100 ways to beat the heat
It's the kind of forecast that elicits gasps. Groans. Triple digits and bright yellow suns march in a line across your television screen. The weather guy chuckles, then swears it's not his fault.
Whatever. It's hot and miserable. Time to think of some ways to keep cool. Here are 100 ideas, from useful to wacky. One for every degree on that blasted thermometer:
1. Run in the sprinkler.
2. Freeze your sheets. Just before bedtime, make your bed, jump in and ... ahhhhh.
3. See a movie.
4. Go ice skating.
5. Head to a swimming pool.
6. Wash the car.
7. Turn off the stove. Opt for salads or gazpacho.
8. Freeze a damp washcloth or bandanna and wear it around your neck.
9. Carry a parasol or light-colored umbrella so you'll have shade wherever you go.
10. Have a water balloon fight.
11. Take a walk through the mall.
12. Use your hot tub as a cool pool. Turn off the heat in the summer and take a cool dip.
13. Drink lots of water.
14. Spray water on your body. Stand in front of fan blowing at the highest setting. Repeat.
15. Think cool. Mind over matter does help.
16. Go barefoot.
17. Fill a kiddie pool -- or your bathtub -- with water. Throw in a bunch of ice cubes. Try to pick them up with your feet.
18. Move slowly.
19. Close blinds or curtains on windows that let in midday sun.
20. Sounds cruel, but keep your sweaty little kid(s) at arm's length.
21. Play Christmas music.
22. Bob for apples.
23. Splash in a public fountain (at your own risk, of course).
24. Eat spicy food. It makes you sweat and cools you down.
25. Stick your head in the freezer case at a local grocery or convenience store.
26. Take a drive -- a looonnng drive -- to somewhere you've always meant to go. The air conditioning will make it worth your while.
27. Make homemade ice cream.
28. Put a frozen cabbage leaf under your cap (unless you play professional baseball in South Korea, where this has been banned).
29. Drink coffee. Your body will respond by cooling itself.
30. Make Kool-Aid Popsicles.
31. Play catch with water balloons.
32. Dress in breathable, cotton fabrics.
33. Crank up the Beach Boys.
34. Chase down the ice cream man.
35. Dip your hat or socks in water before heading outdoors. The water will evaporate in no time but will leave you feeling cooler.
36. Embrace an indoor hobby, like scrapbooking or quilting.
37. "Test" the city's nudity laws -- at your own risk.
38. Find the coolest beauty salon in town. Make an appointment. Ask for the works. Be very picky.
39. Hang out in the basement.
40. Visit a hypnotist for a session, and request to be on a trek in Alaska.
41. Watch a guilty-pleasure TV show. In fact, watch several.
42. Sleep on the roof.
43. Make lemonade.
44. Carve a watermelon.
45. Watch a documentary about polar bears or penguins.
46. Soak in your tub -- cool water, please -- with a melon facial and cool aromatic suds or salts.
47. Browse a bookstore.
48. Freeze grapes and eat 'em.
49. Pull your hair up off your neck.
50. One word: Frappuccino.
51. Two words: Italian ice.
52. Three words: Shaken, not stirred.
53. Four words: Banana Cream Pie Blizzard.
54. Five words: Chocolate sundae from Baskin-Robbins.
55. Go to the library.
56. Buy a grass skirt at a party store.
57. Organize your flip-flop collection.
58. Paint your toenails.
59. Grab a handful of ice cubes and put them on a hot sidewalk. Take bets on which one will melt first.
60. Add fresh lemon or lime wedges to every cold drink.
61. Shop for new sandals. They're on sale now.
62. You know that big air vent at Wal-Mart? Stand under it.
63. Deep clean your fridge or freezer.
64. Find shade.
65. Fill a spritzer bottle with water and some colorful plastic ice cubes. Mist yourself whenever you need a little relief. (The colors will help brighten your mood, too.)
66. Try water skiing.
67. Rent a cool movie, like "Ice Age" or "Dr. Zhivago."
68. Throw ice down the back of your shirt (or someone else's).
69. Nap under a fan.
70. Change your AC filter.
71. Have a SuperSoaker gunfight.
72. Is your garden too plentiful? Have a game of tomato baseball.
73. Splash on some Jean Nate.
74. Look for water main breaks. Go play.
75. Wear a hat.
76. Get yourself one of those handheld battery-powered fans.
77. Pack up and head to Colorado.
78. Avoid housework. (If this kind of heat isn't an excuse, what is?)
79. Put Desitin on your nose and pretend you're a lifeguard.
80. Stand in a bucket on a really humid day. Collect your sweat. Use it to water plants.
81. Play splash tag. (Players run away from "It," who tries to tag them by throwing a wet sponge. Once tagged, that person becomes the new It.)
82. Shave your head.
83. Let the kids draw all over themselves -- and you -- with washable markers. Hose off for easy cleanup.
84. Check out travel brochures for a cruise to Iceland.
85. Phone an old friend. Talk about how you used to spend summer vacation.
86. Be glad you're not working on a road crew.
87. If you're working on a road crew, be glad you're not in the desert.
88. Fold a newspaper. Use as fan.
89. Hold a newspaper over your head. Use as shade.
90. Play water limbo. Turn a garden hose on full blast and have players limbo under the water stream.
91. Go online to Weather Underground --
» READ MORE: www.wunderground.com
. Search for "Amery Ice Shelf." Check out those temperatures. Vow to spend next summer in Antarctica.
92. Rent a convertible.
93. Hot enough to fry an egg? Try it on the sidewalk in front of your neighbor's house.
94. Rub on some aloe, even if you're not sunburned.
95. During your morning shower, slowly bring the temperature down to as cold as it gets. Stay in for 10 minutes. It will wake you up, cool you down and reduce sweating. If you've been outside all day, repeat the process when you get home.
96. Turn yourself in; cool your heels in jail.
97. Do your own research of places that claim to have the "coldest beer in town."
98. Put your underwear in the freezer.
99. Sing, with feeling, "In the Cool Cool Cool of the Evening."
100. Dream of cooler days.
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(c) 2006, The Wichita Eagle (Wichita, Kan.).
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