Is he his brother's keeper?

DEAR HARRY: My wife and I are having a serious debate. I have a brother who is four years my junior. When we were growing up, our father had a good job, and he was able to pay for my four years of college. However, he lost his job right after my graduation and was unable to pay all of my brother's tuition. The result was that my brother had to get $45,000 of student loans. Now he's required to pay the debt, and he has asked for my help because I had no loans. I said I'd think about it. My wife said that I should pay half the loans. I'm still doubtful. She became forceful when I told her that I am not my brother's keeper. What is your view on this?

WHAT HARRY SAYS: No matter which way I go here, I'll get a lot of flak. Families are a unique institution. We all participate in looking after each other. The extent of that looking after is the problem you're facing. In a somewhat similar case, a friend paid for one of two children's tuition. The younger one got a scholarship, so he gave that child the tuition he would have paid. Was it fair? Should he have given each half? Not an easy call. In your case, it involves sharing a debt. In my friend's case, it was sharing a benefit. You may call me inconsistent when I say that I agree with my friend in his case, but your wife in your case. You may not be your brother's keeper, but you are your brother's brother.