10 things I learned from centenarians in the Philadelphia area

At the end of our lives, it’s the trips we’ll treasure. After Catharine Koenig, 103, lost her “dear hub,” she joined a memorable, monthlong group trip in China. Edna Wooden, 104, told me her favorite memories are traveling in England, Spain, China, Japan, Germany, and South America.

While he was competing in tennis matches, Newton “Newt” Brown Meade, 101, traveled “all over Europe and way down to South Africa with my wife.” And when Marie Silvestri, 100, retired, she traveled with her husband in Europe and Africa. “It was wonderful,” she said. “It was really very enlightening to see different cultures.”

None of our questions were about religion, but every centenarian we spoke with brought up their faith. “The Lord makes sure that he wants everybody to be happy,” C. Richard Fida, 100, told me. “I think the secret to living to 100 is first, be good to everyone.”

Wanda Wilcke, 99, said that the secret to living to 100 is faith and gratitude. “I thank the Lord for it because he has given me a good life,” she said.

Juanita Goss, 101, prefaced her observations about faith with the comment that she is “not trying to indoctrinate anybody, I’m just telling you my experience. I have found that prayer is so effective,” she said. “Thank God I’ve learned how to use it now.” Her advice on dating was also centered on God. “Go slowly. That’s No. 1. Do a lot of praying if you believe in that because it’s very helpful for me.”

Caroline Merrill, 109, quells anxiety by handing things over to God. “I do not worry about anything. I could not handle it. So I leave it up to the good Lord to show me the way.”

Herman Whilby, 106, was more blunt: “If you don’t believe in God, you have made a mistake. You got to believe in God, and he will carry you through.”

At age 100, Silvestri is already thinking about the afterlife. “Lord, if there’s a vacancy, I don’t want to hang around too long,” she said. “I don’t know that it’s true, but maybe we will meet.”

Movement is essential. “Don’t just sit,” Wooden said. “Stay active and belong to something and keep moving around.” She credits this movement with her independence. “I live alone, which I enjoy,” she added. “I do what I want to do when I want to do it.”

Rosanna Lazin, 100, drinks plenty of water and prioritizes exercise. “I am these days inclined to sit a lot, but I really need to get up and walk around, keeps the blood circulating,” she said.

Getting outside also benefits mental health. When Goss was younger, she lived near Haverford College and would walk her dog or walk alone. “I found, in walking, it cleared my mind,” she said. She took her children camping as much as possible. “Nature to me is very healing,” she said.

Anthony Krylow, 101, was quiet until we asked him about advice he’d give to younger people. “Eat a lot of vegetables. Eat right. I always have a salad before I have dinner,” he said emphatically. (And reader, I’ll tell you, after I heard that advice, I have significantly upped my intake of vegetables.)

Lazin credits her family’s garden with her health. “Wherever our family was, we always had a garden,” she said. “We had beans and we had tomatoes and we had squash, and we had turnips and all kinds of vegetables.”

Henry Marini, 102, told me his advice for younger people is “Keep a good wife or keep a good whatever you do, and keep it going because that’s the best thing they got when you get old.”

Many centenarians love their partners deeply, even the ones who have passed. Koenig told me her favorite memory is “marrying one of the best men that God could give me.”

Lazin said she and her husband “enjoyed a good life together, and I’ve enjoyed a good life ever since” — she lost him in 1978 from multiple myeloma. He made two fruit cakes for their family every year, even though he didn’t like fruit cake. She loved his mechanical mind and the ways he could take an engine apart and put it back together again on the kitchen table.

Goss said that communication is the essence of any relationship. “You can’t be too quiet. You have to get to know the person as much as you can and your motives,” she said. “Why are you getting married, or why are you attracted and spending your time — time is so valuable — spending your time with this person?”

“Say your prayers every day and be thankful,” Lazin said. “I especially am thankful for my health.” Silvestri thanks God for the fact that she survived breast cancer in her late 60s. Whilby thanks God for every day he is alive: “Every day I get up, I say, thank you Lord for another day.”

Wilcke, after five years in the Congo as a missionary, noticed that cars had completely changed, “But you just enjoy living wherever you are and be thankful for what you’ve got. That’s the most important thing.”

Goss’ last job was as a librarian. “I can remember sometimes coming home from work and the tears would come, but it wasn’t sad tears, it was grateful tears,” she said. “Everything has worked so well for me … As far as I’m concerned, we don’t deserve things, but I’m very grateful.”

Joy is readily available, if only we know where to look. Merrill’s wisdom is simple: “I love every moment. So I’m very happy.”

Whilby loves to laugh. “You know, I’m a joker. If I know you, I run a lot of jokes,” he said, smiling.

Meade can find happiness in most mundane moments. “I certainly enjoyed my life. I really did. I feel even if I just walk around, I’m happy,” he said. “I just put on my clothes in the morning and take ‘em off at night, and I’m happy.”

Even though Charles Malloy, 99, grew up in St. Vincent’s orphanage in Philadelphia after his father left his mother, he told us he found forgiveness. “I never had any bitterness or anything towards my father … who shirked his duties,” he said. “I have had too many good experiences not to be thankful.” I couldn’t help but realize, at the end of his life, that forgiveness had set him free.

Philomena Liberkowski, 103, attributes her longevity to having “good children.” And many of those children were present in the room when we interviewed the centenarians. Visits from family brighten their lives; Merrill was delighted that her son visited her from Texas the week before our conversation.

Wooden’s proudest accomplishment is her “three wonderful sons and their wives … There’s nothing they wouldn’t do for me,” she said. “If I need anything, they’re there for me.”

Silvestri has eight grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren. “They’re all beautiful and smart. I’m proud of them all.”

Malloy said of his family: “I’ve married well, and I have great children. They’re all a blessing.”

Opening ourselves up to hearing the voices of elders is a deep dive into wisdom that has the potential to remind us of what is truly important. As Goss simply put it: “Love and have a dog and live in the suburbs and don’t have bad habits. And you’re set.”

Merrill told me her favorite memory was moving in with her grandmother in Ardmore. “We always were taught to respect the elderly because, as we said, someday you may be old, too.”

May we all have the good fortune to age.