Let's talk about sex - women only, please

A dimly lit Center City lounge. Champagne. Chocolates. And a frank discussion about - pelvic health issues?

That last part may not sound terribly alluring, but women's health professionals say the days leading up to Valentine's Day aren't just a time for romance. They're also an opportunity to address sexual dysfunction and its underlying causes.

So, Wednesday night at 7, at least 60 women will gather at Table 31, the upscale Chris Scarduzio restaurant in the Comcast Center, for Philadelphia's first "Sex, Chocolate and Your Pelvic Floor," an evening of drinks, dessert, and conversation about health topics ranging from loss of libido and organ prolapse to incontinence and bowel disorders.

"The idea is that women can come out and talk about sexual and pelvic floor issues, which for some people it's very hard to talk about, because doctors don't ask and patients don't tell," said Kristene Whitmore, a urologist and medical director of the Pelvic and Sexual Health Institute in Philadelphia. "Once the women are talking about it, then they have many, many, many questions, and that's when they really open up."

Whitmore and her colleague Susan Kellogg Spadt, a nurse practitioner with a doctorate in human sexuality, will lead a two-hour, women-only discussion studded with fun facts (there are seven types of female orgasms) and helpful tips.

They'll cover sexual anatomy, common problems, and potential solutions, including exercises, sex techniques, and other suggestions that could ease sexual dysfunction, which, according to Whitmore, affects 42 percent of American women.

"We try to give them the hope that there are simple things they can do to make their sex lives better," she said.

The event is billed as the first of its kind here. However, its sponsor, the Chicago-based Women's Health Foundation, has been holding these sold-out workshops for five years in cities including Chicago, Atlanta, and Denver, at locations like chocolate shops, cardio-striptease studios, and the Playboy Enterprises headquarters.

The events are anchored to this time of year for a reason. "At Valentine's Day, women think about their loved ones, and if they are having trouble with their sexual functions, they may feel saddened and seek help," Kellogg Spadt said. Workshop participants receive free lubricant samples that can, Women's Health Foundation founder Missy Lavender suggested, make for thoughtful Valentine's gifts.

Lavender is hoping the workshops will do for what she calls "below the belt" issues what pink ribbons and October advocacy events did for breast-cancer awareness. "We want to create pelvic-floor evangelists," she said.

The challenge was getting women to talk about things they didn't want to talk about, or to include women in the conversation before they had these issues. "Or, if they are starting to experience these things but not ready to self-identify as a patient, then we can teach them some things in a way that's interesting and nonthreatening and fun, but can help them get better," Lavender said. "The universal truism is that sex sells at any age."

This lighthearted approach seems to be something of a trend in women's health circles: Main Line Health System this January ran a series of Foundation for Breast and Prostate Health-sponsored events titled "Mocktails, Mammograms and Manicures," designed to entice women to sign up for breast cancer screenings. And South Jersey-based Kennedy Health System is offering a series of Girls' Night Out events that combine topics such as chronic stress and fibromyalgia with $10 express facials.

"Just the concept of eating chocolate and drinking champagne puts you in a more relaxed context in terms of brain function," Whitmore noted.

She said all this is necessary because many women are still uncomfortable discussing such issues in a clinical setting.

"Fifteen years ago, people were afraid to say 'incontinence' or 'pee.' Now, it's all over Broadway, it's on television, so there definitely is much more public awareness," Whitmore said.

Direct-to-consumer advertising for Viagra brought the topic of male sexual dysfunction into the public conversation, Whitmore added; now the same can be done for women.

"We're trying to get the word out," she said, "that it's OK to talk about sex, it's a normal function in life, and there are many reasons why things aren't working right and that there's hope for these problems."