Not a greased pole in sight in Kansas City as Chiefs Kingdom ‘celebrates’ — if you want to call it that

If Chiefs fans are celebrating in Kansas City but no one had to grease the poles ahead of time, did it even happen?

Following the Kansas City Chiefs’ Super Bowl win, Chiefs Kingdom kicked off their celebration — if you want to call it that. Seemed pretty mid, to be honest.

Searches of the hashtag #ChiefsKingdom — the official NFL moniker on social media platforms — and other relevant tags including #Chiefs show a much different aftermath than what Philadelphia fans typically bring — as evidenced by the NFC championship aftermath from two weeks ago.

On Massachusetts Street in Lawrence, Kan. — a city about 40 miles away from Kansas City where the University of Kansas is located — a block party erupted with a sea of red shirts and matching red twinkle lights. In a video of the celebration, three people can be seen attempting to climb street poles — cute! But they didn’t appear to get far. No one even shotgunned a beer.

A separate tweet, showing a drone overhead photo of Massachusetts Street, shows a quaint cluster of red along another section of the closed-off road.

But, here’s the thing — there’s a lot of visible gray road in that pic. Where was everyone? Our reporter saw just as many people on Broad Street despite the loss and our weather was rainy! Not a drop in sight over there …

In the Power & Light District — Kansas City’s downtown hub that hosts a stretch of popular bars and nightlife — fans could be seen celebrating, waving flags and beers. But where was the man on a hoverboard using a crossbow to shoot Jell-O shots into the crowd? Absolutely nowhere.

And I guess a few people danced on cars and stuff, but it looked more like a scene from La La Land than the loving degeneracy we’re used to over here.

Seriously — where’s the ruckus? Where are the chaos and the Elmo drum line and the ATVs and the shoddy home fireworks? While these polite Midwesterners are throwing back brewskies, Eagles fans were joking about lighting a Jeep on fire or something.

On TikTok, person-on-the-street-style videos conducted by comedian Joe Nunnink mocking the dichotomy between Eagles and Chiefs fans — and how extreme Philly fandom can be — have gone viral.

In the videos, Nunnink asks fans from both teams how they’d celebrate a win. Chiefs fans discuss enjoying barbecue and champagne. Meanwhile, Eagles fans jokingly said things like “if we win, I’m going to rob a Wawa. If we lose, I’m going to napalm a Buffalo Wild Wings” and “I’m going to find an eagle and teach that eagle how to shoot a gun.”

Anyway, congrats, Chiefs fans. Enjoy your Joe’s Barbecue or whatever.