Mildred L. Oberkotter, inspiration for and trustee emeritus of the Oberkotter Foundation, has died at 88

Mildred L. Oberkotter, 88, of Moss Beach, Calif., the inspirational namesake and trustee emeritus of the Philadelphia-based Oberkotter Foundation, retired social worker at the Lexington School for the Deaf in New York, volunteer board member, and tireless advocate for oral deaf people, died Thursday, May 9, of complications from age-associated issues at her home.

Born in Los Angeles, Ms. Oberkotter was diagnosed with hearing loss before she was 2. Her father, Paul, was transferred to Philadelphia for work when she was 3, and her mother, Louise, saw an ad for a small school in the Overbrook section of the city that specialized in speechreading and lipreading instruction for preschool children.

It was there, at 830 N. 63rd St., under the direction of Grace A. McClellan, that Ms. Oberkotter began to refine the communication and social skills that highlighted the rest of her life. The family relocated to New York three years later, and she went on to attend a progressive elementary school that integrated students with hearing loss and hearing students, earn a master’s degree in social work at Fordham University, and work for decades with children and families impacted by hearing loss.

Her mother taught her to talk when she was young, and Ms. Oberkotter championed oral communication, and inspired her parents to establish the Oberkotter Foundation in Philadelphia in 1985. With Ms. Oberkotter serving as a trustee since 1987, the foundation has created educational opportunities and dozens of listening and spoken language programs, and contributed more than $500 million to initiatives that focus on pediatric hearing loss.

“Yes,” Ms. Oberkotter told author Jim Reisler for his 2002 book Voices of the Oral Deaf, “this is my way of giving back.”

Teresa Caraway, the foundation’s chief executive officer, said in a tribute: “Mildie left us a clear vision for where the foundation should go and what it should achieve. … Her legacy is not only what she has done but also what will be built on the foundation that she so carefully laid.”

Ms. Oberkotter is featured in a video on the foundation’s website, and she talked often about the importance of oral deaf role models and family support for children. She contributed a chapter to Voices of the Oral Deaf, a collection of interviews with oral deaf people about their lives, and said: “Basically I had pretty much a normal childhood. … That’s important for parents of hard-of-hearing children to know. There should be time for their kids to have fun and feel part of their worlds.”

She became certified as a social worker in the 1980s and spent five years in the 1990s with students, families, and staff at the Lexington School for the Deaf. She also served on boards at the Weingarten Children’s Center in California and the Washington-based Alexander Graham Bell Association for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing.

“With her unwavering commitment and visionary leadership, she inspired thousands of children to believe that their dreams could come true,” foundation colleagues said in a tribute.

Mildred Louise Oberkotter was born May 18, 1935. Her father’s work took the family to California, Philadelphia, and New York, and her attentive mother introduced her to talking, lipreading, and speechreading a speaker’s message by observing many visual clues.

Family and friends called her Mildie, and she was smart and inquisitive as a girl. She played field hockey, basketball, and softball at a boarding school in New York, and studied accounting and business administration for two years at Green Mountain Junior College in Vermont.

She met Ed Cruickshank at a social group for oral deaf people, and they married in 1964, and lived in New York. She worked in sales and computer programming at first, returned to college in the 1980s, and earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and master’s degree in social work at Fordham in 1991.

She and her husband divorced in 1988. She lived in New York for four decades before retiring in 1995 and moving to Palo Alto, Calif., in 1997.

Often shy but determined to live her life fully, Ms. Oberkotter tutored math to elementary school classmates in New York, and they helped with her writing and grammar. She went to the movies with high school friends and hung out and played bridge with other women at Green Mountain College.

“She remained steadfast in her commitment to remove barriers to quality care and support families so that every child with hearing loss has the opportunity to learn to listen, talk, and reach their full potential,” foundation colleagues said.

“My parents,” Ms. Oberkotter said in the foundation’s video, “if they were here today, they would be very pleased with what the children themselves have accomplished.”

Ms. Oberkotter’s older brother, Robert, died earlier. A celebration of her life is to be held later.

Donations in her name may be made to the Alexander Graham Bell Association for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing, 3417 Volta Place NW, Washington, D.C. 20007; and the Weingarten Children’s Center, 3518 Jefferson Ave., Redwood City, Calif. 94062.