The expectant bride

When Aminah Heard and Marcus Bowman learned they were expecting their third child, the Frankford couple decided their three-year engagement had dragged on long enough. They thought they'd keep it simple: a civil ceremony, some family and friends, maybe a new dress.

But the more Heard thought about it, the more she realized that she would only have one wedding, one chance to fulfill all those girlhood fantasies of having a bevy of bridesmaids, wearing the big white dress, and carrying the big bouquet.

"I wanted the fairy tale," Heard said.

So she was five months pregnant when she walked down the aisle - or, perhaps more accurately, "tottled," for her Dec. 30 wedding. She sipped apple cider instead of Champagne. She squeezed into a size 20 gown instead of her usual size 7/8, one that didn't have the tight, corsetlike bodice she'd always wanted.

Other than that, she was a bride like any other.

"Pregnant or not, it's still her day and it has to be treated that way," said Sarah Doheny of Sarah's Events and Bridals in Media. "If a pregnancy happens, it happens. Embrace it. Enjoy it."

The childhood rhyme tells us that "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage." But times have changed.

Although the bridal industry isn't keeping a tally, industry experts say they are seeing more brides with babies on board. They're unclear if that's because more women are pregnant when they walk down the aisle, or if they've just become more likely to admit it.

"There have been pregnant brides since the beginning of time. The difference is the stigma isn't as negative now," said Marilyn Oliveira, senior editor at WeddingChannel.com. "So brides aren't rushing in to shop for a wedding. They're having it when planned, maybe moving it up a few months at most, but they're not hiding the fact that they're pregnant."

Celebrities have made pre-wedding pregnancies somewhat in vogue. Jennifer Garner was pregnant when she wed Ben Affleck. Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise held daughter Suri in their wedding pictures. Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas sold their wedding photos to a magazine and put the money in a trust fund for their son, who was a few months old at his parents' nuptials.

"There's a relaxing of cultural norms, and a lot of it is driven by our celebrity culture," said Cindi Freeburn, a spokeswoman for David's Bridal, a Conshohocken-based national bridal chain. "We have a lot of brides who are shopping with children in tow - their own children."

Another possible reason? Brides are getting older and may be less willing to wait before starting a family. According to the Census Bureau, data from 2000 to 2003 showed that in the last decade, the median age for marriage has increased by one year - to 26.7 years for men and 25.1 years for women. Couples in the Northeast tend to marry later than those in other parts of the country.

"I don't think anyone is going to be thrilled if their 16-year-old is a pregnant bride, but older brides might try right away," Oliveira said. "If she ends up pregnant sooner, it's definitely a reason to celebrate. Maybe the timing isn't what the couple had wished or the traditional order of events, but people shouldn't focus on that.

"If a wedding isn't about creating a family, I don't know what is."

Pregnant brides face unique challenges, especially when shopping for dresses.

Jessica Iverson found that out three years ago when, six months pregnant, she began looking for a wedding gown.

"My friends and family were very supportive [of my pregnancy] so it didn't even occur to me that I was doing something that could be looked down upon or criticized," she said.

"But then it hit me when I went into a bridal salon and there weren't any options and they left me to fend for myself without any real help. It definitely struck me that, 'Geez, I'm not normal here.' "

Not wanting other women to find themselves in a similar bind, Iverson opened the online retail store Maternity Bride. She started with five different dress styles and now offers 20. Her dresses are for sale at a bridal shop in England, and Iverson has plans to open a physical store in Missouri soon.

"Brides come from all over the place to order from us," she said. "There are more options for pregnant brides now because the need has been recognized. A lot of women are planning their weddings a year in advance and six months goes along and they're pregnant."

Angela Nevin, who heads the alterations department for David's, said the biggest challenge is getting the dress to fit right.

"You have a person that is vastly different on top and through the waist, and they're getting bigger and bigger as the day draws near," Nevin said.

Nevin had one bride who wanted to keep her pregnancy under wraps - and layers of satin - but kept bringing along family members for dress fittings. They watched as her dress had to be continually altered to fit her growing belly. Nevin asked the bride what she would do if the family became suspicious.

"She said, 'I'll just eat a lot of ice cream so they think I'm just gaining weight,' " Nevin said. "Everybody went along with it."

What helps is buying the right size dress from the start. Nevin asks pregnant brides questions: Is this your first or your second child? (People tend to show more quickly with the second, she said.) How much have you gained so far? (It helps her gauge how fast the bride is growing.) Her shops have a fake baby belly that can be worn during fittings.

It's also good to find a style that best suits the growing bride. Empire waists and anything that flows over the stomach area work well. A side drape can pull the eyes away from the belly and be very flattering.

"We can't take a sheath dress and make it fit someone who's nine months pregnant," Nevin said. "It's not going to work."

As for color, white is still the winner, even for expectant brides. Oliveira said wearing white became popular only after Queen Victoria wore it on her wedding day in 1840 and doesn't indicate anything about the bride's character.

"It wasn't to do with virginity and innocence, but as time went on, people went on associating white with that," Oliveira said. "Today you can get married in white if you're getting married for the third time."

Heard, a 21-year-old college student, originally thought she'd wear a cream or ivory dress when she wed Bowman, 29, a counselor for children with behavioral problems. Then she went to David's in Northeast Philadelphia to try on gowns. The third one was it.

"I put this white dress on and I didn't care what anyone else felt," Heard said. "I'm a good mother and a good person. I don't base my life on what other people think or tradition. I base it on how I feel and the choices that I make. My having children doesn't mean I'm a bad person or unpure. That doesn't determine me."

The couple's children - Ashan, 4, and Christian, 3 - walked down the aisle with their grandmother. Bowman's 8-year-old son from a previous relationship served as ring bearer.

Heard had originally wanted a bustier top and a full skirt, but quickly realized that having the boning cut into her belly would not be comfortable. She settled for a gown with a looser fit on top, but couldn't let go of her dream of a skirt to do Cinderella proud. She had her final fitting a few weeks before the wedding so "I stretch out as far as I can."

"For me, the dress makes the wedding," she said. "It didn't hit me that I was getting married until I went to the store and they had big dresses and I put one on."