Join the Pa. legislature and start making money today! | Editorial

It has been well-documented that Pennsylvania has one of the largest and most expensive legislatures in the country. Lawmakers have been impervious to basic reforms needed to clean up the waste and excess.

A recent report in The Inquirer detailing how state legislators get paid a lot to work very little has this board wondering — with tongue firmly planted in cheek — about what an accurate job description would look like for an elected gig in Harrisburg, and how nothing will change until those who claim to be public servants look out for their constituents instead of themselves.

In the meantime, help wanted.

Job description: Come join an exclusive club of 253 members who work about 50 days a year and get paid a starting salary of $100,000. Leadership opportunities can bump your annual salary to $150,000 a year!

Office locations: The job includes a quiet office in a beautiful Beaux-Arts building in Harrisburg with a vaulted dome modeled after St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome. There’s a grand marble staircase, gold chandeliers, antique mahogany desks from Belize, painted murals, and a second office close to your home.

Paid time off: Everyone starts with 10 weeks of paid vacation in the summer, a long break during the winter, and lots of days off in between. There are all the usual paid holidays, plus Diwali. However, you must be willing to work some late nights to cast votes on major bills. (Don’t worry, you don’t have to read them.)

Cadillac benefits: Health insurance, including vision and dental coverage, for you and your spouse costs about $75 a month. Kids can stay on your plan until they are 26.

Lifetime security: There’s a guaranteed pension after serving just 10 years in the House and eight in the Senate. Some former elected officials receive annual pensions of more than $100,000. Former State Sen. Bob Mellow has been collecting an annual pension of $245,000, even after being convicted of corruption charges.

Side hustles allowed: Flexible scheduling allows you to hold down a second job where you do not have to disclose what you do or how much you get paid. There’s even time for extracurricular activities like running for a separate elected office or helping to plot a coup. As a side benefit, you can bring your gun to the office.

Limited management experience required: You will oversee a paid staff ranging from roughly five to 11 employees who do most of the work, and can even pick up your laundry. As for actually writing any legislation, you can leave most of that to outside lobbyists.

Perks galore: All meals, travel, and lodging are covered tax-free. That can include travel to Europe, sports tickets, limo rides, country club memberships, and DNA test kits. If fact, you can get reimbursed for thousands of dollars in expenses without showing any receipts.

Pig out: One lawmaker billed taxpayers $1.8 million for expenses over more than 20 years. To his credit, he claimed to have never missed a day of work. For the intellectual types, you can purchase hundreds of books and claim they are necessary to do your job. The sky is really the limit.

No questions answered: Pennsylvania received an F grade from a nonpartisan group that studied transparency and accountability in all 50 states.

Lots of talk but little action: When all is said and done, 90% of proposed bills never become law. Simple measures such as cracking down on puppy mills can’t even make it out of committee. Just passing a budget on time is considered a big deal.

Job security: Unlimited campaign contributions, including from lobbyists and state contractors, and lax campaign finance laws make it easy to raise money and keep getting reelected. Other job protections include drawing safe districts that virtually guarantee reelection (you can even draw an opponent out of your district to ensure victory).

Golden parachute: If you somehow lose an election or get convicted of a crime — which happens more often than one would think — you can always work as a lobbyist or join the gambling commission board, which pays $145,000 a year for even less work.

Join the team: It’s rewarding work if you can get it. If only more serious public servants would apply.