Steve and Mia: Divorcee can't find her online stud

Q: I'm divorced, in my mid-50s and so frustrated over the lack of suitable men to date. Many of my single women friends, older and younger than me, say the same thing. I've tried online dating, but it depresses me to meet so many men who are boring or weird. I look at the men's profiles, and I just think . . . yuck! Yet I know women who've met great men online, even married them. What am I doing wrong?

Mia: Girlfriend, puhleeze. Mister Right could be a mere mouse-click away. But you'll never know unless you step up your game. That means taking another hard look at your online profile.

Are you using a tired old snapshot on your profile? If so, snatch it down! Hire a professional photographer if you have to. Men are annoyingly visual creatures. We can't change that, so keep it in mind.

Have one of your friends take a look at your photos, as well as your dating profile, and offer honest suggestions on how to get more hits, as they say on the Internet.

Steve: My cousin met a man online and married him. And, so far, he's not an ax murderer. I think the more opportunities you create, the better your chances are. Make it a three-front war: Enhance your online effort, join a club or organization that interests you, and give 10-minute dating a tryout.

Q: It seems like people are competing rather that completing as far as relationships. It's all about what you're bringing to the table. You're supposed to make time for them, and then they never have time for you. There must be respect for each other. I always feel like I make more sacrifices on my end. It doesn't seem like it's 50-50. Is there hope for someone like me who's 40 and up? I'm living a full life but there's a void.

Steve: Experience has taught me that relationships should be 60-40, with each person giving 60. If your man is only giving 40, you need to have a talk with him. People who don't want to make sacrifices and compromises shouldn't be in a relationship. Raise this issue in a nonaccusatory way. If he won't talk about it or gets defensive, I suggest counseling.

Mia: Don't let him play you. Women should never buy that lame, "I'm-too-busy excuse." People make time for what they want to make time for. If the governor of South Carolina could find the time to slip away to Argentina to visit his mistress, then your guy can make time for you.

You're a fool if you settle for that mess. *

Have more relationship questions? Mia will conduct a live chat on Philly.com beginning at 11 a.m. today.