The most obscure and bizzare local mascots

• Species: Human liver

• Age: 28

• Shoe size: 22.5 wide

• Hobbies: Community theater, hydroponic gardening, and yoga

O’Liver B. Hepatitis, a 6-foot-5 human liver with arms, legs, and a toothy grin, may be the mascot of Hannibal Lecter’s dreams, but he works for the Hepatitis B Foundation of Doylestown, raising awareness of the vaccine-preventable virus that causes liver cancer.

Born in Philly, O’Liver spent his early years noshing on cheesesteaks and hanging with his other mascot homies before attending mascot school, where he earned the nickname “Big Filter.”

Though O’Liver is a teetotaler (”I never touch the stuff”), he loves partying it up with Mummers and busting a move (you haven’t lived until you’ve seen a liver line dancing in LOVE Park).

When he’s not raising awareness of hep B, O’Liver can be found making clotting factors and filtering blood toxins.

“So that keeps me pretty busy,” he said.

• Species: Bison

• Height: 7 feet

• Mascot idol: The Phanatic

• Hobbies: Grazing and napping

Elmwood Park Zoo’s mascot, Bubby T. Bison (the T is short for The), has a backstory to rival that of Thor’s. The “selfish, rambunctious, and very messy” Bubby ticked off the other bison at the zoo, who kicked him out until he could learn to show some respect.

Bubby went out on his own, traveled the world, and returned to the zoo a changed bison — and that’s no bull. So extraordinary was his turnaround, he was asked to be the zoo’s official mascot in 2013.

“I was surprised that there weren’t many jobs for a bison that stands on two feet and wears a safari suit, so this role at Elmwood Park Zoo seemed like a good fit,” Bubby said.

Now but a humble tool for peace, Bubby keeps his high jinks low-key.

• Species: Cheesesteak

• Age: 3

• Mascot idol: Gritty

• Favorite event: Sunday dinners

With a name like Whizzy, you know this guy is wit it.

The mascot for Geno’s Steaks, Whizzy J. Vento (the J is short for Jawn), a massive, wide-eyed, ambulatory cheesesteak, was born and bred in South Philly. His parents, Phil Mignon and Ana Roll, were longtime friends of the Vento family.

In classic South Philly fashion, Whizzy told The Inquirer he got his job as Geno’s mascot because “I know a guy who knows a guy.”

(Whizzy later tried to retract that statement with a “kidding!” and platitudes about charity events, but we know better.)

A huge Philly sports fan (”Go Birds!”), Whizzy enjoys live music, “kindness, friendship, positivity, and community.”

(Sounds suspiciously like one of those vegan California “cheesesteaks” to us.)

• Species: Fox

• Hobby: Bird watching

• Favorite song: "Fox on the Run"

• Celebrity crush: Megan Fox

The Valley Forge Tourism and Convention Board’s mascot, Montgomery T. Fox — a 6-foot-1 bipedal red fox with a penchant for dressing in colonial garb — has a backstory straight out of M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village.

In 2017, Monty was discovered by a Valley Forge park ranger inside one of the park’s recreated Continental Army huts. He told the ranger his great-great-great-grandfather was saved by Gen. George Washington and that his family had been guarding the house where they believed Washington still lived, more than 200 years later.

Monty had his mind blown when the ranger caught him up on everything that’s gone down since 1777.

We had to ask Monty, how did he think Washington was still alive?

“You know when you have a really great nap and you wake up a little confused about what time it is?” he told The Inquirer. “Let’s just say I had a lengthy hibernation that year and might have slept through an alarm or two (… hundred).”

Clearly, Monty gives no fox about alarms.

Curby

• Species: Plastic bucket

• Age: "Over 25"

• Collects: Recyclables

• Dislikes: Litter bugs

Sun

• Species: Yellow dwarf star

• Age: 15

• Father: The sun

• Best quality: Warmth

The Philadelphia Streets Department’s recycling mascot, Curby Bucket, and the Philadelphia More Beautiful Committee’s mascot, Sun Ray, are strange and wondrous beings in their own right. One is a giant, smiling pail overflowing with trash and the other is a tuxedo-clad sun who looks like Jigsaw’s cousin and wears sunglasses to protect himself … from himself.

But together, these longtime buddies — who have the Sisyphean task of promoting clean streets and good recycling habits in Philly — are a force to be reckoned with. You’re not going to forget to recycle or clean up your block after encountering this duo, lest they haunt your dreams forevermore.

Curby told The Inquirer he was created in the ’90s to encourage positive recycling habits. He did not say how he was birthed into existence, but rumor has it he came to life one day when a carton of radioactive Arctic Splash was dropped into a recycling bin.

Sun Ray said his dad (the sun) sent him to Philly in 2007 to help the Philadelphia More Beautiful Committee work with block captains to organize cleanups.

“As a mascot, I am 15 years old,” Sun Ray told The Inquirer. “As a beacon of light and hope, I am forever years old.”

Curby your enthusiasm there, Sun Ray.

• Species: Krimpet

• Age: 24

• Best quality: Sweetness

• Mascot idols: The Phanatic and Wally Goose

Tastykake’s mascot, Kirbee Krimpet, is a massive, freckled Krimpet with bushy eyebrows, Sinatra blue eyes, and a tuft of white hair gracing his frosting-covered forehead.

But what’s perhaps most noteworthy about Kirbee is that his feet are also made of Krimpets. Imagine living in a multiverse where your feet were just tiny versions of you. You can see how things could start to get real weird, real quick.

Kirbee told The Inquirer he was made to be Tastykake’s mascot (“It’s in my DNA”) and his mission is to help spread the cheer of the brand.

“Sometimes I like to stay in the bakery and eat extra treats too but that’s between us,” he said.

• Species: Hoagie

• Hometown: Wawa

• Favorite season: Hoagiefest

• Mascot idols: Wally Goose and Swoop

While many are familiar with longtime Wawa mascot Wally Goose, the convenience store chain also has a second, lesser-known mascot, Shorti Hoagie.

Much larger than his real-life 6-inch counterparts, Shorti is a bipedal hoagie from Delco (a.k.a. hewgie) who made his debut a few years after Wawa introduced the Shorti in 1992.

“On a roll” ever since, Shorti is a staple at Wawa Hoagie Day and an avid fan of the chain’s Hoagies for Heroes hoagie-building contest.

“I like to think of myself as an ambassador of the hoagie, spreading love and joy for everything that makes the hoagie special!” he said.

When he’s not hoagie spreading the love or hanging with Wally, Shorti enjoys coming up with new hoagie combos. In an obvious act of self-preservation, Shorti did not say which combination of ingredients results in him.

Victor Vaccine

• Species: Humanoid alien

• Age: “Superheroes don’t age”

• Power: Vaporizing vaccine-preventable diseases

• Hometown: “A galaxy far, far away”

Chester

• Species: Horse

• Age: 12

• Hometown: West Chester

• Pastime: Eating grass

Bee Diddy

• Species: Bumblebee

• Age: 15

• Favorite color: Red

• Mascot idol: The Phanatic

Well before COVID-19 reared its ugly head, Philly’s suburban Pennsylvania Immunization Coalition mascots — Montco’s Victor Vaccine, Chesco’s Chester the Immunization Champion Horse, and Bucksco’ Bee Diddy — were using their big noggins to promote the importance of getting vaccinated.

Victor Vaccine, a humanoid superhero from another galaxy who now lives in Norristown, attends community events, where his “V-Team” has kids lob “germ balls” at him, which he deflects with his shield to symbolize the protection vaccines provide.

Chester, who galloped onto the scene in 2012, lives in a paddock in West Chester but gets trotted out to community events to help “spread the word for everyone to join the herd and get vaccinated,” he said.

Bee Diddy, a massive, bespectacled bumblebee, isn’t all about the Benjamins, baby, but he is all about those sweet vaccines. Armed with a stinger he never uses, Bee Diddy spreads the buzz about the importance of getting poked for vaccines.

Delco’s Immunization Coalition doesn’t have a mascot, but we’d like to suggest one: a Wawa garbage can with a dude eating a hoagie on top of it. Nothing says “get vaccinated now” quite like eating your lunch atop a trash can.

• Species: Pig

• Age: 35

• Birthplace: Smiling Porker Farm

• Favorite movie: “Babe”

What’s 6-foot-6, 35 years old, and looks ready to cook up his friends?

Smiley, Hatfield’s mascot — a giant, grinning, bipedal pig with a chef’s hat.

We’re not saying Smiley would eat his own brethren. We’ll let him say it. He left his favorite food category blank when responding to our questionnaire and he told us how he loves attending Phillies games and hanging out with the Phanatic.

“Our favorite nights are Dollar Dog Nights where we indulge in Hatfield franks,” Smiley said.

Smiley, you’re bacon our hearts!

• Species: ?

• Age: 4

• Birthplace: "The Land of Imagination"

• Hobby: Touching things

The fall of 2018 was an unprecedented time for mascots in the Philadelphia region. The Flyers’ Gritty, the Union’s Phang, and the Please Touch Museum’s Squiggles were all introduced within a month’s span.

Gritty continued on to world domination, Phang went on to see his team compete in the MLS Cup last year, and Squiggles moved on to play with rubber duckies.

You do you, Squiggles!

An indefinable, purple whatchamacallit, Squiggles has big, curious eyes and Medusa-like hair that “bounces all around with excitement.”

We asked Squiggles — who told The Inquirer they haven’t left the museum since they were introduced in 2018 — what they do in their free time.

“I drive a SEPTA bus, float boats and rubber duckies in a river, have tea parties with the Mad Hatter, shop in the grocery store, and ride a sparkly carousel,” Squiggles said.

• Species: Dog

• Travels on: SEPTA

• Driving mission: Safety

• Mascot idols: Gentry, Franklin, and McGruff

During the great mascot invasion of 2018, SEPTA put a call out, asking the public to submit mascot ideas for the transit agency.

Not only did it not go well (suggestions included a snail and an “eternal, disembodied scream”), but the bigger issue was that SEPTA already had a mascot, Paws, a massive dog in overalls who has been around since 1999.

A Paws doppelgänger who’s been unofficially tweeting as the “dead-eyed” mascot under the account @Transit_Dog since 2016 was quick to call out the agency. SEPTA responded by claiming Paws is its “safety mascot” not its official mascot. (“And the Phanatic is just the mascot for sacrifice bunts” @Transit_Dog replied.)

The agency never did name an official mascot, and Paws, who told The Inquirer he has a “pedigree” in mascoting, is still around.

“Safety work can be ‘ruff,’ but overall, this dog’s life has been ‘paw-some!’” he said.