Chip Kelly kills Taco Tuesday

After drafting Lane Johnson, the Eagles wasted no time shoving a cheesesteak in his mouth. Matt Barkley is also showing inspired enthusiasm toward native foods.

But any un-Chip Kelly-approved snacking in the future will have to be done in secret. The Eagles' new head coach has outlawed both Taco Tuesday and Fast Food Friday, according to ESPN.

"Chip Kelly believes that elite athletes need optimal nutrition," reported Jeannine Edwards. "There are basically four main food stations in the cafeteria and there are signs over each food station explaining what they are and what they're good for."

Kelly's organic menu features zero fried chicken, pizza, burgers, and red meat in general.

No word yet on the Kelly regime's laws regarding "friendship" and "laughter."