Football bond: Imhotep grad and his adoptive father spread the word about the foster-to-adopt process

Football gave Zymir Cobbs-Duncan a family.

At 7 years old, Cobbs and his little sister entered the foster care system after his mother was incarcerated, he said, for stabbing his stepfather. Over eight years, Cobbs moved to about a dozen homes in North and Southwest Philadelphia while changing schools 10 times.

“I never met my dad. My mom, she had a lot going on with her mental health,” said Cobbs-Duncan, 23, who’s a defensive lineman at Houston Christian University.

“I feel like with my family, it’s every man for themselves. My mom is still dealing with mental health issues. My little sister and big sister are in and out of prison — it’s not really family-oriented.”

In the words of the late poet Maya Angelou, though, “family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs.”

The former Imhotep Charter defensive end formed relationships with players and coaches ever since he picked up a football at age 10. They helped guide him to a playing opportunity at Lackawanna College, then Temple, where he recently graduated. He’s now pursuing his master’s in business administration and has a daughter who is 2 years old.

Football led him to meet Jackson Duncan, who adopted Zymir as his son in 2020.

“One day he was like, ‘Hey, Coach Jack, I’m tired of being in foster care. I need you to adopt me,’” said Duncan, who’s from Chester County and the founder of Focused Athletics, a nonprofit that offers academic and athletic support, such as free SAT preparation and workout sessions at area fitness centers.

The two have had quite the journey together. They’ve since used their story to speak at events across the state to make others aware of the foster-to-adopt process. On Thursday, the two were keynote speakers for a Pennsylvania Statewide Adoption and Permanency Network event in the Poconos.

“I wouldn’t be in this position today if it wasn’t for Jackson,” Cobbs-Duncan said. “The biggest thing for me is inspiring kids and showing them that I’m a prime example that no matter how hard the situation is, it can be done.”

» READ MORE: Documentary by Winslow High students about an athlete who survived hardships and thrived wins NFL Films award

Cobbs-Duncan wanted stability, although it’s hard to find, he said, when you’re changing schools and having new guardians take care of you so often. Because of the complexity of his home life, he struggled in the classroom. Football became the place where nobody saw him for his backstory — just who he was as a person.

“Football was my foundation, I had a lot of great coaches,” Cobbs-Duncan said. “I remember I went out for tryouts and you had to pay to be part of the team. I didn’t have anybody to pay for me. One of the coaches wound up paying for me. Ever since then, I just fell in love with the game. It gave me a sense of family.”

Cobbs-Duncan attended West Catholic as a freshman. After the season, he came to the realization that he wanted to join powerhouse Imhotep Charter. The goal wasn’t to play Division I football, but to work toward another opportunity. The Panthers’ program gave him that.

“Being around a lot of great players, guys that compete at a higher level, made me better,” Cobbs-Duncan said. “With the right opportunity, I knew I could make something happen.”

He still had to get his grades up, though. At age 15, Zymir met Duncan at a football camp. He and other Imhotep teammates joined Focused Athletics, which was founded in 2015, to help with academics and training. As Zymir and Duncan’s relationship grew, they spent their time on the football field, doing jujitsu, or weight training at the gym. But Zymir was dealing with problems at his foster care home.

“I was really struggling,” Zymir said. “The phone bill needed to be paid and I was looking for my next meal — things like that.”

He knew that he could trust Duncan, so when Zymir asked about adopting him, it did not feel out of place. Duncan, who lost his father at age 7, was uncertain at first — he was a single man at the time and did not know whether he was ready to take on the responsibility of fatherhood.

» READ MORE: Philly dad and newly adopted son head to the Super Bowl as NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell’s VIP guests

However, he knew how important a male figure is in a young man’s life.

Duncan, 39, played football at Valley Forge Military Academy and College, then at Franklin and Marshall, where he finished his undergraduate degree in business management. What led him to those opportunities were his coaches, whom he looked up to.

He knew Zymir sought out similar guidance.

“It wasn’t like The Blind Side,” Duncan said. “It was hard. He was not an easy kid to raise — sometimes we went head-to-head. In the end, he could see [discipline] was for his own good.”

Being a parent isn’t easy.

Duncan had to learn how to discipline Zymir while also creating a space to talk out their problems. Whether it was Zymir taking Duncan’s car without having a license or using money for groceries to buy personal items, “We hung in there,” Duncan said.

“It was just a testament to not quitting and perseverance on both of our ends,” he added. “We used to do something called ‘Grown man talk,’ which means you can’t raise your voice, you can’t curse, and you can’t swear. It was our tool that we created to kind of navigate through those tumultuous times.”

There also were plenty of joyous moments.

One of Zymir’s favorite memories with Duncan was when they were invited to Lincoln Financial Field on Jan. 5, 2020, for an Eagles game against the Seattle Seahawks. He was introduced to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, who announced that they would be his guests at the Super Bowl as a way to honor Duncan for his work with the nonprofit.

“The next thing I know, the camera is on me, and I’m like, ‘What the hell is going on?’ ” Zymir said. “I was shedding tears. It was a crazy moment for me. That experience showed how much [Duncan] cared about me because he made it happen.”

The two want to inspire other families and make them aware about the foster-to-adopt process. Most people are unaware of how many children are in the system or how to adopt, Duncan said.

“There’s tons of kids out there that really need good people,” he said. “So we’re trying to let people know about this opportunity and how they can help kids currently in the system.”

To become a college football player isn’t an easy feat. Zymir believed the odds were against him, but with the right people in his corner — and finding a family in Duncan — he overcame those odds.

“Your past doesn’t determine your future,” Cobbs-Duncan said. “I’ve been in so many different situations where I asked myself, ‘How did I get where I’m at today?’ For me to be in Houston and making it out of Philly still blows my mind.

“I’ve worked hard to get here. I’ve also had a genuine person back me up and wanted the best out of me.”