Hey, John Travolta, come out, come out wherever you are

JOHN TRAVOLTA is digging in his (high) heels when it comes to coming out.

No matter how many men come forward about his interest in massage, no matter if he's photographed smooching with his male pilot on the tarmac, Travolta is straight. Straighter than straight.

The irony of all this is that no one cares.

Travolta isn't a buff, virile action hero, and he hasn't been a romantic lead since the 1980s. Travolta rumors have been around so long, people already assume what they want to assume.

These days, the only people to whom Travolta's sexual orientation matters are the men who come forward seeking to embarrass him with their touchy claims while they seek some of that "Look Who's Talking" money.

The latest man to question Travolta's straightness is former Royal Caribbean cruise-room attendant Fabian Zanzi.

According to the usually reliable People magazine, Zanzi accuses Travolta in a federal lawsuit of stripping off a robe and pushing against him during a food delivery to his cabin in June 2009. He claims Travolta then offered him $12,000 to keep quiet.

Zanzi, who first made these allegations to the Spanish-language news outlet 24 Horas, alleges that Travolta said, "Take me, I will take care of you, please," according to the suit filed Thursday in L.A.

"This is another ludicrous lawsuit with inane claims," said Travolta's legal bulldog, Marty Singer. "It is obvious that Mr. Zanzi and his lawyers are looking for their 15 minutes of fame."

Singer says that Zanzi didn't mention any sexual contact in his handwritten report to Royal Caribbean. "That glaring omission speaks volumes," said Singer.

Zanzi claims that he reported the incident immediately to a supervisor but that he wasn't allowed "to write down any information regarding the nudity and/or sexual contact," according to the suit. The cruise line allegedly dealt with the claim by placing Zanzi in a "segregated room" for five days — until Travolta left the ship.

The Channing Tatum/Steven Soderbergh male stripper movie isn't out until Friday but USA Today reports there's already talk of a "Magic Mike" Broadway musical.

"We are doing Broadway," said screenwriter Reid Carolin, Tatum's producing partner, Monday night at the movie's premiere. "We are working on it as a Broadway show, which would be a different story, more of a romp, more of a fun night out at a club with a story. I'm almost more excited about that than the movie because I think it's the perfect thing for women to go see on Broadway, to be participants in the show."

Don't women already have places to go where they can see male strippers?

Speaking of Broadway, Miley's paw, Billy Ray Cyrus, will take over the role of lawyer Billy Flynn and "Razzle Dazzle" audiences at "Chicago" — the king of stunt-casting — for a seven-week engagement beginning Nov. 5.

A reopened police investigation in Connecticut has concluded that "The Practice" star Dylan McDermott's mother was killed in 1967 by her now-dead gangster boyfriend.

Waterbury police reopened the investigation last year into Diane McDermott's death after Dylan contacted them with questions, the Republican-American newspaper reported Sunday and Monday as part of a two-part series.

He was 5 years old when his mother was shot in February 1967. Her death was originally ruled an accident.

Police told the newspaper that the evidence they found would be enough to file murder charges against John Sponza, who lived with McDermott at the time. He had told authorities that McDermott accidentally shot herself after picking up a gun he had been cleaning.

Sponza, who police say had ties to organized crime, was shot to death in 1972, his body found in the trunk of a car in a Waltham, Mass., grocery-store parking lot.

Celebuzz.com reports that "Hangover" star Zach Galifianakis, 42, will marry longtime girlfriend Quinn Lundberg, 29, on Aug. 11.

The invitation had a sketch of Zach and Quinn — by Zach.

"He made sure he looked like a little troll," said a source, "while Quinn is a stunning, tall blonde princess."

Uggie,| the canine star of the Oscar-winning film "The Artist," on Monday became the first dog to put its paw prints in cement outside Grauman's Chinese Theatre.

And Rin Tin Tin and Lassie are ticked.

Uggie, the Laurence Olivier of Jack Russell terriers, arrived in a fire truck and was celebrated with a cake in the shape of a fire hydrant and with a golden bow-tie collar. The event also marked his retirement from show business.

Is Uggie bound for rehab?

The Los Angeles Times reported that Ann Curry may get as much as $10 million to leave the "Today" show.

For the record, Tattle was prepared to leave for a lot less.