People talk about sexual health more than ever. But a controversy over sex toy ads shows women’s pleasure remains taboo.
In an age of period parties and hysterectomy cakes, discussion of women's sexual pleasure still feels off-limits in public spaces.
Ad No. 1 depicts a phallic cactus and language about erectile dysfunction. Ad No. 2 shows a sex toy geared toward women.
Riders of the New York City public transit system see ad No. 1 plastered on buses and at stations. But ad No. 2 was too sex-oriented for the Metropolitan Transit Authority. Now, there’s a lawsuit.
Dame Products, a Brooklyn-based company that sells sex toys for women, this month announced it’s suing the MTA, claiming the authority is perpetuating a “sexist” double standard by denying its ads while allowing pharmaceutical companies to advertise sexual health products geared toward men. It’s launched a public awareness campaign on social media called “#DerailSexism.”
For its part, the authority released a statement saying “the MTA’s advertising is in no way gender-based or viewpoint discriminatory,” and claimed it denied the ads because the company is “sexually oriented.” But some have wondered why the transit authority has such a policy in the first place, raising the question: When people are talking about reproductive rights more than ever, why is sexual health — especially with regard to women’s pleasure — still so taboo?
Our culture has come a long way in terms of how it talks about women’s sexual and reproductive health, even in just the last few years.
Just this month, Apple announced that its new Apple Watch will have a menstrual cycle and fertility tracker built into its daily log function through the Health app. It was probably only a matter of time before the tech giant entered the space — apps meant to help women track their periods and ovulation have been around for years, and allow them to not only prepare for their periods, but mark irregularities and symptoms.
The way we look at milestones in women’s health has evolved, too. Parents are increasingly throwing their daughters “menstruation celebrations” and “period parties.” Pinterest is chock-full of ideas, including uterus piñatas and red velvet cakes dripping with icing that reads “Happy 1st period!”
Congrats-on-getting-your-tubes-tied cakes and menopause cakes are a thing now, too. And look no farther than Etsy for dozens of ideas before you throw the most picture-perfect hysterectomy party.
But with all this celebration of women’s reproductive health, why is the idea of pleasure still off-limits?
“These are taboo topics that people don’t often discuss publicly,” said Jackie Rotman, founder and CEO of the California-based Center for Intimacy Justice, a nonprofit that advocates for women’s sexual wellness companies. “The ‘why’ is the million-dollar question. I think part of it is: It’s not normalized, because we don’t see it talked about as much. And so therefore it’s perpetuated.”
Rotman said Dame’s lawsuit speaks to a bigger problem in today’s business culture: that companies addressing women’s sexual health face obstacles that companies geared toward men don’t.
For example, the MTA displays plenty of ads for condoms and breast augmentations. Hims, the company behind the cactus ads, has a ubiquitous presence, according to the New York Times, as does Roman, which sells generic Viagra. (Hims commented on Dame’s Instagram, writing “we support this 100%, all sexualities and genders deserve equal access to public forums.”)
The MTA appears to see Dame as fundamentally different from these. In a FAQ on its website, the transit authority explicitly states it doesn’t allow ads depicting “sex toys or devices for any gender," because MTA policy prohibits ads that promote a “sexually oriented business."
But Dame claims it’s a health and wellness company, pointing out on its website that vibrators are sometimes recommended by physicians as a drug-free alternative to increasing libido and addressing issues with sexual function, especially for women “recovering from abuse, cancer, and more.”
Rotman said it’s up to institutions — such as social media companies, Hollywood, and, yes, the MTA — to examine their advertising policies and how they depict women’s sexual health.
“There are companies and businesses and sectors that are responsible for contributing to this,” she said, “and I think they need to be better aware and take a more equal stance in how we look at female sexuality.”