This Philly guy wanted to learn how to be a better dad, so he asked around. Now he has a national PBS show.
He found a lot of modern fathers want to be present for their kids, not only good providers.
Joe Gidjunis is a regular guy. So, like most people, when fatherhood hit, he was winging it.
A child of the ‘80s, his main role models were good provider fathers who were barely around, and doofus TV dads like Married with Children’s Al Bundy. He wanted to be something better for his little boy.
But what?
So Gidjunis started asking questions — of other dads, lots of them. Experts, too.
“That became the journey of figuring out what kind of dad I want to be,” he said.
He just never expected it to become a national TV show.
Grown Up Dad will premiere this month on nearly 300 PBS stations around the country. It’s the first installment in a documentary series examining modern fatherhood, with Gidjunis, a Manayunk resident, leading the way.
“I cannot believe I’m going to get to turn on TV in a couple of weeks,” said Gidjunis, 41, “and see my face and my son and my family trying to help everyone — including ourselves — to be better parents.”
For the fledgling filmmaker, the project is both a labor of love and a dream come true. A former education and general assignment reporter for the Camden, N.J., Courier Post, Gidjunis left journalism in 2010; he and his wife, Rebecca, now 43 and an assistant provost at Eastern University, decided the crazy hours of breaking news journalism wasn’t conducive to the family life they were hoping to start.
Instead, Gidjunis built a successful commercial and event photography business. When he got the idea for a look at contemporary fatherhood, some of the inspiration came from Bandit Heeler, the beloved dad on the Australian children’s cartoon hit, Bluey.
He wasn’t thinking of a national multipart series. But the folks at WNED PBS in the Buffalo-Toronto area saw the potential in the project when Gidjunis presented it to them. They, in turn, got broad support for the project from their fellow stations.
“WNED PBS was in from the beginning of this project,” said Kathryn Larson, vice president of content distribution. “There are a lot of programs that help new mothers, but I had never seen one for dads.”
The show’s origins come from Gidjunis’ own quest: how to be the father he felt his son Gabe, now 7, deserved.
“I just really felt unprepared to be the kind of dad I wanted to be,” he said.
Growing up in Upper Moreland Township, his own father, a management consultant, worked hard to be a good provider for his family. That meant a lot of business travel, and often being away a week or two at a time.
“He was around when he could be for Little League games, but he also missed a lot,” Gidjunis said. “I missed so much of a relationship with him, and I did not want to repeat that for Gabe. I really wanted to be a much more present and active dad in his life.”
‘There are no gender roles’
As Gidjunis did his Grown Up Dad interviews, he tapped the expertise of parenting experts. But the show also features one-on-one conversations with a diverse array of fathers from around the country, including the Philadelphia area, and even abroad.
One of those dads is Orlando Rios, 37. Growing up the child of teenage parents in North Philly, Rios said his father worked but often came home too tired to be a nurturer; his mother managed to work and care for the kids.
Now he and his wife, Erica Bou, 35, are partners in everything — in the hair salon they run together and in raising their two sons, Omari Eli Bou-Rios, 2, and Emir Owen Bou-Rios, 1. “There are no gender roles,” he said.
When relatives in his traditional Latino family tease him about changing diapers, he said it doesn’t bother him.
He’s very glad to be part of Grown Up Dad.
“It should be kind of an eye-opener. I think there are people here that are kind of stuck,” Rios said, who now lives in Blackwood, N.J., with his family. “I hope it would force some conversations between moms and dads. Everybody has to work in today’s world. If we’re talking about two-income households then we also need two parents involved to raise our children today.”
Intentional parenting
Adam Woods, 42, a screen printer who owns a shirt-printing business in Camden and lives in South Philly with his husband Justin, 42, an actor, and their daughter Emi, 8, also has hopes for the show.
“I hope the men who watch are affirmed in how much joy and well-being active fatherhood can bring to them,” Woods said.
He and his husband went to parenting workshops to prepare for Emi’s arrival. “Even before we were parents, we were being very, very intentional about our desire to start a family.”
Growing up in Tennessee, Woods also found inspiration for fatherhood. Although his own father died when he was just 10, “I had a really wonderful cast of de facto godfathers who were there for me. So I learned a lot about fatherhood and parenting during those years in spite of growing up in a single-parent household.”
What lessons especially stayed with him?
“Work-life balance is probably the biggest one,” he said. ”And being less reactive and more proactive when you’re parenting.”
For now, Grown Up Dad is set to air in the country’s top 50 markets. Next year’s episodes will delve into technology and children, mental health, toxic masculinity, the financial issues of parenthood, and other issues.
Room to grow
One viewer has already formed his own opinion.
“I think it’s good so far,” said Gabe Gidjunis, who makes some appearances on the show.
He had his own advice for dads.
“I might say be a nice person to your kid, but don’t overdo it,” he said. “If your kid asks you to do something and you automatically say yes, and that keeps happening” that wouldn’t be good. “If the kid keeps getting whatever it wants and when it doesn’t it would be really mad because it’s used to getting whatever it wants.”
He also thinks it’s better for dads to spend time with their kids rather than just buying them stuff — although he said stuff is nice, especially when it’s stuff you can use during family time.
“I like playing lots of games and making funny jokes.”
And how does he think his own father has done so far?
“I think he’s a pretty good dad,” Gabe said. “Like 60 to 70 out of 100%.”
“Wait,” his father said, laughing. “I’m getting a C or a D over here?”
“Well, you’re not below average,” the rising second grader said, reassuringly.
“That’s the nicest thing he’s ever said about me,” said Gidjunis, still laughing.
And it does leave room to grow. He’d be the first to tell you that’s what Grown Up Dad is all about.
“Grown Up Dad” will air on NJTV in New Jersey on June 13 and 15 and on Philadelphia area WHYY on Father’s Day, June 16, and then again on June 20. It will air June 17 on WLVT. It can also be viewed via streaming on pbs.org. Several more episodes will air next year.