On ‘The Golden Bachelor,’ older adults rappelled down cliffs and made out. I love it.
The show, which wraps up its first season Thursday, portrays older women as multidimensional and still worthy of love and connection. I'll miss it when it's over.
Even though I am of a certain age, I don’t feel invisible.
The fact that I’m over six feet tall may have something to do with it. It’s kind of hard not to notice me when I enter a room. Also, I am an extrovert. I will walk over and introduce myself to practically anyone.
But I believe other women when they say society overlooks them once they inch past 50. Ageism is real. (Just ask Don Lemon, who said in February that Nikki Haley was past her “prime” at the ripe old age of 51. Lemon, by the way, made that statement when he was just about to turn 57.) It also has a sexist bent, as older men are rarely considered past their prime, and instead get described as being “distinguished” or a “silver fox.”
Women, not so much.
Many women grow up believing the myth that their primary value lies in their looks and their reproductive capabilities. So when their bodies begin to age and men turn their gaze to younger women, many experience what some call the “invisible woman syndrome.” In their younger years, they would turn heads, but past a certain age, they start to feel unnoticed.
That’s not the world The Golden Bachelor lives in.
Each of the 22 female contestants on this Bachelor franchise spin-off is at least 60. One — Sandra Mason — is 75, but appears at least two decades younger. The show’s star, Gerry Turner, is a fit and fashionably dressed 72. I’m loving how it showcases older adults defying traditional stereotypes about aging — playing sports, rappelling down a cliff, making out.
This is the first time I’ve ever seen a reality dating show that not only centers women well past midlife but portrays them as sexual beings. Society teaches women that life is pretty much over for them once they get past child-rearing age, and many fall for that bunk. The Golden Bachelor contradicts that by showing older women as multidimensional and still worthy of love and connection.
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When one contestant decided to leave the show early to help her postpartum daughter, she explained how her time inside the Bachelor Mansion was a healing experience. “Because as you get older you become more invisible,” Joan Vassos, 60, says on her ride home. “People don’t see you anymore. You’re not as significant as when you’re young.”
I got hooked during the first episode.
I got hooked during the first episode as the women made their various grand entrances out of their limos. Leslie emerged on a walker, only to strip off her granny nightie and gray wig to reveal her long hair and sexy dress.
When Turner was dancing in a room full of the female contestants, he looked over his shoulder at one and — wait for it — winked. It’s exactly how I imagine men my father’s age signaled interest in a woman long before the days of sliding into DMs or swiping right on a dating app became the norm.
This show is refreshing. The women seem supportive of each other, with less of the usual backstabbing than in younger casts. They’re fully developed humans, who’ve led interesting lives and long careers, and they don’t seem to get too caught up in petty drama. (One contestant joked that when she wants to avoid drama, she just turns down her hearing aids.)
Of course, The Golden Bachelor has many of the same problems as the rest of the franchise. It’s absurd that Turner would get such a short time to date 22 women before ostensibly selecting one to ultimately propose to on national TV.
Nonetheless, the show is on the way to its dramatic conclusion Thursday night — will Theresa or Leslie get the final rose? I’ve thoroughly enjoyed watching these grandmothers vie for love, instead of 22-year-olds more interested in gaining social media followers than in forming committed relationships.
The Golden Bachelor — at its core — is about hope.
I appreciate how The Golden Bachelor — at its core — is about hope. No matter how many wrinkles one gets, our desire for human connection remains strong. There’s no age limit on being in love. I have a friend who married the love of her life when she was 63. One of my husband’s uncles married for the second time at the age of 90.
The heart wants what it wants — no matter its age.