Is the fix in for the Eagles? A stacked 2024 draft class makes you wonder about an NFL in the tank

I’m too much of a misanthrope to believe in conspiracy theories. Pulling a fast one usually requires some degree of competency. Have you ever watched TikTok?

Earlier this week a man in Florida tried to run across the Atlantic Ocean on a homemade hamster wheel that used inflatable basketballs as flotation devices. He made it farther than he did the last time, when he tried to run on water to New York City but ended up 30 miles south of his starting point. But he never made it to London. The first rule of running in a hamster wheel across the ocean: You have to run faster than the Coast Guard.

Fact is, we live in a world that has to count the number of days since the last time somebody died while staging a gender reveal video. The logical flaw with most conspiracy theories is that you’d never find multiple human beings clever enough to execute them. Next time somebody suggests a scheme that requires anything more than a basic level of coordination, invite them to sit in on one of your company’s Zoom meetings.

*Unless you work for The Inquirer, where the Zoom meetings are always productive and flawlessly run.

Thing is, conspiracy theories are fun. Plus, they can help you amass a considerable social media following and position you for a presidential run. I guess I might as well share mine.

I call it the Stealth Tank. It involves close to half of the NFL, and it’s why the Eagles have little to fear in this year’s NFC.

The theory goes like this. While doing their due diligence over the last couple of years, NFL teams have gradually come to the realization that the 2024 draft class will dwarf all of those around it. With multiple premium prospects at the sport’s most premium positions and a few who could rank among the top two or three in recent history, several NFL GMs and their bosses in ownership suspect that their odds of landing a franchise-changer will be higher this April than they ever have been or will be again. They aren’t explicitly rooting for the wheels to fall off. But they’ve intentionally left a few hex nuts loose.

We’ll start naming names in a moment. The den of thieves is much thicker than the Cardinals. But first, let’s look at the incentives.

It starts at quarterback, where Caleb Williams enters his junior season trailing only Andrew Luck and Trevor Lawrence as the best quarterback prospects since Peyton Manning. These are the rarest of the rare, a different level than even Joe Burrow, who only exploded in his senior season and had attempted only 39 passes in his first three years out of high school. Williams has been on NFL radars since 2021, when he was the No. 6 recruit at any position in the nation. He’s not Lawrence or Luck. But he’s much closer to “can’t miss” than anybody else who has been drafted in the last decade.

As good as Williams is, even an elite quarterback wouldn’t ordinarily warrant a full-scale tanking onslaught. After all, only one team can draft him. The NFL is fluky enough to scuttle even the stankest of tanks (see the Jets in 2020). That’s where the 2024 class really separates itself.

» READ MORE: On Howie Roseman, Nick Sirianni, and an Eagles roster that has lapped the competition

This year, anybody who misses out on Williams will still have a chance at a number players who are potential franchise-changers. North Carolina quarterback Drake Maye is a surer thing than any of the quarterbacks selected in the last two drafts. Georgia tight end Brock Bowers might be the best prospect ever at the position, a two-way game-wrecker who could have Gronk-Kittle level impact early in his career.

After those three, you have a couple of potential plug-and-play anchors at tackle in Notre Dame’s Joe Alt and Penn State’s Olu Fashanu. Either could be the highest-drafted offensive lineman since the Chiefs took Eric Fisher No. 1 in 2013. The latest mock draft by Pro Football Focus has Fashanu going No. 3 and Alt going No. 4. They would join Andrew Thomas (No. 4 in 2020) and Greg Robinson (No. 2 in 2014) as the only linemen drafted in the top four in the last 10 drafts and the first pair to go in the top four since Fisher, Luke Joeckel (No. 2), and Lane Johnson (No. 4) in 2013.

That’s five players who are the rarest of the rare, the kind who aren’t guaranteed to be present in any one draft. They are outlier talents at the game’s scarcest position. Meanwhile, the best individual talent might be Ohio State’s Marvin Harrison Jr., a wide receiver with the skills and pedigree to be the best prospect at that position since A.J. Green or Julio Jones.

Factor in the presence of at least three other potential first-round quarterbacks — keep an eye on Duke’s Riley Leonard — plus a deep group of cornerbacks and 2024 offers plenty of incentive to ignore 2023.

Which brings us back to the Stealth Tank.

I’m not saying that the Falcons and Packers chose Desmond Ridder and Jordan Love at quarterback because they stink. I’m just saying that it could end up being convenient that they do, in fact, stink. I’m not saying the Raiders are rolling with a surgically repaired Jimmy Garoppolo because they think it will lead to them rolling with Brian Hoyer. I’m just saying it would be awfully convenient if it does lead to that. I’m not saying that Matthew Stafford is going to retire midseason. I’m just saying ... you get the picture.

From Sam Howell in Washington to Baker Mayfield in Tampa Bay to Justin Fields in Chicago, there are a whole bunch of teams that have set themselves up for a hard, quick pivot. No doubt, some of these teams are acting with the sincerest of intentions. Maybe even most of them. But I can’t help but think that there are others who’ve built something else into their rosters.

They might call it optionality. I’d call it plausible deniability.

At least, that’s the theory.

The Eagles visit the New England Patriots in the season opener. Join Eagles beat reporters Josh Tolentino, EJ Smith, and Olivia Reiner as they dissect the hottest story lines surrounding the team on Gameday Central, live from Foxborough.