South Fellini’s hilarious new Christmas song is a ode to the Feast of Seven Fishes

It’s called “If You Give Me Seven Fishes” — and it’s the Christmas song Philadelphia didn’t know it needed.

The holiday tune from Tony Trov and Johnny Zito, founders of the irreverent Philly lifestyle brand South Fellini, celebrates every last bit of the Feast of the Seven Fishes, the Italian-American — and very South Philly — tradition that marks Christmas Eve with a seemingly ceaseless meal of fish and other seafood.

“Don’t want no fa la la, just give me that baccalà,” Trov sings in a video for the song, which South Fellini released last week on Instagram and Youtube. “If you give me seven fishes, I will give you 100 kisses.”

Bopping through iconic South Philly locales — like the Italian Market and the Passyunk Avenue Acme parking lot — Trov croons of Seven Fish favorites, like mussels and linguine and sides of crab gravy, to sushi rigatoni and scallop manicotti.

“Don’t treat me like a fool, I don’t want no gabagool,” Trov sings in front of a blue Christmas tree. “Don’t treat me like a jabroni, have some crabs and macaroni.”

The tradition of the Feast of the Seven Fishes stems from Southern Italy, and commemorates the long wait for the midnight birth of Jesus. It was adopted in the 20th century by Italian American immigrants homesick for their homeland.

For their part, Trov and Zito, lifelong South Philadelphians and best friends, who are also filmmakers and writers, said the inspiration for a Christmas song about smelly fish, like eels, smelts, and baccalà stems from their fondness for a holiday tradition they’ve known all their lives. But it also fits with South Fellini’s brand, which hilariously elevates Philly culture.

“It’s a beautiful thing that exists and we’re super proud of it,” said Zito, a first generation Italian American. Childhood preparations for the feast began days before Christmas with a family trips to Anastasi Seafood, he said.

“We did all the smelly fishes,” he said.

Trov, who grew up at 11th and Ritner Streets, said it seemed like every other house on his block was filled with relatives celebrating the feast.

“It was almost like a potluck and everyone’s bringing a fish,” he said, with a laugh.

Trov wrote the music and lyrics for the song (recorded by South Philly producer Mike Vivas.) He wanted something that had the feel of a Louis Prima song, he said.

“So many Louis Prima songs are about food or eating,” Trov said.

The song is far from South Fellini’s first foray into original holiday content.

Last year, Trov and Zito released a deeply odd video tribute to Philly Christmas kitsch. The captivating, and sometimes haunting, piece of digital media art featured a supercut of found footage from bygone Philly seasonal schmaltz, like the “Five Cash Fives” lottery commercial, and the Gimbel’s Parade. It all flashed over a haunting dream-like beat made by Trov.

And this Christmas, they’ve planned their own version of the classic Yule Log: looping footage of a crackling Italian Market burn barrel they filmed for social media.

For many, “If You Give Me Seven Fishes” will evoke memories of family holiday dinners with everything from, as the song goes, “scungilli baby” to “galamadi maybe.”

The holiday tune brims with South Philly pride.

“Double park your car, without any care,” Trov sings. “Buon Natale from South Philly. Just say you’ll be there.”