Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. He has a child from a previous relationship - and we have a child together as well. His koo-koo baby mama makes my life a living hell. She threatens to kick my behind and she's always blowing up his phone.
He's always going over there, too. He says it's to see about his son, but I know she's been making excuses to get him over there. I've waited in the car and seen her come to the door to let him in while wearing booty shorts - even in the winter.
The last time, I started to jump out of the car and confront her, but I had my kid. Next time, I might do it anyway because I'm sick of her.
Everyone tells me I'm wrong.
Steve: Bad-decision-times-two makes your life more difficult, so I'd focus on avoiding future bad decisions. That means making it clear to your boyfriend that you're clearing out if he cheats.
Mia: Sister, you need to get your life right. Forget about kicking Baby Mama No. 1's butt. Kick your own backside for getting yourself into this stupid fix. Dude had one baby mama already, so you decided to be Baby Mama No. 2. Dumb move!
All you can do now is make better choices, as Steve said. Here are some to get you started:
1) Get on birth control.
2) Stop feuding with his ex. Now that you have a baby with dude, his "koo-koo baby mama" is going to be a part of your life. Your children are half-siblings. Plan on inviting the kid - and her - to birthday parties, graduations, etc.
3) You're intimidated by the fact she wears sexy clothes around. That's your problem - not hers.
4) Offer to babysit. Make friends with her if you can. Someone has to make the first move.
5) Don't speak poorly of your guy's ex in front of his child.
6) Go to couples counseling.
7) Work on a Plan B in case you have to move on.
8) Don't have any more babies.
Q: My boyfriend is 11 years older than me, but that's not the problem.
Sometimes when I'm around him, I feel like he's too much for me. He's very sexual and experienced and sometimes I have a hard time responding. I'm too shy to talk dirty to him. Whenever he tries, I start giggling and acting silly. The last time this happened, I caught him rolling his eyes at me. How do I loosen up?
Steve: Who says you have to? Here's what to do: Have a full, fun sex talk with him, sharing what you like and what you don't.
There will be areas you both like. Focus on those and make some compromise on other areas, and, if he loves you, he'll do the same.
Mia: Practice generic stock phrases such as, "I want you so bad" and "I love when you do that with your tongue." Repeat them until you're totally comfortable with how they sound and then say them the next time the mood strikes. If you find yourself giggling again, just laugh. He will too.
If he's too stuck up to snicker along with you, he may not be the man for you. Good luck.
Between them, Steve and Mia have logged more than a few decades in the single-and-dating world. They're also wise to the ways of married life. They don't always agree, but they have plenty of answers. Contact them at S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107 or steveandmia@phillynews.com.