I was fired from coaching soccer at Geneva College for being gay

On June 2, I sat down in a meeting at Geneva College, a Christian university near Pittsburgh, where I had worked as the head women’s soccer coach for two years. The director of human resources, the vice president of business and finance, and my athletic director sat on one side of a table with manila folders in front of them.

The door was closed behind me. I had no idea how the next hour would change my life, my career, and my faith.

I was terminated immediately because of two stories I shared on my private Instagram. The stories had been screenshot and shared with human resources by a concerned staff member.

The stories that caused my termination were: “Queer people offer precious gifts to the church” and “Jesus is radically inclusive.”

I also posted a quote from the book Strangers and Scapegoats by Matthew Vos, an author who gave a talk at Geneva College, and argues that it’s important to welcome “people on the margins,” including the LGBTQ community.

The posts included an excerpt from Matthew 23: “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.”

As I sat there, confusion turned to sadness as I realized I would not exit this room as a soccer coach at Geneva College, and that I would lose relationships with 30 student-athletes that I had spent two seasons building.

As I mourned this silently, I attempted to have a conversation with these three men. Could we listen and see the value of all people in the kingdom of God? Would they be able to hear my experience as we learned from each other and sought truth together?

I found we could not.

When I started my job at Geneva College in 2021, I signed a contract stating that I agreed with traditional sexual ethics of marriage and sexuality: marriage is between a man and a woman, and any sexual action outside of this covenant is considered sin.

To be clear, I identify as a “Side B” Christian. This means that while I identify as gay, I have chosen to remain celibate and not pursue a same-sex sexual relationship. I came to this decision based on the traditional view of sexuality that I have held all my life, my own faith convictions, and my lived experience of how I can best serve God and my neighbor. These values are shared by Geneva College.

I tried to explain this nuance to my athletic director and the two other Geneva College administrators in the room.

“Is it a sin to be gay?” I asked.

The director of finance answered quickly, “Anyone living in unrepentant sin is not a Christian.”

“You know I am gay. I have shared that I am attracted to the same sex. Can I be a Christian? Do I offer anything to the church?” I continued.

There was no answer given. A decision had been made. I was given a nondisclosure form, which I chose not to sign. I forfeited severance pay.

The director of human resources took my keys and laptop and escorted me off campus. I walked the half mile back home. When I could catch my breath, I called my assistant coach, Dave Symmonds. “I need to come to your house,” I told him through tears.

By the time I arrived, Dave had already received a call from the athletic director informing him of my firing. Together we mourned. Later, Dave chose to resign, following his own convictions.

In the weeks and months that followed, I clung to my church friends, attended counseling, and attempted to cling to Jesus. I sought a temp job so I could pay my bills, fill my health insurance needs, and figure out next steps.

In August, I moved away from Pennsylvania to upstate New York for a coaching job that I am deeply thankful for at SUNY Potsdam. I’ve come to accept the fact that healing from this traumatic experience — that included me coming out publicly for the first time (very publicly) — is taking time. I had been “out” to roughly a dozen close friends and family members before I was fired.

A language barrier in evangelical circles caused trauma in my life. Many Christians chose to equate being gay with sin without understanding anything about who I am as a person, without considering how I had served Geneva College and its students, and without asking questions about what that means to be same-sex attracted in my life.

And the same thing is happening on Christian college campuses and in churches across the country.

Gay Christians like me are losing hope and support because of the lack of desire to understand sexual minorities. Too often, straight Christians jump to conclusions about LGBTQ people rather than asking meaningful questions about who we are, what we believe, and how God is intricately working in our lives.

There is another way that is not a change of theology, but instead a change of heart. I don’t want you setting me up on a date; I want you to radically welcome me into the church community. I don’t need you officiating a wedding; I need you to invite me over for family dinner. I don’t need you baking a wedding cake; I need you to allow me to share my story so that other gay Christians pursuing singleness know they are not alone.

Despite my experience with Geneva College, I love the Christian community and have not lost any of my faith. I’m quick to figure out if that community loves me back. Instead of hiding and walking in shame and inauthenticity, I ask questions directly: I’m gay. Can I be on your worship team? Tell me about your sexual ethics. Where are you in places for celibate people to build a family in your church? These questions are essential as I search for a church in New York state.

If you believe gay people should pursue celibacy, are you creating a family for singles in your church? Has your church participated in training on sexuality and gender? Organizations such as Equip Your Community, Kaleidoscope, CenterPeace, and the Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender all provide useful resources.

LGBTQ people are a part of your houses of worship, and we belong there. We have unique gifts to offer the church. And the most Jesus-like way to act is to welcome us.

Kelsey Morrison received their master’s degree in organizational leadership from the University of Valley Forge in 2019 while also beginning their soccer coaching career. They now serve as the head women’s soccer coach at SUNY Potsdam in Potsdam, N.Y. kelseyerin412@gmail.com