field-goal attempt was blocked and returned for a touchdown before the half.

» READ MORE: Nick Sirianni tried to deflect criticism after the Eagles’ ugly win. It was nothing but a cynical ploy.

Myles Garrett, who hurdled the line and blocked the kick, is a freak, and Rodney McLeod, who had the 50-yard return, is a savvy veteran. But how much credit can be given to a 1-5 Cleveland team hanging on the edge?

Jim Schwartz’s Browns defense has elite talent, starting with Garrett. But the former Eagles defensive coordinator was down to his fourth safety and was without another former Birds player — linebacker Jordan Hicks.

The return of A.J. Brown and DeVonta Smith along with Johnson was supposed to inject energy into the offense, and in some ways it did. The Eagles got explosive plays out of the two receivers. And Johnson helped keep Garrett, who didn’t have a sack, in check.

But the offense hardly ever looked in rhythm. Hurts drove the Eagles into the red zone just once.

“We’re definitely leaving points out there,” Smith said. “Or you can complain about winning when you can play the way we played, and win, and kind of feel good about yourself knowing that you can get a whole lot better.”

A year ago, Smith was among the leaders who expressed repeated frustration even as the Eagles opened 10-1. A playoff-clinching victory over the New York Giants in late December wasn’t enough to keep Brown in the locker room as he skipped interviews out of frustration.

Both were among the players who downplayed Sunday’s sketchy performance.

“You have to learn how to be grateful,” Smith said.

Is that maturity or an understanding that the season is only five games old? The Eagles have time to find their identity.

“Two years ago, we were a very explosive team, a team that took a lot of shots down the field and made a lot of explosive plays,” Smith said. “And I think that’s the humbling thing about it is, we know teams are not going to give us those looks to go out there and just chuck the ball down the field.

“So we have to be patient.”

There were some positives beyond Brown, who caught six passes for 116 yards and a touchdown, and Smith, who caught three for 64 yards, including the go-ahead 45-yard score in the fourth quarter.

Hurts committed no turnovers for the first time this season. Backup tight end Grant Calcaterra (four catches for 67 yards) stepped up when starter Dallas Goedert left with a hamstring injury. Third receiver Jahan Dotson had more than one touch(!).

But the Kellen Moore offense hasn’t looked like a Kellen Moore offense. There was some of his pre-snap and at-the-snap motion, but the rushing offense struggled to get going as Saquon Barkley was held to just 47 yards on 18 carries and Hurts relied too much on deep shots.

There’s also the question of how much Sirianni is still involved in the offense. It’s his team, and his taking blame for blown calls is admirable, but it can make the entire operation look Mickey Mouse.

“I’ll say this: I made the call on third-and-1,” Sirianni said of the late first-half play that resulted in Hurts getting sacked. “Nobody else but me. You know, like I said to you, I did that on defense one time as well. I made a call on defense. It didn’t work out, just so you know. I’ll put that out there. That wasn’t on Vic.”

As for the Hurts-to-Brown 40-yard “kill shot” that effectively iced the game, Sirianni said it was the quarterback and receiver improvising at the line. That got the pair in trouble in the loss to the Seahawks last season. This time, as Hurts said, “It worked.”

“If you don’t have no [courage] in this game,” Smith said, “maybe you shouldn’t be here.”

But it spoke to an offense that can seem unhinged, sort of how Sirianni acted during his news conference. There are plenty of stable players on that side of the ball. Johnson, who spoke before Sirianni, seemed more in tune to how it all looked.

“Yeah, we’re definitely frustrated,” Johnson said. “We have a lot of ability, lot of talent, and we’re making games maybe more competitive than what they need to be. That’s something we’ve got to fix. As far as talent-wise, it’s one of the more loaded offenses I’ve been a part of. But we still have to go prove it.”

The Eagles have time to make a breakthrough.