Holding out for true happiness

Trish couldn’t stop thinking about Sam, the man at the far end of the Shabbat dinner table. The distance between their seats that May 2013 evening kept them from talking much, but they laughed together — and flirted a little, too.

Trish had to do something. “I sent him a friend request on Facebook,” she said.

Sam was surprised and delighted. “She’s very pretty, and I really liked her laugh — and that she laughed at all of my jokes,” he said.

The flirting continued on Facebook — a welcome diversion from studying for her pharmacy school finals at Jefferson and his medical school finals at Temple. Two weeks later, exams were over and he asked her out.

They planned to meet at a bar, but at the last minute, Trish asked, “Do you want to just stay at your place and order a pizza?” “I was hoping you’d say that,” replied Sam.

Future dates were similarly fun and easy, and they discovered much in common, including a shared commitment to family. Sam’s birth mother, Carol, died when he was 5 and Trish grew up without her father. “We both have a really deep sense of what’s truly important,” she said.

Despite their happiness and shared values, neither Trish, who is from King of Prussia, nor Sam, from Elkins Park, was sure their relationship could work long-term.

“Sam comes from a very religious Jewish background — one grandfather was a rabbi and the other was a Holocaust survivor,” Trish said. “I came from a pretty Catholic background.”

“I was very conflicted,” said Sam. “I felt pressure to find someone with a Jewish background, but I really wanted to be with Trish.”

A little more than a year after they met, the couple reluctantly broke up. Trish took a job in Washington. Sam later asked if they could try to make it work, but Trish had a job and an apartment lined up. “It felt like it was too late,” Trish said.

Sam soon matched for residency at Mount Sinai in New York City.

For two years, they dated other people — none of whom made Sam, who is now 36, nor Trish, now 35, as happy as they had made each other.

“It felt so terrible compared to what I had with Trish, where I could be myself,” Sam said.

“I thought about him every day that we weren’t together,” Trish said. “I prayed that he would come into my pharmacy.”

In 2016, Trish’s mother, Mary, was diagnosed with a brain tumor requiring immediate surgery. During surgery, she had a stroke. “All of a sudden she needed 24-hour care,” said Trish. “I left my job and was back in Philly as a full-time caregiver.”

Life was unpredictable, and Trish missed Sam. “I just remember one day getting up the courage and texting, ‘Do you remember me?’ ”

It was such a pivotal moment that Sam remembers every detail. “I was wearing an orange basketball jersey with the sleeves cut off, in the gym, and about to do a set of weights,” he said. “I was so overwhelmed.”

He texted back: “This might be weird, but do you want to come visit me this weekend?” Trish’s aunt stayed with her mother so Trish could go to New York.

Both were nervous, but they were immediately completely comfortable. On subsequent trips, Sam introduced Trish to his friends, and they often went out for dumplings. But most of the time they stayed in and watched Bar Rescue.

“Trish and I could be in an empty room together and be completely happy,” Sam said.

They dated long distance for a year and a half. In 2018, Sam finished his internal medicine residency and matched with a cardiology fellowship at Hahnemann. After Hahnemann closed, he completed his fellowship at Temple. Trish and Sam moved to her childhood home in King of Prussia, where Trish continues to care for her mother.

On Christmas Eve 2018, Sam walked into the living room where Trish and her mother were hanging out. Making sure Mary could see what was happening, he knelt in front of Trish. “Will you marry me?” he asked, opening a box to show her a ring.

Trish said yes, and the three shouted with joy and hugged.

“I surprised two people,” notes Sam.

The couple had not yet figured out how to manage their different faith traditions. “Having a relationship with this person who I was most compatible with was really just the most important thing,” said Sam.

“We had just decided to make it work,” said Trish.

The couple married on April 25, 2019, at Philadelphia’s City Hall. Their budget, including attire, photographer, and dinner at Vetri, was $2,000. Trish rented a dress. Sam wore a sport jacket he owned. They had seven guests. “Above anything else, Trish and I value our relationship the most,” said Sam. “Our small wedding was really special.” Trish agrees: “I cried the entire time.”

Plans for a honeymoon in Thailand later that year were happily abandoned when the couple learned Trish was pregnant with daughter Naomi, who is now 3.

Shortly before Naomi was born, Trish completed her conversion to Judaism.

“The day after she was born, the COVID lockdown started,” Trish said. “We were home, taking walks, and getting takeout. It was sort of an excuse to do what we always do.”

In 2021, 13 months after the birth of their big sister, twins Eva and Veronica were born.

“He’s a great dad to all of these girls,” Trish said of Sam. “He’s funny, and I love that. And I love the way he thinks.”

“At her core, she is just a really good person,” said Sam. “She understands things about the world and how it works that most people wouldn’t. And she’s my best friend.”

Sam’s grandmother, Savta Sora, turned 90 in early 2023 and her birthday request of Sam and Trish was simple: a Jewish wedding for them and a baby-naming ceremony for their girls. The whole family would already be in town.

The couple was happy to make this wish come true. Trish and Sam’s mother, Rebecca, did the planning. “She did most of the work, and it was gorgeous,” said Trish. “I didn’t think I wanted a wedding but I was so happy that we had one.”

A baby-naming ceremony, a wedding, and a reception were held on Feb. 26 at Abington Art Center. Their 50 guests included people from all three sides of Sam’s family — his father, Timothy, his birth mother, Carol, and his mother, Rebecca.

Trish’s Uncle Frederick walked her down the aisle for the traditional Jewish ceremony.

Trish wanted to remember the day exactly as it unfolded and chose photographer Rebecca Barger to help that happen. “As soon as I saw her work, I really fell in love with the candid shots,” she said.

Sora and Mary were both in the hospital that day, so the couple FaceTimed the event so they could watch.

“When we were officially married and walked back down the aisle, it felt like we were on Miss America,” Sam said. “It was really fun to be in that moment.”

Seeing their three daughters dance at the reception was a highlight for Trish. “They really cut a rug,” she said.

In June, Sam will complete his cardiac electrophysiology fellowship at Lankenau Medical Center. The day after their second wedding, the couple toured the house they recently bought in Lebanon, Pa., and Sam will start a job at Good Samaritan Hospital in July. The couple, their girls, and Trish’s mother are all moving there together.