Shirley McKee Shreiner, former first lady and board member at Church Farm School, has died at 96

Shirley McKee Shreiner, 96, of Newtown Square, former first lady and board of managers member at Church Farm School, mentor, and volunteer, died Thursday, July 25, of age-associated decline at her home at Dunwoody Village retirement community.

Mrs. Shreiner’s husband, Charles W. Shreiner Jr., was assistant head of school and then head of school at Church Farm School in Exton from 1964 to 1987, and Mrs. Shreiner was his enthusiastic partner and collaborator. She served for years on the school’s board of managers, deftly attracted donors and supporters, and coordinated several of the school’s academic and social programs.

She was curious and engaging, family and friends said, and enjoyed interacting with students. She taught classes on manners and etiquette at the all-boys boarding school, and chaperoned dances and other school events.

She counseled homesick boys and acted, some former students said, like a second mother when they needed one. She made them feel “singular” and “special,” they said in Facebook tributes.

She represented the school administration at sports events and public affairs, and personally readied the chapel for services every Sunday. “She was perfection, kind, both elegant and down to earth,” a friend said on Facebook.

Mrs. Shreiner could relate to anyone, her family said, and she made the headmaster’s home a vibrant social center for the school’s faculty, staff, and supporters. She hosted memorable holiday dinners and parties, and usually saw to every detail herself.

“She was the epitome of graciousness,” her family said in a tribute. In 2012, she received the school’s J. Tyler Griffin Award for ambassadorship, and colleagues noted her “determination, love, and leadership” in their annual report.

She was active with the Ardmore-based Junior League of Philadelphia and volunteered at Chester County Hospital. For years, she worked the candy booth at the Devon Horse Show.

She belonged to St. Peter’s Episcopal Church in Cape May Point and St. Michael and All Angels Episcopal Church in Sanibel Island, Fla. She volunteered at thrift shops for the Junior League and St. Michael. “She was ever gracious,” a friend said on Facebook. Another said: “She was absolutely a class act.”

Shirley Flavelle McKee was born May 15, 1928, in Jenkintown. She played sports and graduated from the old Ogontz School for Young Ladies in 1945. In 1946, The Inquirer noted her debut into society with the headline: “Shirley McKee to bow at tea dance June 12.”

She earned a bachelor’s degree in biochemistry at Wells College in New York in 1949 and worked for a time in the laboratory as a research fellow at the University of Pennsylvania.

She met her husband when they were young, and they reconnected after he returned from military service in World War II. Their 1951 marriage was also noted in The Inquirer, and they had son Charles III, and daughters Stacey and Alix.

They lived for nearly four decades at the school in Exton, and later in Cape May and Newtown Square. They also traveled and spent time in Fort Myers, Fla. Her husband died in 2004. “They adored each other and balanced each other,” said their daughter Stacey.

Mrs. Shreiner enjoyed flowers and gardening, and was a member of the Valley Garden Club. She bowled and played golf, and sang in the Junior League choir.

“She was straightforward and a role model,” said her daughter Stacey. “She had integrity and strength of character. She exuded grace.”

Her daughter Alix said: “She was a remarkable woman.”

In addition to her children, Mrs. Shreiner is survived by eight grandchildren, six great-grandchildren, and other relatives.

Private services are to be held later.

Donations in her name may be made to Church Farm School, 1001 E. Lincoln Hwy., Exton, Pa. 19341.