Connect and trust: For Nick Sirianni, his Eagles coaching journey and fatherhood align

Nick Sirianni was yelling at his son from the stands. The timbre of his voice contained a familiar blend of excitement, exasperation, and exhortation for anyone who has been at the receiving end of one of the Eagles coach’s high-pitched appeals.

Jacob, get up!

The younger Sirianni had just ripped a clean single into the outfield, and after a series of Little League mishaps, the 7-year-old reached second base and needlessly slid. Nearly everyone on the Haddonfield side cheered as two runs scored to extend its lead, 11-8, in the top of the fourth inning.

But the elder Sirianni was fixated on his son, who remained parked in the dirt halfway to home as the opposing team continued to fumble the ball about the diamond. He spoke under his breath, perhaps to his wife, Brett, seated to his left, or to no one in particular.

What’s he doing? It cost us a run.

It was a brief moment of uncertainty amid a torrent of positivity from Sirianni at a coach-pitch tournament in Gloucester City. With the NFL on hiatus for a month, the 41-year-old father of three was otherwise basking in the freedom of watching his eldest son’s doubleheader on a Saturday afternoon in June.

The day before, when practice was rained out, Sirianni brought the team over to the NovaCare Complex in South Philadelphia to work out indoors. Afterward, he said he took the players into the locker room. Sirianni may not be his son’s baseball coach, but being the coach of the local NFL team has its rewards.

“I’ve gotten to my share of games,” Sirianni said. “I told my wife, ‘I finally have a hobby.’”

His job typically doesn’t allow for many pastimes in-season, even those involving his children. But as Sirianni embarks on his second season, which begins in essence with the start of training camp next week, his passion at his son’s game suggested that there isn’t much of a line between father and coach.

Sirianni is, if anything, authentic. He unabashedly displays his emotions. But just as he strives to strike a balance between his work and home life, where there is often crossover, he said that steadying his temperament was one of the areas in which he had improved most as a first-time head coach.

“I think just getting better emotionally, as far as not riding the ups and downs of the season,” Sirianni said earlier in June. “And I think not looking too far ahead into the season and just focusing day to day, because I think it’s easy to get into that mode.”

» READ MORE: The Eagles’ Miles Sanders is steeling himself for the season with training in the Steel City

And it is easy for others, most important his players, to follow him if he rides that roller coaster. Sirianni had a rough introduction to Philly. The virtual unknown struggled during his introductory news conference, but it was more the Eagles’ 2-5 start last season that brought out the local knives.

Many ridiculed his October laying-the-roots-for-future-success anecdote, which compelled one audacious fan to throw a bouquet of flowers at Sirianni following a close home loss to the Chargers a few weeks later.

Two weeks earlier, the coach merely stepped over an Eagles jersey that had been tossed his way in the aftermath of a blowout defeat in Las Vegas. This time, however, Sirianni stopped, glared into the section at Lincoln Financial Field, and momentarily resisted before security chief Dom DiSandro guided him into the tunnel.

What that fan and others had failed to recognize was that Sirianni’s methods had taken hold. There were notable changes on the field, but the Eagles didn’t turn their season around and reach the playoffs without the players’ belief in their coach.

Can Sirianni improve upon a solid opening salvo? The roster was upgraded this offseason. The schedule is, on the surface, easier. Questions remain about quarterback Jalen Hurts’ long-term viability, as well as the offensive-minded coach’s ability to remain a step ahead of opposing defensive coordinators.

But Sirianni’s connectivity with nearly everyone he comes in contact with, most of all his players, should help mitigate difficult patches.

“I think I’ve always been good at that,” Sirianni said. “I hate saying it that way. But I always think that’s been one of my strengths. I feel like I realize that as a coordinator, not everybody needed to be talked to by me. But as a head coach, I’m realizing more and more that everybody needs my attention.”

» READ MORE: 2022 Eagles schedule: Beat writers analyze the season game-by-game and make predictions

Sirianni comes from a family of coaches, from his father to his brothers. He has had mentors from his playing days through his years as an assistant. But he is constantly educating himself by listening to and observing others in various arenas, from his budding friendship with former Villanova basketball coach Jay Wright to even his son’s Little League coaches.

There are many lessons, both in what to and not to emulate, but Sirianni is always focused on how coaches comport themselves and how their players respond. He can run hot himself, especially when dealing with officials, so he has worked to separate those emotions from how he relates to his team. Sirianni mentioned that tight end Dallas Goedert tended to catch his flame when there was a dispute.

But that doesn’t mean there won’t be fluctuations.

“I’m not saying I’m going to be perfect at this,” Sirianni said, “but this is probably going to be a thing that’s going to take some time for me to knock out of my system.”

As with players and coaches, children often take on the characteristics of their parents. Sirianni is a young father. Aside from Jacob, there is daughter Taylor, age 5, and son Miles, 2.

The younger ones stayed back with a baby sitter during Jacob’s doubleheader in mid-June.

Sirianni invited The Inquirer along for his son’s early-round games at Johnson Park. The coach was easily recognizable in a 76ers zip-up perched against a fence as Jacob and his teammates warmed up.

While other parents were watching their sons or were engaged in conversations, Sirianni was fixated on the opposing team’s pregame ritual.

“Because our coaches are so organized, I can always tell if we’re going to win by how the other team prepares,” Sirianni said. “I think we got this one.”

Sirianni played baseball only through eighth grade. The Jamestown, N.Y., native grew up a Pirates fan, with Andy Van Slyke his favorite player. His father, Fran, once took his three sons to Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh and after the game allowed them to wait for the outfielder’s autograph.

But Van Slyke walked by the boys without stopping.

Sirianni recounted the story when asked — after he agreed to countless selfie and autograph requests before, during, and after his son’s game — why his answer is often yes. There was also the implied: Someone is always watching.

Sirianni has always tried to carry himself under that premise, but there is more at stake when you’re the head guy. He likes to tell another anecdote about his fear when he first started air travel in college and how a flight attendant’s demeanor — unwavering or unsettled — would often dictate his mindset during turbulence.

In February, Wright had Sirianni and his family courtside at a Villanova home game against Georgetown. The Eagles coach said he spent much of the contest observing the Hall of Fame basketball coach. One Wright moment stood out.

“He was visibly upset with the referees. And then you could kind of see that his players were starting to look to him and ... he calmed down,” Sirianni said. “He looked at them — I distinctly remember one of his players looking at him, and he was like, ‘Hey,’ [claps hands] and he made his coaching point to his players.

“And he was still [ticked off], I could tell. And then the player stopped what he was doing with the ref, and then continued on with the play. And I was like, ‘What a great example for me.’”

Wright, who grew up in Bucks County, is a longtime Eagles fan, which he joked made him naturally inclined to like every Eagles coach he has met. But since general manager Howie Roseman first introduced him to Sirianni during a breakfast at the NovaCare Complex more than a year ago, the two have hit it off.

Sirianni is a passionate hoops fan. Michigan has long been his favorite college program. But the shared kinship of their profession, and their similar dispositions, has led to postgame and over-dinner sharing of information in relation to coaching decisions.

“When you’re early in your career, and I know for me and I think he’s the same, your passion and your energy is really impactful to the team,” Wright said. “And you can’t have all that passion and all that energy and be totally under control also. Dick Vermeil was like that, right?

“But as long as you’re truthful and honest about it with the guys, they’re going to respect it. And you’re working on it. The good thing with him, when I’m down there, there’s no doubt who’s in charge.”

Sirianni was just another dad watching his son play baseball last month. He turned his phone sideways and started videoing when the lefty-hitting Jacob stepped into the box — batting leadoff — and reached on an infield grounder to open the game.

When his wife arrived, Sirianni updated her on their son’s first at-bat and explained why he thought he should have scored after the No. 2 hitter drove a ball past the shortstop. He was just as vociferous when others had their turns at the plate or made outs in the field. Even though the tourney team had just been assembled, Sirianni already knew most by name.

Come on, Noah!

It may sound pollyannaish to some, but Sirianni is a walking advertisement for the connect part of his five core principles — compete, accountability, football IQ, and fundamentals are the others — in almost all of his interactions.

But he understands, as a former player himself, that his charges need his attention more than most. He recalled the time he held the door for and greeted his Mount Union College coach, Larry Kehres, and how not receiving a reply affected him.

“He was in the middle of a conversation and I was like, ‘What’s up, Coach?’” Sirianni said. “And he didn’t say anything to me. And for two days I was like, ‘Am I going to start next week? Am I the starter next week?’ And I knew him more than anybody.”

Even stars need pats on the back. But while Hurts and other starters get the majority of attention, Sirianni said that he has used the pre-practice stretch period, for instance, as an opportunity to have meaningful conversations with all corners of the roster.

The same thinking could be applied to parenting. Sirianni said he’s able to carve out a relatively consistent home presence in-season. But there are only so many hours in a day for perfectionist coaches.

“When we’re with the wives at dinner, we definitely talk about it,” Wright said. “We’re all a little crazy. As much as we try, we don’t have a good work-life balance in terms of time. We’ve all got to do it in terms of value. … Some of it our wives are laughing about, and some of it them aren’t.”

The NFL offseason does allow for Sirianni to attend more family events and engage in more casual activities like having a catch in the backyard or tossing the football around or shooting hoops.

He said he tries not to push Jacob in sports and that his wife, a former all-Missouri high school soccer player, acts as a filter if he gets too stringent. Recently, Sirianni said when his son questioned his advice, he countered, “You know, this is my job.”

Jacob wasn’t impressed.

“Not baseball,” he responded, according to his father.

Sirianni’s own father, a track and football coach, would offer a stern word from primarily the basketball bleachers when needed, his son said. But it was more often his older brothers, Mike and Jay, who would criticize him after games.

Sirianni recalled the time he was held to just one catch in a high school playoff game. The opposing cornerback was in his face all night and after one play, the receiver gave him an attaboy slap on the rear. Jay scolded his brother for the pat and gave his honest assessment during their after-game meal.

“He said, ‘You [stunk],’” Sirianni said.

Not long after the recollection, Jacob was playing second base and Sirianni noticed that his glove hand was behind his back as the inning started.

Jacob, be ready!

Jacob hutted to attention. A sharp grounder got by him, but he caught a throw for the force at second. Sirianni said that after games he offers one positive observation for his son followed by one area to improve upon.

Wright, who stepped down as Villanova’s longtime, two-time national championship-winning coach in April, said he stopped giving sporting advice to his three children once they reached middle school. He said it was better to empower their coaches, and to focus on teaching them how to handle adversity and to support them when they fail.

At any level, there is a symbiotic relationship between coaching and parenting.

“Your players aren’t going to trust you unless they know you really care about them. Your kids know you love them. It’s kind of a given. But it makes you understand that you’ve got to work hard to make sure your players know you love them,” Wright said. “In the same sense, sometimes you’re more patient with your players and that lets you remember that when you’re dealing with your own kids.

“Both jobs help one another.”

Haddonfield won the first game going away, 17-9, and would eventually reach the championship. Jacob hit an inside-the-park homer to open the title game, suggesting that he heeded his father’s from-the-stands instruction.

But on that June day, in between games, the 7-year old just wanted his dad to buy him Sour Patch Kids candy, and to take a brief break from baseball.

“Can I play on the playground?” Jacob asked his father.

Afterwards, they had a catch.