His cross-dressing isn't a secret anymore

DEAR ABBY: I am a happily married, heterosexual cross-dressing male. My wife understands and is supportive.

During the past week I have been caught unexpectedly by three different neighbors, and we are now in a state of panic. We're not sure what to do. If you have any suggestions, we are all ears.

- Caught in a Panic  

DEAR CAUGHT: Because you would prefer to keep your cross-dressing private and this is October, you could tell your neighbors that your female attire is what you'll be wearing to a costume party. It's plausible.

However, when someone is "caught" engaging in a private activity once - that's an accident. When it happens three times in one week, I can't help but wonder whether on some level you would like to be more open about your lifestyle. The Society for the Second Self (Tri-Ess International), offers support for heterosexual cross-dressers as well as their spouses, partners and families. You can learn more about it at www.tri-ess.org.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend's husband has been texting me. When he did it the first time, he had been drinking and my friend was asleep. He stopped after I told him I was uncomfortable with it.

Now he has started up again, offering support because my mother passed away recently. I am honestly not sure whether he's trying to be a good friend or if he's looking for something more, and that scares me. Any ideas on how to handle this?

- Unsettled in Ohio

DEAR UNSETTLED: Yes. Your friend's husband may be a genuinely sympathetic person - or he could be trying to take advantage of you while you're emotionally vulnerable. Listen to your gut. Tell him you appreciate his thoughtfulness, but you already have a support system in place and are receiving all of the emotional support you need.