Joseph F. Ruffenach, longtime leader of his family's funeral home

JOSEPH F. Ruffenach lost two fingers on his right hand at age 19 while wrestling an alligator.

Or was it while picking his nose and sneezing, or . . .

The stories of those missing fingers, endlessly elaborated on in more and more fantastic accounts, were examples of the sometimes bizarre sense of humor of the man who helped families cope with loss in 60 years as a funeral director.

"He had the appropriate joke for whatever occasion arose that would lighten the situation," his family said, "and rarely did you hear the same joke more than once."

(He actually lost the fingers while cleaning a machine in a bakery where he was employed.)

Joseph Ruffenach, who ran the family funeral business in South Philadelphia for 50 years but had been a licensed funeral director for more than 60 years, died Tuesday. He was 80 and lived in South Philadelphia.

Joe was widowed at 37 when his wife, the former Monica Callinan, died. He was left with six children to raise, which he did with hard work, compassion and love.

He was born in Philadelphia to Victor and Mary Ruffenach and graduated in 1948 from the former Southeast Catholic High School, where he lettered in football. He graduated from the H.E. Dolan College of Embalming in 1951 and eventually took over the business founded by his father in 1928.

"Joe was a man who always helped anyone in need," his family said, "and would never show up at someone's home or event without a brown bag filled with fresh-baked doughnuts, pretzels, cookies or bread. He had a great memory for names and people and could often tell people more about their families than they even knew."

He was a member of the Millay Club and past president of the South Philadelphia Lions Club. He received the coveted International Lions Club Melvin Jones Fellowship Award.

Joe also was chairman of the annual football banquet for St. John Neumann, South Philadelphia and Bok Vocational high schools.

He was a dedicated fan of the Phillies and Eagles and rarely missed a game either on TV or at the ballpark. He enjoyed his summer home in Margate, N.J., where he would walk on the beach and eat at Smitty's clam bar.

He is survived by four sons, Joseph F. Jr., Michael J., Paul and Steven J.; two daughters, Joan M. Ruffenach and Monica C. White; a sister, Marie Dooley; 14 grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren.

Services: Funeral Mass 10 a.m. tomorrow at St. Edmond's Church, 21st Street and Snyder Avenue. Friends may call at 4 this afternoon at the church, and 8 a.m. tomorrow at the Joseph F. Ruffenach Funeral Home, 21st Street and Snyder Avenue.

Donations may be made to the Millay Club for the Joe Ruffenach Scholarship Fund, 1736 S. 10th St., Philadelphia 19148.