A life filled with music, family, and adventure

They met at the now defunct Eugenia psychiatric hospital. Lane was an established recreational therapist, Mark was on his new staff member tour.

“I remember what he was wearing when he walked through the room – a turquoise blue polyester shirt and a gold necklace – so Northeast Philly,” said Lane.

“I saw Lane walk by with her long blond hair and hippie dress and confidence, and I just felt something like, who is this person?” Mark remembered. “There was some spark. It wasn’t romantic, but I just knew she was going to be important to me.”

Mark, who was then engaged to his high school sweetheart, and Lane, who lived with her long-term boyfriend, worked well together. About a year after Mark joined the staff, Lane took a new job at Northwestern Institute. When Mark applied for a position there about eight months later, Lane put in a good word for him.

The Northwestern staff was young and everyone went out together after work, which is when Lane and Mark became friends.

Lane was a professional square dance caller. One time Mark offered to help her pick up some sound equipment at her parents’ house. Lane’s mother pulled her aside. “You’re going to marry that man,” she told her daughter. Lane was incredulous. “I’m living with someone. He’s engaged to be married. There’s nothing going on between us!”

Mark invited Lane to his summer 1979 wedding, and Lane would have gone had she not been visiting her sister in Cameroon, who was in the Peace Corps. Lane bought a handwoven prayer rug as a wedding gift for the couple.

Mark still has the rug, but he and his first wife separated about a year later and eventually divorced. During this time, Lane’s relationship also frayed. She and Mark talked about their similar troubles and, eventually, the dates they went on with other people.

Their friendship deepened even after both moved on to different jobs. Then Mark realized he had a crush on his friend. They started meeting for dinner, and one night in Chestnut Hill began a rousing game of 20 questions. “After questions like ‘What instrument did you play as a child?’, Mark says to me, ‘Can I kiss you?’ " remembers Lane.

It was a good kiss, but Lane wasn’t sure they had enough in common to be a good match. He was into sports, business, and classic rock. She was a free-spirited, folk-loving flower child. Then they took a 1980 road trip to Florida and stopped en route for a hike up one of the Smoky Mountains. Mark burst into song — “If I Were King of the Forest” from The Wizard of Oz.

“On that trip, I realized he was spontaneous, funny, creative, and a really good musician,” Lane said. Mark played keyboards then and has since added hammered dulcimer, banjo, and guitar. “It was on that hike that I felt like my heart flipped.”

“The next February, I moved into Lane’s apartment in Chestnut Hill,” Mark said.

In summer 1982, the couple decided to marry, and to hold multiple celebrations to please both their parents and themselves.

The morning of May 8, 1983, they had a Jewish wedding ceremony outdoors at the Highlands. A hammered dulcimer player performed, and Lane’s sister played guitar and sang. After the couple broke a glass together, Lane’s father followed them back up the aisle playing his violin. A catered brunch followed and a swing band played. That afternoon and evening, many of those guests and more – about 200 people in all – gathered at the same spot for a potluck supper and more dancing. In addition to a covered dish, guests were invited to bring their instruments for a giant jam. Still in her wedding gown, Lane climbed atop a chair to call a square dance.

Lane, who grew up in Wyndmoor and is now 69, earned a master’s and a Ph.D. in counseling and became a counselor at what is now Arcadia University. She later moved to La Salle, where she was associate dean of students until retiring seven years ago.

Mark, who grew up in Northeast Philly and is now 66, earned an MBA and has spent most of his career in health-care administration. He is currently senior director for the Cardiac Center Service Line at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.

They have two children, Josh, now 37, and Lisa, 34. “We were very involved with our kids. We gave them creative birthday parties. We took them to outdoor concerts and folk festivals,” Mark said.

There was room for all kinds of music in their lives – folk and contra, and more mainstream acts like Yes, Springsteen, and Paul Simon. Mark even took the kids to sporting events.

“They had a really well-rounded upbringing,” Lane said.

The couple primarily raised their family in Cheltenham, where they lived for 30 years. Two years ago, they downsized to a new place in Glenside. All of their homes have usually been shared with a dog and two cats. The current four-legged family members are cats Fig and Flora and dog Lilly.

Lane and Mark’s home has always been holiday central. Whether it’s Passover or Thanksgiving, family and friends arrive with an appetite and their musical instruments.

When Mark isn’t working at the hospital, he plays piano at cocktail hours and private parties. He also writes waltzes – one for Lane as an anniversary gift, and one for each of their kids’ weddings, which he and Lane played together.

Lane plays alto, tenor, soprano, and base recorder with two musical ensembles every week. When she was working, she sometimes had to travel. Mark continues traveling for work. The time apart makes them relish their time together more, Lane said. They always enjoy filling each other in on their separate adventures.

For their 30th wedding anniversary, the two went on a bicycle trip in Central France and Paris. Bicycling has since become an important part of their lives. They’ve biked around Sweden, Denmark, Ireland, Scotland, Hungary, Slovakia, Italy, and Northern Spain. To stay in shape for what is usually six days of biking 25 to 40 miles per day, the couple bikes 30 to 35 miles together every weekend.

They are a bit competitive — particularly when it comes to racquetball and Ping-Pong.

The couple has one grandson, Jasper, who will soon be 2, and they can’t wait to welcome their second grandchild, a baby girl expected in August.

This summer, they will bike together in France and Switzerland.

They recently celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.

“Mark is one of the kindest, most generous people I’ve ever met,” said Lane. “He’s a loving partner who is always looking to make my life easier. If something is bothering me, he calms me down. Every birthday and anniversary he writes me a beautiful poem. They are between us right now, but I hope after I die someone finds them and publishes them. I can’t imagine my life without him.”

“There’s so much to love about Lane,” said Mark. “But one of the best things is she’s always challenged me to look at myself, to grow, and to be different. And she’s so fun to be with. We are still really good friends.”