Tattle: Model Irina Shayk covers SI swimsuit issue

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED is going to Shayk, rattle and roll this swimsuit season, naming Russian-born model Irina Shayk this year's Swimsuit Issue cover girl.

Irina, girlfriend of soccer superstar Cristiano Ronaldo, has a wardrobe of hundreds of bathing suits thanks to her Sports Illustrated work. "When I'm going to vacation on my own - I get the swimsuits after the shoots - I have so many choices!"

Irina said if she were going to choose a favorite photo, the cover selection likely would be the one. She liked the push-up bra style of the suit, in a design of pink diamonds on the front of the top with yellow around the neck and sides.

Uh, she lost us at push-up bra.

Achy Breaky Brain

 Concerned that Michael Lohan was sucking up all the publicity for kooky fathers of young celebs, Billy Ray Cyrus has decided to speak with GQ magazine.

In the new issue, Billy Ray said he wishes "Hannah Montana" had never happened.

"I hate to say it, but yes, I do. Yeah. I'd take it back in a second," he said. "For my family to be here and just be everybody OK, safe and sound and happy and normal, would have been fantastic. Heck, yeah. I'd erase it all in a second if I could."

Cyrus and his wife, Tish, filed for divorce in October.

And Miley? Billy Ray is concerned.

He told GQ that he is scared for his daughter and compared her current path to those of other stars whose lives ended tragically, including Kurt Cobain, Anna Nicole Smith and Michael Jackson.

(Talent-wise, we'd say Miley is closest to Anna Nicole.)

Billy Ray said the Cyruses and their six children were all baptized before leaving Tennessee for L.A. to protect themselves against evil. He believes Satan is attacking his family.

"It's the way it is," he said. "There has always been a battle between good and evil. Always will be. You think, 'This is a chance to make family entertainment, bring families together . . . ' and look what it's turned into."

Bringing the full-on crazy, Billy Ray singles out one man in particular for his family's woes - and it isn't Billy Ray.

It's David Lynch.

It was Lynch ("Eraserhead," "Twin Peaks") who gave Billy Ray an acting break in "Mulholland Drive." That led to his getting a starring role in the hokey TV drama "Doc," which led to Miley wanting to be an actress, which led to the wanton destruction of the Cyrus family - and, of course, millions of dollars.

"Were it not for David Lynch," Billy Ray said, "Miley never would have been Hannah Montana."

Damn you, David Lynch. Damn you.

Tattbits

 * As he nears his 90th

birthday, artist LeRoy Neiman is ready to put his story into words in "Diary of a Passionate Observer."

Neiman is known for his Salvador Dali mustache and his colorful paintings of Muhammad Ali, Mickey Mantle and a print of famous golfers that hung on Tattle's wall as a child. Lyons Press will release the book next year.

* El DeBarge has entered

rehab and dropped out of a national tour with KEM and Ledisi scheduled to start Friday. El, 49, said in a statement that he hates to disappoint his fans, but voluntarily checked into the center "to deal with issues stemming from many years of substance abuse."

* Andy Garcia will reign

as Bacchus on the Sunday before Mardi Gras in New Orleans. The Bacchus krewe made the announcement yesterday at the National World War II Museum. Its March 6 parade will have a World War II theme this year. Mardi Gras is March 8.

* Now that he's opened

his first chicken eatery in Iowa, Flavor Flav would like to earn his high school diploma there and tape his efforts for a reality TV show.

Last week Flav (a/k/a William Drayton Jr.) pitched his idea for "Flavor Flav Goes Back to High School" to the local school superintendent and a school board member. He says he'll approach the full board in a couple of weeks. As if there aren't enough distractions in high school.

* Because tween girls must have

an endless pile of cash, a second version of Justin Bieber's "Never Say Never" will hit theaters March 4. So says Billboard.com.

It's one thing to get alternate versions of a movie on DVD, but in the theater? Three weeks after parents had to spend money to see it the first time?

"Never Say Never 2.0." is expected to be different enough for fans to want to see both.

Let the screeching begin. Again.

* Two Kansas City, Mo., women

are suing Broadway's "Billy Elliot: The Musical" after claiming they were injured during a show.

On Nov. 23, 2009.

The pair allege they were struck by a prop while sitting in the front row. They were hospitalized and are now each seeking $2 million in damages.

The suit filed Monday accuses producers of "negligence and carelessness" for "hazardous and dangerous" props and choreography, for failing to train employees of the show and for not warning patrons of the risks.

Maybe the surgeon general should stamp something on the tickets.

* Jack Black joined Zoo Atlanta

yesterday for a naming ceremony for a 3-month-old giant panda cub, the only one of the endangered species born in a U.S. zoo last year.

The zoo named the cub Po after Black's character in "Kung Fu Panda" and its upcoming sequel.

Zoo officials say that in return for the name, Dreamworks donated money to the zoo to help with its panda-conservation program. The zoo declined to say how much. The zoo already pays China a $500,000-per-year lease to display the pandas.

Po? They should have named the panda Ho, because he's being pimped by everybody.

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

E-mail gensleh@phillynews.com.