Even if you voted for Trump, you can find ways to protect and support trans people

There’s a kind of Trump voter who’s troubled by the human devastation his presidency will bring. Those voters can become allies in the fight to protect trans people.

by Shannon Mannon, For The Inquirer

Published Dec. 9, 2024, 6:00 a.m. ET

At breakfast the morning I broke the news of the election to my three teenagers, my 13-year-old asked his older transgender brother, “If you have to leave America, would you be considered a refugee?” He’s reading Alan Gratz’s Refugee in seventh-grade book club and is starting to understand and empathize with their plight. I wondered how long such books would continue to be allowed in our public schools.

Later, on a postelection Zoom call with Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia gender-affirming care providers, our community of parents asked questions. How will we protect ourselves against future allegations of child abuse? Secure medication from the black market if there’s a federal ban? Voices shook from the despair and fear we’re trying — and failing — to hold inside.

“If anyone had any idea what we’re going through …” one father shared and wiped his eyes. He couldn’t continue.

Parents with the means are hiring immigration lawyers to explore moving overseas where their children can continue receiving lifesaving care. One mom told me how her cisgender son, who’s thriving in high school and dreams of playing college baseball, told her this week: “It’s OK if we have to leave the country. We need to focus on Lou [his transgender sibling]. Don’t worry about me.”

I thought back to a weekend this summer when I visited a friend down the Shore. The last of us awake gathered on the deck. Lulled by the soothing hum of the ocean and the taste of salt air on our lips, our conversation opened deep and wide.

“I know that Trump will be good for our wallets but terrible for people,” one friend shared. Others nodded in agreement. These are not MAGA Trumpers, but some had voted for him in 2016. I was intensely curious if they would again.

In this new reality, legislative safeguards vulnerable people count on for protection will be eroded.

Here was my opportunity to peek behind the curtain, to get a sense of what had long troubled me. My friends know I’m a staunch advocate for the dignity of gender-expansive people. They respect my activism, born out of the struggles my child faces. They’re aware of Donald Trump’s transphobic policies. I needed to understand why they might choose to vote for him anyway.

That night, and through many conversations after, I learned that among many people I know in suburban Philadelphia, there’s a kind of Trump voter who’s troubled by the human devastation his presidency will bring. They’re aware of the disconnect between their values and Trump’s policies, and they have supported causes for the rights of women, LGBTQ people, and immigrants.

And yet, it’s clear that many of them voted for Trump in 2024 anyway.

Am I hurt and angry? Yes. But that night on the deck, I came to understand that there are Trump voters who are not Trump supporters.

Right now, that distinction matters, because I don’t have the luxury of isolating in judgment.

I wish I didn’t have to rely on allies to keep my child safe. But if Trump makes good on his campaign promises, it may no longer be safe for us to speak out. We’ll need our allies to lead.

In this new reality, legislative safeguards vulnerable people count on for protection will be eroded. If you — like my friends — are a Trump voter but not a supporter, consider what responsibility you bear to keep people safe, and what actions you can take.

Think about making monthly pledges to the American Civil Liberties Union or the Trans Youth Emergency Project. Offer pro bono professional services to community organizations. Learn how to signal allyship in hostile environments. Join Public School Strong to stand up for inclusive schools. Consume diverse media sources to stay informed. Speak up wherever you have influence — book clubs, sports leagues, holiday dinners — especially against hateful “jokes.” Advocate for local policies that protect LBGTQ rights.

Your voice matters, and your actions set an example for others.

Some of my fellow parents are dismayed that I stay in relationship with Trump voters. I understand. But a key ingredient in growing destructive ideologies is social isolation where a sense of abandonment takes root. I must resist ideologically simple statements like, “Anyone who votes for Trump doesn’t care about my family,” to remain steadfast in the face of the societal breakdown that will accelerate under this presidency.

Voting is a blunt instrument. This is the time to tease out the granularities of your values and how you’ll bring forth a vision of America you’ll be proud of.

Let your actions speak louder than your vote.

Shannon Mannon is a communications consultant, speaker, and author of a forthcoming book on the transformational power of transgender children.