Weight gain is more common during the pandemic. Here’s how to talk to your teen about it. | Expert Opinion
A parent should avoid negative comments made about his or her own body weight. Weight talk, or encouraging a child to lose weight, should also be avoided.
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America, we have a problem. One in five American children and adolescents is obese. Obesity is highest among adolescents ages 12 to 19.
How do you know if your teenager is obese?
Your teen’s primary-care provider (PCP) measures body mass index (BMI) — weight in kilograms divided by the square of the height in meters. Teenagers’ BMIs are expressed as percentiles:
Underweight: below the 5th.
Healthy: between the 5th and 85th.
Overweight: above the 85th.
Obese: above the 95th.
Why do parents need to worry?
Obese children are more likely to become obese adults, and obesity increases the risk of problems including diabetes, heart disease, and cancer. Also, we live in a society where weight bias and discrimination, or " fat shaming,” is rampant. Fat shaming triggers physical and emotional and physiological changes and is linked to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and eating disorders, as well as increased weight gain.
How can parents speak with their teenagers about their weight in a sensitive manner?
Parenting has its challenges and this is definitely up there. The message must begin with the affirmation that your teenagers are beautiful — because they most definitely are — no matter the BMI percentile. Commenting on their strengths and positive qualities can help promote a positive body image.
What are some things not to say to your teen?
Calling attention to teenager’s weight problems can have negative effects. Especially now — hotline calls to the National Eating Disorders Association increased 70% to 80% during the pandemic. A parent should avoid negative comments made about his or her own body weight. Weight talk, or encouraging a child to lose weight, should also be avoided. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), weight talk can actually trigger unhealthy behaviors such as skipping meals, fasting, purging, and exercising excessively. Also, parents should not tease their teens about their weight or about what and how much they are eating. One study found that teasing during adolescence was associated with unhealthy weight-control behaviors and binge-eating in adults.
Should your teenager go on a diet?
No. According to a study in the Journal of Adolescent Health, teenagers who engage in extended cycles of yo-yo dieting end up increasing their BMI as adults. It turns out that “dieting” is a risk factor for both obesity and eating disorders. Making changes in food choices is not the same as “dieting.”
Should teens weigh themselves?
No. The focus needs to be on health, not on the number on the scale. Research has shown that increased frequency of self-weighing throughout the high school years may damage an adolescent’s self-esteem and psychological health. So, toss the scale.
How can you help adolescents achieve a healthy weight?
Gently (without hovering), help your teen pay attention to eating behaviors. Encourage “intuitive eating” — eating when hungry and stopping when full. Eating slowly can help because it takes about 20 minutes for a person’s brain to get the message of being full. Is your child emotional-eating? Sometimes people turn to food for comfort — consciously or unconsciously — when dealing with stress. Always encourage three meals a day. Skipping meals often leads to overeating later.
Avoid labeling foods as “bad.” All foods can play a role in healthy eating. The key is to make healthy choices most of the time. If you’re food shopping, ask your teen to join you (this is not a joke) and teach how to choose foods for well-balanced meals and limit sugary drinks. Did you know that sugary drinks are the leading source of added sugars in the American diet?
Understanding portion size is important. People tend to eat what’s on their plates, so if the portions are large then so are the calories consumed. Serving sizes on the labels tell you the nutrients in the food. When it comes to foods that are high in calories, sugar, or fat, the serving size is a useful guide to alert you that you may be getting more than is healthy.
Eat. Family. Meals. Children and adolescents who share family meals three or more times a week are more likely to have a normal weight and healthier eating behaviors.
Exercise. Physical activity burns calories. Regardless of weight, it is recommended that adolescents do 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity daily. Want to help? Make it fun and do it together (yes, you). It’s not all or nothing — even 10 minutes counts.
These changes will benefit the entire family — after all, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
Sometimes, adolescents truly need to lose weight, and other times they just need to avoid weight gain because they are still growing. Please discuss this with your child’s PCP.
Rima Himelstein is a pediatrician and adolescent-medicine specialist at Nemours/Alfred I. duPont Hospital for Children.