I had to hire security for my son’s bar mitzvah. I don’t want this to become our new normal.

Last weekend, a groundbreaking took place for the new Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh that will have a memorial dedicated to the 11 worshipers who were killed in 2018, simply because they were Jewish.

That same weekend, my family celebrated a significant milestone: my son’s bar mitzvah, a Jewish rite of passage that marks the transition from childhood to adulthood at the age of 13.

The bar mitzvah day began with ancient traditions such as prayers and a reading of the Torah, followed by a reception with family and friends. It’s a time for the community to come together to celebrate the young person stepping into their new role, to reflect on childhood and gaze forward to the future.

But for my son’s bar mitzvah, I felt something I didn’t expect on one of the most significant days of my life: fear. I was concerned for the safety of my family and guests.

I was concerned for the safety of my family and guests.

Leading up to the day, I felt compelled to hire security for both the service and the reception. A few years ago, this thought wouldn’t have crossed my mind. However, with the rise in antisemitism, this decision became starkly clear.

I’m not the only one living with this fear right now.

As second gentleman Doug Emhoff noted at the groundbreaking at the new Tree of Life, “It is a crisis of antisemitism we are undergoing right now in America and the world.”

In Pennsylvania alone, nearly 400 antisemitic incidents were reported in 2023, ranging from assault to yelling slurs at Jewish people, to vandalizing property, often with a swastika — an increase of 246% from the previous year.

Leading up to my son’s big day, I raised my concerns with community members, who told me that hiring security was a very necessary precaution. A friend reminded me that Jewish communities in Latin America and Europe have relied on such measures for decades.

Early in our son’s life, back in 2012, we connected with a family at our local Jewish Community Center. The mother, a Jewish woman from Croatia, told us she thought we in the U.S. were fortunate to not experience the same level of violence and harassment Jews faced in Europe. When I saw her at her own son’s bar mitzvah this past Memorial Day, her sentiments had shifted dramatically. “We now know real antisemitism here,” she said, reflecting an all-too-common sense of unease and vigilance.

When I mentioned that I had hired security to friends and family, the overwhelming response was supportive. It was seen as a prudent measure to keep everyone safe.

How times have changed.

When I was growing up, my family synagogue’s doors were never locked, and guards were unheard of. That was the world I knew and the world I wish for my son or any person seeking a peaceful place to worship. I am angry that we have turned into a society where guards are now needed in a synagogue.

The bar mitzvah was a success, filled with laughter, love, and a sense of achievement. Yet as soon as I sat down in the sanctuary, I could feel the presence of a guard. It elicited feelings of both comfort and frustration, and served as a stark reminder of the challenges we face.

I don’t want this to become our new normal. We owe it to our children to create a world where they can celebrate their milestones without fear, where the joy of their accomplishments isn’t overshadowed by the threat of violence.

It is imperative that we, as a society, address the current climate of antisemitism, racism, and hate in all forms. We must be vigilant and proactive in combating hate. We must work together to ensure that our places of worship, our schools, and our communities are safe for everyone.

Of course, changing minds isn’t easy. But there are things each of us can do.

Individual actions are crucial. Show pride in your identity — whatever it is. Speak out against antisemitism and all forms of hate, and support anyone who has been targeted.

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We must all build alliances across communities, as hatred against one affects us all. Cosponsor events, engage in dialogues with people of other faiths, and participate in community service projects. All of this helps foster mutual respect and understanding.

When it comes to antisemitism, we must all promote education about Jewish culture and antisemitism in schools, communities, and workplaces to counteract ignorance and stereotypes. If kids can learn hate, they can also learn tolerance and love.

In the short term, although it makes me sad to say it, religious institutions and communities of all faiths must consider enhancing their security.

Let’s draw strength from our traditions, our community, and our shared commitment to a better future. I want to ensure that the next generation of Jewish kids celebrating their bar and bat mitzvahs can look back on nothing but fond memories, free from the fear of being hated for who they are.

Andrew Goretsky is the regional director for the Philadelphia office of the Anti-Defamation League, serving Eastern Pennsylvania, Southern New Jersey, and Delaware.