Fabulous, forevermore | Lisa Scottoline

Do you want to know the new fashion craze?

Then you’ve come to the wrong place.

I’m no fashionista.

I’m a novelist(a).

But I heard about the new trend because I read about it, and now I’m writing about it to you.

Reading is (fun)damental!

Anyway, the new craze is having your jewelry welded onto you. People are now buying bracelets in gold, silver, and other metals, then having them soldered onto their wrists.

Something interesting is going on here. The bracelets range in price from $60 to $250, and all kinds of people are jumping onto the trend.

Not just welders or ironworkers.

To buy jewelry, you need a credit card and a union card.

It turns out that best friends are buying these bracelets for each other, and mothers-and-daughters, and plenty of couples, which raises an interesting question: Why, all of a sudden, do people want their jewelry to be permanent?

Maybe because these days, nothing else is.

In the newspaper article, they showed a photo of a small gold chain soldered to the wrist of a young girl, right over her tattoo. It was like a permanence on top of permanence.

What’s going on? Maybe we live in an age of uncertainty, which creates anxiety, and we want something we can count on.

Deep.

Or maybe jewelry is just plain fun.

Shallow.

We know that change is a constant, but that doesn’t mean we like it. We change our minds about change.

For example, I’m divorced twice, so I made two excellent changes. I love change!

On the other hand, as soon as I discovered the perfect fleece pants, they stopped making them. I hate change!

So I leave it to you.

I have to confess that I have bought into this fashion trend, to some degree. A few years ago, I began to notice ads for the Love bracelet, a gold bangle made by Cartier that actually bolts to your wrist. It even comes with a little screwdriver.

Tools for girls!

When I first read about the bracelet, I thought, I’ll never get one of those.

And then a month later, I thought, I need one of those.

So I bought myself one.

By the way, I think that someone who loves you is supposed to buy the Love bracelet for you. The idea is that you’re bound together forever.

But you’re allowed to love yourself. And if you don’t, you’re still allowed to buy jewelry. In fact, I bet the more you hate yourself, the more jewelry you buy, and this is called retail therapy.

I don’t judge.

So I put the Love bracelet on my wrist and locked it with the screwdriver, which is as handy as I get.

I’m a Cartier Carpenter.

I like that I never have to put the bracelet on or take it off. I don’t hate change, I hate effort.

But I like the idea that I could take it off if I have to. A friend of mine has one, and she had to take hers off for surgery. But she forgot her screwdriver when she went to the hospital, and her husband had to go back and get it.

It was either that or amputate.

And nobody parts with that bracelet.

The article about permanent jewelry also said that it was an improvement on regular jewelry, since bracelets often break at the clasp, which is the weakest link.

Hmmm.

These days I fumble with every clasp, so maybe I’m the weakest link.

And if you’re OK with permanent jewelry, what’s next?

Are people going to start embedding diamonds in their skin?

Not me.

If I were going to solder something to my flesh, it would be Bradley Cooper.

Look for Lisa’s best-selling historical novel, “Eternal,” in stores now. Also look for Francesca’s critically acclaimed debut novel, “Ghosts of Harvard,” now in paperback.