I’ll watch your kid, you watch mine: Mt. Airy Babysitting Co-op nears 50

When Eleanore Pabarue had her daughter, Kate, christened at Christ Church and St. Michael’s Episcopal in Germantown 37 years ago, the minister delivered a kind of parental commandment:

“‘Thou shalt do the Mt. Airy Babysitting Co-op,’ ” Pabarue recalls. She and her husband were newcomers to Philadelphia from North Carolina in need of child care. “I listened. And I did what the minister told me to do.”

Now 68, Pabarue, who taught English, Latin, French, and history for the middle- and upper-schools at Country Day School of the Sacred Heart in Bryn Mawr, is retired and lives in Blue Bell.

“But,” she said, “my heart is in Mount Airy.”

The babysitting co-op, where parents look after each other’s children free of charge, has been a much-loved Mount Airy institution for decades, and is approaching its 50th year. Members say they’re not aware of a similar organization in the area with such longevity.

It’s seen as an extension of what residents have come to label “the village” — a city neighborhood of kindred spirits who celebrate diversity and the idea of community-building. The area, a home to many artists, professionals, individualists (one local is a sword-swallower), and the civic-minded, has been nationally lauded for residents’ organizing efforts to create and maintain racial integration.

“There’s no concern about prejudice or judgment here,” Pabarue said. “My husband and I are an interracial couple, and we never had problems. The approach is acceptance of others, almost like the Quaker philosophy: There is that of the divine in everyone, so you treat each one the same.

“That same philosophy lives in the co-op.”

Recently, the co-op, which also includes families in Chestnut Hill, reopened after a pandemic-fueled hiatus. It currently has 13 families but is open to new members and is looking to return to pre-COVID-19 levels of around 30. Most of the babysitting over the years has been done by mothers, though many fathers get involved.

“You have to work to be a member,” said Erin Mooney, part of the group for eight years. “It’s not as easy as hiring a babysitter. You have to show up and put in babysitting hours on a monthly basis.”

Dues are just $10 a year. The co-op runs on a fairly complex points system that tracks and balances the number of times parents babysit and request a babysitter themselves.

“So if you only ask for, but don’t provide sits, you’re held accountable,” said Mooney, who did not give her age. She’s the interim executive director of the Schuylkill Center, an urban environmental education center in Northwest Philadelphia. “And you need to get back in positive standing. It can feel cumbersome at first glance, but the bottom line is it’s worked for almost 50 years.”

A new member must be nominated by one family, then seconded by two others. The applicant must then participate in a playdate and exchange two babysitting sessions with other families so they can be “seen in action,” Mooney said, “to see if it’s a good fit.” Then the membership votes.

”It’s all very specific,” Mooney said. “We don’t like the idea of background checks, so it’s families seeing families.” No one has ever had a problem with that system, she added.

“It’s quite a process of vetting that took a few months,” said the co-op’s newest member, Safiyyah Okoye, 39, who lives in Chestnut Hill. She’s a professor of nursing and public health at Drexel University. She and her husband, Tristan Quinn-Thibodeau, 40, who works at a nonprofit, moved to the area with their children, ages 4 and 6, from Baltimore in August.

“They checked us out, then checked out our house for safety.”

Okoye is eager but anxious for her first sit.

“It’s pretty intimate to go to someone’s house and take care of their kids,” she said. “I’m a little nervous about it. My mother and father never had outside sitters.

“But my husband and I feel we should go out more. And babysitters are very expensive. Plus, this is a great way to build community.”

Pabarue agreed. “It’s a wonderful chance to get to know others, and to get involved,” she said. “Mothers aren’t at home chatting over the back fence anymore.”

What’s also important about the co-op is the feeling of “complete comfort” it delivers, Mooney said. One night, she and her husband were out, and at 11 p.m., their then-infant started throwing up.

The co-op sitter called and the couple sped home.

“When I got there, the babysitter was covered with vomit, but just holding the baby. She’d been holding her all night without cleaning up. Parents will do things that hired babysitters just wouldn’t.

“And I have an incredible connection with that other mother because of that night.”

As it happens, not just the grown-ups bond.

“I like how tight-knit everyone is, and willing to step in,” said Pierce Barsanti, 10, Mooney’s son and a fourth-grader at William Penn Charter School in East Falls. “Everyone is kind to each other, and you know it’s a parent watching you, and not a random teenager. When we were younger, they’d tuck us in and read us books. It was nice.”

Happily reminiscing herself, Pabarue said, “The babysitting co-op is a lifesaver. And so great. In the end, it restores your faith in human kindness.”