Rhode Islander pens ‘Streets of Philadelphia’ parody to reflect recent headlines

From her home in Rhode Island, Lauren Lee Malloy has been reading the news about the trip two of her state officials made to Philly in March to tour the Bok Building that’s made headlines across the country this week.

“I thought a lot of things that you probably can’t print,” she said. “I think that the situation itself, once it all came to light, it was really horrifying.”

The alleged conduct by David Patten, the former director of Rhode Island’s property management division who resigned this week, and Jim Thorsen, who was then the director of the state’s administration, was so outrageous it resulted in two separate investigations, though both of those investigations are likely to be closed now that Patten has resigned and Thorsen no longer works for the state.

Among those allegations are that Patten made racist, sexist remarks to some of those he encountered; sent a rider of demands to the Philadelphians he was there to meet (which included asking for “the best croissant in Philadelphia”); and requested free items from merchants during his trip. Thorsen, who was his supervisor at the time, was allegedly made aware of Patten’s conduct but did not stop it, according to an email detailing the allegations that was released this week.

News of the former state officials’ behavior led Providence Journal columnist Mark Patinkin to pen an apology letter to Philadelphia and this Inquirer columnist to issue a list of rude and absurd demands to Rhode Island officials in return.

Patinkin has since responded to our demands, sparking the beginning of the Philly-Rhode Island Croissant Peace Accords.

Malloy, 31, a communication specialist who’s a member of the Rhode Island Canine Search and Rescue Team, the Licensed Private Detectives Association of Rhode Island, and is the founder of Unsolved R.I., which provides support to cold case victims in the state, said she’s liked seeing people from her state step up “to support the good people of Philadelphia.”

“I think both parties, we’re survivors through and through, but when it comes to things like this, when it’s something so horrible, you have to have a sense of humor to get through it and come together,” she said.

Malloy was so moved by the coverage of the scandal she wanted to write something of her own.

“I thought ‘What if I rehashed a song?’ so I looked to see if Philadelphia had an anthem,” she said. “I saw Springsteen’s ‘Streets of Philadelphia’ and it just felt right.”

Check out the first verse of Malloy’s parody of Bruce Springsteen’s hit song, “Streets of Philadelphia,” here and read the rest on Twitter.

I was bruised and battered

I couldn’t tell what I felt

Wanted a croissant and 6-pack on the shelf

Saw some sneakers in a warehouse

And didn’t know my own rules

Oh brother Thorsen do I have to declare this

On the streets of Philadelphia