Elsie Mireya Gonzalez Commodore, indominable girl who lived at CHOP, dies at 3
Born premature at 34 weeks, her daily routine included music, occupational, physical, and speech therapies, and just being a kid.
Elsie Mireya Gonzalez Commodore, 3, of Philadelphia, a daughter, sister, and instant bestie to everyone who met her, whose medical needs required her to spend her whole life in the hospital, died Monday, March 8, of generalized lymphatic anomaly at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.
Like any toddler, Elsie loved cartoons and music. She had a playlist on Spotify, and her nurses told her mother they found themselves humming some of Elsie’s favorite tunes when they were at home.
Elsie’s mother, Adayna Gonzalez, used to make up little songs beside Elsie’s crib, and they always ended with “Mommy loves Elsie.” Her father, Travis Commodore, would project stars and the moon onto the ceiling of the hospital room at bedtime, and Elsie would point to them and drop off to sleep.
Her sister — and real best friend — 10-year-old Nila, was the one who named Elsie. She knew that Elsie liked the color pink, and giraffes and butterflies, because, well, “You just get to know her and have a special connection,” Nila said.
“She was a girlie girl,” Gonzalez said of Elsie.
“Her personality radiated love and positivity,” her father said.
Elsie was born premature at 34 weeks on March 28, 2017, in Charlotte, N.C. The family knew she had special needs and, after two weeks in intensive care in Charlotte, they got CHOP to fly Elsie to Philadelphia.
Generalized lymphatic anomaly is a rare condition of unknown cause. The lymphatic system transports a fluid containing white blood cells throughout the body to clear out toxins. In Elsie, the fluid leaked, causing buildup that had to be drained, then replaced, constantly.
At first, there was hope. Despite her medical gear — she had a tracheostomy, feeding tube, and sometimes other equipment attached to her — Elsie could sit up and go outside in her stroller, sit by the flowers, and feel the sun.
But her condition worsened, and surgery was ruled out. Meanwhile, her parents traveled back and forth from South Carolina to CHOP, one and sometimes both of them eventually staying often in Bala Cynwyd with Page Talbott and Jim Gould of Hosts For Hospitals, a local nonprofit that matches residents with out-of-town families in need of lodging and support.
Gonzalez moved to Philadelphia in June 2020, but the yearlong COVID-19 restrictions made it hard for anyone else to visit Elsie. Nila had not been to her room regularly since February 2020.
“It was challenging,” her mother said.
Despite the obstacles, Elsie persisted. For three years and 331 days, she woke up and rocked CHOP’s pediatric intensive care unit. The staff called her “the queen of the PIC-U,” and her daily routine included music, occupational, physical, and speech therapies, and just acting like a kid.
The tracheostomy left her unable to speak. So she gestured, and learned to say please and thank you, hello and goodbye, in sign language.
She became bedridden. So the family decorated Elsie’s room, especially on her birthday and holidays. Before COVID-19, Nila liked to crawl into bed with Elsie, and they would hug and kiss and take naps together.
Elsie could be “sassy,” her mother said. She would swat you if you woke her up too early, and she sometimes gave the side-eye when she didn’t get what she wanted.
On Elsie’s last day, people from all over CHOP stopped by to see them. It was sad, her mother said, but Elsie, covered by pink blankets, was surrounded by family and friends. She died in her mother’s arms with her sister by her side.
“When we left the hospital that day,” Gonzalez said, “it felt like we were leaving home. At the very end, it was beautiful.”
In addition to her parents and sister, Elsie is survived by other relatives.
Visitation with COVID-19 restrictions is to be Saturday, March 13, at 2 p.m. at West Laurel Hill Cemetery, 225 Belmont Ave., Bala Cynwyd, Pa. 19004. A graveside service is scheduled for Sunday, March 14, at noon at West Laurel Hill Cemetery.
Donations in her name may be made to Hosts for Hospitals, 326 Conshohocken State Rd., No. 2, Gladwyne, Pa. 19035.
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