Commentators call on Republicans to surround Philly. Philly social media responds: You’ve obviously never met us
"Philly out here like 'Hold my cheesesteak.'"
As ballots were being counted at the Pennsylvania Convention Center on Wednesday night, Fox Business Network host Lou Dobbs talked trash about the electoral process in Philly and wondered aloud why Republicans just don’t surround the city.
“Philadelphia looks like a cesspool electorally," he said on his show. "Why in the world wouldn’t the Republicans surround that thing and, if you will, you know, at least apply a little, what would you call it, some sort of scent?”
Meanwhile, Republican commentator Harlan Hill took to Twitter early Thursday morning to suggest that Republicans should “start bussing Trump supporters to Philly” to “make them feel our level of pissed off.”
“I’m going to Philly tomorrow with a team,” he wrote in another tweet. “This is war.”
Armed and ready with countless examples, Philadelphians quickly took to social media to school the fear-mongering commenters on why this would be a very bad idea, since they’ve obviously never met anyone from Philly.
From a renowned museum that proudly features baby fetuses in jars to a beloved mascot whose chief weapons are surprise and fear, here are some of the most prudent warnings to would-be agitators from those who know this city best.
Don’t sleep on our little old ladies and don’t think we won’t pick a fight with your baby
Even the most gentle librarians can administer Narcan.
— Lynn Fisher (@DLynnFisher) November 5, 2020
Legend at my hospital: Little old lady brought in by medics. Metal detector kept going off. Found a .380 in her damn wig.
— Peturkey Pumpkinpie, MD 🦃 (@pjputh) November 5, 2020
Bruh, they booed my baby for wearing Mets gear at a Phillies game. You don't want none of Philly. https://t.co/s6jyg3rwHh
— WandaVision✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 (@ThatWMD) November 5, 2020
Our mascots eat Philly haters for breakfast and they’re hungry
Gritty will eat you alive, Dobbs.
— Stefan Buczko (@StefanBuczko) November 5, 2020
The Phanatic will blast what's left of you into the Schuylkill with the hotdog cannon. https://t.co/Bwi66qccrY
Hey Lou, I found a bunch of uncounted ballots from GOP strongholds in here. You wanna come see? pic.twitter.com/pl7UJZO94V
— Nunzio Vuono (@nvuono) November 5, 2020
Philly does this for fun https://t.co/rj4okrx0ix
— Deb (@debmack__) November 5, 2020
Reinforcements from South Jersey are standing by
Someone should tell them 90% of the people that live in Philly have relatives in South Jersey ready to cut lose. YOU CANT SURROUND OUR SQUAD! pic.twitter.com/1RhvslAHhn
— Time for Better (@CitizenNem) November 5, 2020
Whole lotta Anthonys gonna cross the Delaware like opposite Washington.
— Tony the Prawn (@tony_the_prawn) November 5, 2020
We take our hoagies and robotic uprisings very seriously
One of these guys is going to order a ‘sub’ instead of a ‘hoagie’ at Wawa and catch a fist to the back of the head
— Eric Williams (@ejw99) November 5, 2020
You're gonna try to intimidate a city that beheaded a hitchhiking robot? Try it, Louise. https://t.co/qBrglFp0Y5
— Taj Magruder (@TajPHL) November 5, 2020
😂😂😳Oh yeah I forgot about that😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/rU4IPpl2yh
— OHNJPat (@mrpmcd) November 5, 2020
Iggles fans are always looking for new rivals
Well the Eagles don’t play this weekend so come on down Lou. Looking forward to it
— ScotInPhilly (@keithcspencer) November 5, 2020
Tell 'em to make sure they put on their Cowboys and Mets gear so they get an extra warm welcome.
— Vicious, horrible person (@McGone) November 5, 2020
Lol. Lou Dobbs has never attended an Eagles game in a Cowboys jersey pic.twitter.com/aItAPrKwGI
— Virginia Kase (@KaseVirginia) November 5, 2020
If you’ve seen how we celebrate a Super Bowl win, you would fear everything else we do
We contain at least one white person who has eaten horse apples post Super Bowl win.
— Mike Pipper (@MikePipper2) November 5, 2020
Shame is unknown to us. https://t.co/PyJT5AwUZJ
philly out here like. hold my cheesesteak. pic.twitter.com/MiQXhGx3jy
— Sender (@therealsender) November 5, 2020
Philadelphians climbed GREASED poles, this will end well https://t.co/2BgOZp4zC6
— Minka (@Minkatb17) November 5, 2020
Trying to out crazy us? I can’t go for that
Sure, Lou. Go for it. Philadelphia has a museum that almost entirely consists of deformed fetuses in jars and that doesn't even crack the top 5 of craziest shit in that city https://t.co/c72b5RBe64
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) November 5, 2020
I once went to an ASAP Rocky concert in Philly where a *fan* maced him while he was *on stage* performing https://t.co/qbi4aukCmF
— KB (@KaraRBrown) November 5, 2020
Hall & Oates are from Philadelphia, they met while running away from an R&B concert that turned into a gang fight.
— mhfakahd (@mhfakahd) November 5, 2020