Sideshow: Why we love Patti LaBelle

See, Patti LaBelle is all Philly. She says what she's thinking. Here it is, almost Grammy night, and Patti, 69, wants the world to know. She says she's no diva. The word's overused, and besides, "all these little heifers who can't sing are called divas!" Like who? She names no names. We feel she'd have a long list.

We hereby join the meme of "Is Justin Bieber the same person as Miley Cyrus?"! It has to be true. Look at his mug shot after his DUI nab in Miami. Now look at Miley. Come on! Anyway, how could anyone ever find out? . . . Meantime, reports say Bieb's people want him to go into rehab. Anywhere but Miami!

So have you been following the fate of Grace of Monaco, that biopic of Philly's own Grace Kelly? Starring Australia's own Nicole Kidman, it was s'posed to come out in November, but big boss Harvey Weinstein wanted cuts and booted it to March 14. Director Olivier Dahan is hatin' on it: The Hollywood Reporter says he hasn't given Weinstein a finished film. Now the Weinstein Co., which you don't fight and win, has pulled it right off the schedule. Like, gone. Graceless.

Big Internet news: Hunter Moore has been arrested and indicted by the feds on 15 counts of hacking, ID theft, and other icky counts. On his site isanyoneup.com, he posted, sometimes with names and other personal details from hacked accounts, intimate photos of people posted by former lovers, etc.

Funniest thing ever. Snoop Dogg/Lion/Whatever was in Melbourne, Australia. A smoke alarm in his room went off, and firefighters raced to the scene! Guys, guys - this is Snoop, yo! Yeah, there was smoke. Duh. The smoke-eaters ended up posing for pics with Snoop, who Instagrammed it.