A teenage father in North Philly is graduating high school with honors, ‘grateful for everything I come across’

Anything could have derailed Anthony Spady Jr.: the brief period he didn’t take school seriously, the perils that come with being a young Black man in North Philadelphia, becoming a father when he was a sophomore in high school.

To be sure, Spady has a lot on his plate — school, work, and taking care of his 20-month-old son have all made him grow up quickly.

But Spady is now within striking distance of early graduation, one of the top 10 ranked seniors in his class at Strawberry Mansion High School. He’s just earned citywide recognition for his accomplishments. And his face lights up when he interacts with Legend, the curious, happy toddler who’s rarely far from his father’s side, or his thoughts.

“I see so many crazy things every day — I don’t like seeing them, but it’s nothing but motivation. It gives me more of a mindset to go harder,” Spady said. “I want my son to realize that nothing determines you. You determine who you are.”

At 18, Spady is a leader who takes his education seriously. He’s gregarious and open, a walking motivational speaker, and looking for people to learn from.

But it wasn’t always that way. For a time, Spady “fell into being a little goofball” at school. He didn’t want to ask questions and felt on guard around people.

“I was uncomfortable, unconfident,” he said. “I didn’t want to be the stupid one in the classroom, so I fell back.”

Tumbling grades woke Spady up, and he regrouped as a strong student. He was nervous starting ninth grade at Mansion, the neighborhood school his mom and aunts attended. The school had a reputation, and not a strong one.

But Spady found something else entirely there.

“Mansion created so many opportunities for me,” he said. “You just have to correctly approach it.”

Mary Beth Henry met Spady early in his ninth-grade year when he attended a meeting in her classroom. The Mansion English teacher was astonished that a 14-year-old marched right into her room, sat down next to her, and started engaging her in conversation.

“I like to find the right role models, the right people to come to,” Spady said. “I know I’m here to make connections, and I try to become everyone’s friend.”

Henry went on to teach Spady in two separate classes over the years. Watching him shine is rewarding but not exactly a surprise, Henry said. He’s bright, but he also digs deep and works hard.

“He’s an example of when you put in the effort, good things happen,” Henry said. Spady is a big part of Mansion — a member of the school’s Knights Council, a student advisory panel, and its basketball team who also sits on the student board of a group that helps public schools positively shape their school culture. “He’s a great dad, but he seeks out opportunities to mentor other students, which you don’t always see in someone his age.”

Spady was 16 when he found out his girlfriend was pregnant.

“That was a wake-up call for me,” he said. “It was the most surreal thing, but I didn’t feel like I had to shy away from it. I could never shy away from getting ready for my child.”

In true Spady fashion, he asked a lot of questions of veteran parents, people he trusted, and Sabria Davis, his girlfriend — he wanted them to think about the kind of parents they were going to be to their son.

Legend Prince Spady watched his father bounce a basketball in the cavernous Strawberry Mansion gym.

The toddler is a carbon copy of the dad he followed around, both in looks and gestures: If Spady walked with heavy footsteps, Legend stomped, too. But now, Legend wanted to shoot his own basket, hefting the big ball in his tiny arms to indicate his wishes.

Legend didn’t even have to turn around to look at his dad. Spady put his hands on either side of his son and lifted him high into the air.

“I got you, son,” Spady said. “Shoot it, son. Shoot it, son. Believe in yourself!”

Spady gushes when he talks about his little boy, even as he wipes the toddler’s nose or gives him a bag of fruit snacks.

“He’s very observant in so many ways. He can read a room. I can have a conversation with someone, and he knows what’s going on,” Spady said of Legend.

Being Legend’s dad has made Spady more open and emotional, he said. But so has finding his voice as a writer, finding a way to get out emotions without being aggressive or frustrated, he said.

“I think real deep, and that’s for the good because I like to put myself in other people’s positions. My voice is the most powerful weapon that I have,” Spady said.

A monologue Spady wrote as a junior, “A River of Tears,” about witnessing Legend’s birth, won citywide recognition and was performed this fall by Temple University students as part of the Philadelphia Young Playwrights program. And he was recently named Senior of the Month by the Philadelphia School District, honored for his hard work, achievements, and promise.

Spady amassed enough credits to finish high school early; he’ll finish his coursework in January and return to walk in June’s graduation ceremony with his class, including Davis.

He’ll continue putting in long hours in his current job, setting up and breaking down parties and other events. He’s got his eye on college, but not right now — when the time comes, he might study writing, computer engineering, or business. His ultimate goal is to run some kind of business that will employ his family and others, and provide generational security for the people he loves.

“It is not for ‘Anthony did this, Anthony did that.’ It’s just that I see the outcomes of the people who were unemployed, who couldn’t make a way, and I want to make opportunities,” he said.

Many people count on him in his household, Spady said — he lives with his mom, sisters, Davis, and Legend — but he leans into that.

“It motivates me,” he said.

Spady is upbeat, but the realities of living in a city beset by gun violence and other ills are not lost on him.

How could they be?

On Monday night, gunshots were fired at Spady and a friend as they exited basketball practice. No bullet struck either young man — and no one was arrested — but it wasn’t the first time Spady had witnessed or narrowly avoided gun violence.

“Your wits and your smarts can’t save you in every situation,” Spady said. “Anything can happen at any time; I could have seen my son for the last time. We can’t ever normalize that.”

All he can do is move forward, Spady said, eyes firmly fixed on “making something out of nothing. I always had a bigger picture in the back of my head — doing something great. I know I can do something great. I have the mindset and the support system, so why don’t I go for it?”

And while the days are long, juggling working, parenting, and being a student, he wouldn’t change a thing, he said.

“I’m grateful for everything I come across,” Spady said. “My environment will not make a product out of me.”