Grandparents spoil and dote on their grandkids. During the pandemic, they help with school, too.
Some grandparents have been pressed into another role: caregiver to help out with school work and childcare while parents work.
Veteran educator Sara Lawall happily came out of retirement when the coronavirus disrupted schools. She has a single student who comes to her South Jersey home for remote learning: her granddaughter, Sofia, 7.
Lawall, a retired Camden teacher, has been helping out with virtual learning for Sofia, a second grader at the Jeffrey Clark School in East Greenwich Township, since last March. Sofia attends in-person classes two days a week and remote the remaining days from her grandmother’s home in Mickleton.
“I love it,” said Lawall. “It fills my day. I have something to do.”
Parents juggling demands during the pandemic have increasingly turned to grandparents for school and child-care assistance. Some grandparents have put their own lives on hold to fly across the country for extended visits to take on expanded roles as caregivers and teachers. Others who live nearby pick up grandchildren from school, give parents a respite for a day, or tend to children too young for school.
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With most public schools offering fully remote instruction or hybrid models with students learning from home several days a week, working mothers and fathers say their parents are filling a tremendous need when schools and day-care centers are closed. They can focus on their jobs, whether essential employees working in person or remotely from home.
Grandparents have long played a role in raising the next generation, beyond spoiling and doting on their grandchildren. Nearly 40% provide child-care help, according to a survey by AARP. Not all grandparents can do it because of health concerns. Some are quarantined from their families.
“Ain’t none of it easy,” said A. Dolores Rozier, of Camden, who is raising her grandson, Mah’Khi, 17, a senior at Charles Brimm Medical Arts High School. “You do what you have to do for your children and your grandchildren.”
Rozier, 78, a retired school secretary, said she lets her grandson handle his schoolwork with little supervision. She worries about what he has missed not being in school for nearly a year.
“You can’t interact with someone on the computer. It’s not the same,” Rozier said.
Spending more time together has made the two closer, although they occasionally butt heads, Mah’Khi said.
“I am trying to become a better person just for my grandmom,” he said.
The pandemic has helped foster family bonds, whether multiple generations living in one household or bubbled together to reduce the COVID risk, said Kenzo Sung, an urban education professor at Rowan University.
“Everybody is trying to help out,” said Sung. “A lot of grandparents and extended family are helping out to make life work.”
Grandparents said they and their families take extra precautions to protect themselves and also limit contact with outsiders.
Lawall, a third-grade teacher who retired in 2012, said before the pandemic she picked Sofia up after school and took her to soccer practice and gymnastic lessons. Now, on remote learning days, Lawall keeps track of Sophia’s class schedules and assignments. She offers help with directions or technical support when her Chromebook malfunctions.
“I feel valuable, like I have something to give,” said Lawall. “I can do my share.”
Sharon Whitaker, of Lawnside, looks forward to remote learning on Thursdays with her only grandchild, London, a first grader at Lansdowne Friends School. The 6-year-old, who lives in Philadelphia, every week goes to Whitaker’s home, where she logs in for virtual classes.
Whitaker, 67, a retired computer programmer and department-store salesperson, said she carved out time in her schedule for London to give the girl’s parents a break. She had a slight learning curve when remote learning began last year but quickly caught on to using Zoom and other classroom platforms.
“Everything was very new,” she said.
The biggest challenge, said Whitaker, is keeping London focused on learning; the school day begins at 8:30 a.m. She provides comfort to London, who gets melancholy when she sees her special friends on camera during class.
“You just pitch in where you have to,” said Whitaker. “We’re trying to make the best of what we can.”
Asked what she likes most about school visits with Nana, London replied: “Sweets and treats.”
For her son, Cord Whitaker, a medieval English literature professor at Wellesley College, and his wife, Lesley S. Curtis, who operates a strategic communications firm, his mother has been a big help. The couple typically schedule meetings and appointments on Thursdays when London is with her grandmother.
“We could not be anywhere near as productive without the help of our mother,” said Cord Whitaker.
Every other week, Judy Lazo, of Haddon Township, travels 250 miles to Dillsburg, Pa., near Harrisburg, where she spends a week supervising virtual learning for her grandson Blake, 5. The retired Camden first-grade teacher has been making the trek since June to help out his parents, both civil engineers who work from home.
“I can’t thank my Mom enough for what she does,” said her son, Carl Oberg, 35. “It’s a blessing.”
Lazo, 69, said she pulled out her old teaching tools and lessons to help Blake, a kindergartner. She also does activities with his brother, Levi, 2. Known as “Mor More,” a nod to their Swedish roots, she takes them on walks on the family’s sprawling property and prepares three meals daily. She drives home on Fridays, to rest for a week and spend time with her fiance. The family said things are rough when she is not there, but they manage.
“It’s just a labor of love,” Lazo said.
Lazo’s sister, Joan Trojan, of Haddonfield, also a retired Camden language arts teacher, is on her second visit to Tucson, Ariz. There she provides care for her granddaughter, Verna, 3, while the child’s mother, an herbalist, and her father, a musician, work.
Trojan, a widow, said she provides preschool activities, takes the youngster on science walks, and reads to her. She plans to come home in March and return to Arizona in May for about three weeks.
“I have lessons lined up that I can’t wait to do with her,” said Trojan. “I’m just enjoying it so much.”
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Whitaker will be happy to once again just be a grandparent to London.
“It will be nice to just go back to being ‘Nana’ when I can just spoil her and we can have fun,” Whitaker said with a smile.