A joining of minds and hearts

It was day one of their AmeriCorps service project and they were barely through team introductions, but Sam and Kyra had already sized each other up.

She was so effusively happy and kind to everyone that Sam wondered if it was some sort of act. Conversely, Kyra interpreted his cautious reserve as aloof conceit.

“I thought, ‘This Harvard boy — he is a little cocky. I don’t know if we’re going to be friends,’ ” said Kyra, who had just graduated from Georgetown.

They were friends soon after.

Kyra, who is from Conshohocken, and Sam, from Suwanee, Ga., near Atlanta, had gone to Memphis for a three-part, yearlong project. They gave vision screenings to young children in hopes of correcting issues before they could create problems with literacy. They provided free tax-filing services for families with low incomes. And they made video recordings of residents telling their stories to create a social justice documentary.

Between the office work, where the dozen teammates were squeezed around two folding tables, and the field work, where Sam and Kyra often wound up traveling across Tennessee to test kids’ eyes, they quickly discarded their first impressions.

“He was deeply committed to this work, and deeply engaged with all of the people we met,” Kyra said. Their conversations got deep during six-hour car rides. They learned of shared values and goals, and “I began to realize that Sam can be vulnerable.”

“Kyra is electric, with this magnetic personality,” said Sam. Her happiness and kindness are authentic. He trusted her, and that meant he could be himself, too.

“It was very freeing to not have to take on any of the identities that go with being in certain spaces,” he said. “I didn’t have to be the Black football player with Kyra. I am just Sam.”

Both had hoped to use the year to figure out not just what they wanted to do with their lives, but who they are. Together, they talked about all of that and everything else. Well, almost everything.

“I was attracted to Sam almost right away and I immediately shut that down,” said Kyra. “We were friends. We worked together!”

Sam had just begun to date again, six months after ending a college relationship. “I would crowdsource my Bumble dates in the office. Kyra recommended one location. Then she crashed my date.”

This, said Kyra, was not intentional — it was her favorite coffee shop.

Sam’s dates mostly showed him how much he’d really rather spend time with Kyra. After one December night when he’d had a bit too much to drink, he told her so.

“I like you, we’re great friends, you’re not feeling great right now so let’s just get you taken care of,” Kyra told him. She got him a glass of water and said good night.

When Kyra brought him coffee the next morning, they both pretended the awkward conversation never happened. Yet over the next three weeks when both were home for winter break, Sam and Kyra were in constant Snapchat contact. Her friends and family called her out. “You like this person. You need to tell him.”

Soon after they were both in town, a date of Sam’s disappointed him with her lack of interest in the Star Wars universe. “I’m going to have a Star Wars marathon and I need a friend to watch with,” he told Kyra. “Heck yes, I’m down!” she said.

But after a movie and a half, Kyra interrupted. “We need to talk,” she said. “I like you. You like me. Let’s just do this.”

Kyra signed on to work a second year with AmeriCorps and Sam took a job at the local Comcast. In August, Kyra’s brother Sean died from complications of cerebral palsy. He was 19 and she was devastated.

“I flew up to Philadelphia and Sam came up for the funeral,” she said. “He was a rock for me during that time. It was a new experience to have a partner who was really there for me — someone to catch me, and hold me, and help me feel.”

In September 2018, Kyra, who is now 27, moved to Washington to work for Georgetown University’s Center for Social Justice, where she is now assistant director of immersion programs. They dated long distance until February 2019, when Sam, who is now 28, landed a job with Chong + Koster, where he is now associate strategy director in digital marketing.

“I love Kyra’s commitment to see the best in folks,” Sam said. “She always wants them to do the right thing and she always believes that they can. She has helped me grow and see the world more broadly and with more empathy.”

“Sam is incredibly loyal and caring,” said Kyra. “I sometimes have a tendency to isolate myself and not connect with the people I love the most. Sam is that person who will show up for people, and he encourages me to show up for the people I care about. He is this incredibly grounding, centered presence in my life.”

The engagement

While visiting Kyra’s parents over the 2019 holidays, the couple told them they planned to get engaged. Her mother gave Sam and Kyra her grandmother’s wedding and engagement rings.

In March 2020, Kyra spent a stressful week trying to help students get back to campus as travel options faded.

Later that month, both were home, working remotely. Sam called it a day, went to the bedroom, and changed into a nice shirt, which caught Kyra’s eye.

Sam knew he was busted.

“I look over and he’s basically doing a split with his hands above his head like ta-da! and he’s got the ring box in one of them,” she remembered.

“Let’s go get engaged,” Kyra said.

They walked to the Supreme Court — the place where the Loving v. Virginia decision that struck down state laws banning interracial marriage had been made in 1967 and, more recently, where Kyra had pulled Sam into a protest during Justice Brett Kavanaugh’s swearing in.

Sam popped the question. Kyra said yes. Two strangers drinking White Claw captured the moment in a photo the couple treasures.

It was so them

The couple married on Oct. 16, 2021, at the Manor House at Prophecy Creek in Ambler. Journeys of the Heart officiant Diane Smith-Hoban saw their nervousness and suggested the couple first say their vows in private. “I was balling my eyes out because it was so amazing,” said Sam. “Diane created this place just for us,” said Kyra. “I had this delayed reaction, and ugly cried the whole way down the aisle.”

They repeated their vows in front of 175 friends and family members. The ceremony began with the acknowledgment that some very loved people could not be there: Kyra’s brother and the couple’s uncles and grandparents who had passed away, along with others who could not travel because of the pandemic, including Sam’s family in Jamaica and Canada.

Among the couple’s vows was “I promise to support you in all that you do, and encourage the unique spirit that is you.”

Sam and Kyra each poured a glass of wine into a larger cup and drank from it to symbolize the combining of their lives.

Next steps

The couple honeymooned in Jamaica, but since COVID-19 restrictions required them to keep to the tourist area, they could not visit Sam’s family. Instead, they spent the week reading and relaxing, and looking forward to returning when Sam can introduce Kyra to his family and show her around the place where his mother grew up.