Sinead Farrelly shares thanks and remarkable vulnerability as Gotham FC honors her retirement

The Havertown native, who sparked a reckoning over abusive coaches before a remarkable return to playing, reflected on being able to "accept and love myself for everything that’s happened.”

Havertown native Sinead Farrelly speaks to the crowd at a ceremony honoring her retirement at Gotham FC's game against the Houston Dash on Sunday.Read moreDevin Cafaro / Gotham FC

by Jonathan Tannenwald

Published Sept. 8, 2024, 6:30 p.m. ET

HARRISON, N.J. — In the 18 months since Sinead Farrelly made her remarkable return to playing soccer, the world’s game has had many opportunities to thank the Havertown native for her all-time impact on the sport.

But those moments usually came in the context of something else: a game she played in with Gotham FC, the Republic of Ireland World Cup team she made in the summer, the NWSL championship she helped Gotham win in the fall.

On Sunday, Gotham gave Farrelly a moment that was truly her own, honoring her retirement from the field at a 2-1 win over the Houston Dash. Farrelly signed autographs for a long line of fans before the game and was honored in a ceremony after it, with many family and friends joining her on the field.

“I’m not the same person I was when I came here, and that’s so important to me,” Farrelly said, moved to tears before and during her speech. “I know that this career — we romanticize it and put it on a pedestal, but these women are fighting for so much every day just to enjoy doing what they love, and I’m so proud of that and so honored to have shared a field with them.”

Farrelly, 34, announced her retirement two months ago, making the move immediately because of long-term symptoms of concussions. No one minded that it took a while to make time for a proper event, between the medical aspect and the Olympics putting everyone’s mind on other things.

What really matters is Farrelly’s lasting legacy in women’s soccer thanks to her role in launching the sport’s wave of reckoning with abusive coaching.

A stark admission of her trauma

When Farelly leveled accusations at longtime coach Paul Riley, they didn’t just lead to Riley being banned from the sport. (He has denied the claims, but his lifetime ban remains in place.) Her work encouraged other players to come forward and expose other coaches in the NWSL and beyond, forcing action from the league and U.S. Soccer.

That in turn inspired the rest of the world to step up its work to root out abusers in the sport. Those efforts may never be fully complete, but Farrelly has inspired so many people that the lights aren’t going out any time soon.

Farrelly stepped away from soccer after missing the 2016 season following a car crash, and returned in 2023. Many outsiders have wondered how Farrelly has processed the trauma of her past with the incredible highs of these last 18 months. She spoke on that with remarkable candor.

“I think when I came back to play for Gotham, I wanted so badly to change my past, and so badly to kind of erase a lot of the trauma and hard things I went through with soccer,” Farrelly said. “What I realized when I came back was that I actually had to face it. And it took my first year here to realize that the anxiety and the panic and a lot of the flashbacks that I would get were still existing with me, every game I played here.”

With time, work, and a new life in the game that still had the capacity to do good for her, she was able to find joy again.

“Although it was hard, I realized that I needed to stop looking at myself and what my experience had been as broken, or something that needed to be fixed,” Farrelly said. “My favorite part of this journey has been that I changed the idea about myself and what my life had to look like, and I decided that I needed to accept and love myself for everything that’s happened.”

Here she was moved to tears again as the crowd cheered.

‘Closing myself off to joy’

“It’s honestly been so hard, but I wanted so badly to continue to close off to the world, not trust people,” Farrelly said. “And I realized that instead of doing that, I wanted to choose a new path and open up and soften and realize that I couldn’t protect myself. If I was going to protect myself from pain and suffering, I was also closing myself off to joy, and happiness and connection and vulnerability, and the things that I really want in my life.”

Now, Farrelly said, she is “so happy to stand here today loving myself, liking who I am, accepting what’s happened in my life, connecting with people that I’ve just never had a closeness with before because I wouldn’t allow it. And the growth I’ve done as a human is the thing I’m most proud of, of this entire journey.”

She concluded by thanking “everyone, and soccer, and Gotham, and my people, for just being a part of my experience, and helping me see the light and reflect back to me the kind of person that I want to live as every day.”

One of the many tributes by players came from Gotham captain and U.S. national team stalwart Tierna Davidson.

“Her journey has been so complex, and as she spoke about on the field, her bravery to face that and come through it and to bring it with her and make it a positive change in her life has been so cool to see,” Davidson said. “You wish you wouldn’t have to have these stories — obviously, it’s unfortunate what she had to go through. But to be able to have that kind of person on your team, in your locker room, is something so special to us.”

Gotham general manager Yael Averbuch West has had a front-row seat to Farrelly’s career. They played against each other in the NWSL’s early years and in the previous league, Women’s Professional Soccer. In 2011, Farrelly’s rookie year with the former Philadelphia Independence, she lost to West’s Western New York Flash in the last WPS title game.

“Through your career, you’ve shown unmatched strength and perseverance, overcoming adversity, inspiring countless players and fans, including myself,” said West, who signed Farrelly to Gotham last year. “Your courage and advocacy have sparked necessary conversations and brought positive change to [the] NWSL and women’s soccer worldwide. It’s been one of the greatest honors in my time as GM of Gotham FC that you chose us to experience the second phase of your career.”