‘[Bleep] them!’ Eagles make a mockery of ESPN’s predictor that ranked Cowboys No. 1 in NFL

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. — Even the computers don’t show the Eagles proper respect.

In its power rankings last week, ESPN listed the Cowboys as the team with the best chance in the NFL to reach and win the Super Bowl. Dallas had a 45.7% chance to win the NFC and a 27.6% chance to win it all. The pedigreed Chiefs and Bills ranked second and third, respectively.

The Eagles? They lagged at 30.3% and 13.2%.

That’s right.

The World Wide Leader in Dorks gave the Birds less than half the chance it gave the Cowboys to get a ring.

Then the Eagles completely manhandled, utterly outclassed, and shell-shocked the Giants from the opening kickoff in a 48-22 mollywhopping that cemented the Eagles in the playoffs at 12-1. This magnificent display of footballing surely should snap even the least intelligent of artificial intelligences to its artificial senses.

» READ MORE: Great teams like the Eagles can win ugly, overcoming penalties and stifling greats like the Titans’ Derrick Henry

The players often say they don’t pay attention to such evaluations. Oh, they pay attention. They pay close attention.

Brandon Graham had three sacks and forced a fumble, and he had this to say to ESPN’s analytics wing:

“[Bleep] them!”

It’s not as if, to quote a favorite Philadelphia T-shirt saying, Dallas sucks. The Cowboys had players coming off injury, and they had looked particularly powerful lately, but ... seriously? Then, on Sunday, the Cowboys barely beat the hapless, hopeless Texans. In Dallas.

» READ MORE: Super Bowl odds: Eagles remain third choice to win NFL title

Can’t wait to see the power rankings this week. After such a triumph as this, ESPN’s number crunchers will probably use a formula that makes the Cowboys the favorite to win the next 17 Super Bowls, even after not sniffing one for 26 years.

Really, what more can the Eagles do?

“We can just keep whippin’ [butt],” said cornerback Darius Slay.

The franchise’s wittiest wordsmith came through again.

He knows what’s up.

The Eagles dominated a desperate, winning Titans team in Philadelphia last week. They dominated a desperate, winning team on the road on Sunday. They have one loss after 13 games. They’ve beaten the Vikings, the only other team that had two or fewer losses entering this week’s games.

The Cowboys entered Sunday with three losses, same as the flawed Chiefs and Bills, and the Eagles have beaten the ‘Boys, too.

The Eagles keep improving. They are elite, or nearly so, in every area: Offense. Defense. Special teams. Coaching.

Security guard.

They are the best team because they are most complete. Perhaps, as a whole, they are greater than the sum of their parts, but not by much.

Third-year quarterback Jalen Hurts is playing more impeccably than impressively, and he’s been very impressive. Miles Sanders, in a contract year, is proving himself worth the millions he will earn. He hit a career high with 144 yards Sunday and scored his 10th and 11th touchdowns. He’d scored nine in his previous three seasons combined.

None of this will matter unless they storm through the playoffs, but why not recognize greatness in the moment?

Because content must be driven, said Haason Reddick.

“Man, I don’t understand how they come up with these things,” Reddick said. “How could a team that’s 11-1 and already beaten Dallas, and Minnesota — another powerhouse — not be on the top?”

This slight is particularly chafing to Reddick, who grew up in Camden, played at Temple, and, as is required of his heritage, hates America’s Team. His outrage is real, and he isn’t above formulating a conspiracy theory. Reddick suspects that the brains in Bristol might be disingenuous with their disregard for the Birds; that they’re contorting evaluations and distorting reality to fuel support for Jerry Jones & Co.

“It’s like they’re doing rocket science to come up with these answers,” Reddick said. “It’s like they’re pushing a narrative, you know? Because, at the end of the day, How? How? How does it make sense?”

How, indeed? Especially now.

The Eagles’ opponent Sunday posed a feasible threat, with a mobile quarterback in Daniel Jones, a dangerous runner in Saquon Barkley, and ...

OK. Sorry. I can’t pretend that the Giants were a feasible threat. Not against this Eagles squad. The Eagles always should’ve won by at least 20, and they did.

» READ MORE: Eagles-Giants analysis: Birds clinch a playoff berth with a dominant win

On a misty and miserable December day the Birds lay clear claim to the title of Best Team in Football. They barely broke a sweat in their romp at the Meadowlands, where a seven-win Giants team that started hot under new coach Brian Daboll now hasn’t won a game in a month.

They were a second-class club against the class of the league.

The Eagles offense is averaging 41 points in the last three games. Hurts has 22 touchdown passes and three interceptions, and he left MetLife — the opponent’s stadium — to chants of “M-V-P.”

Remarkably, neither Sanders nor Hurts is the biggest reason the offense is rolling. It’s the offensive line, as usual. And there’s an argument that the offense isn’t even the best phase of function right now.

The defense hasn’t been this good since Buddy, Reggie, and Clyde.

The Birds added a 24th takeaway Sunday, which is best in the NFL. They added seven sacks Sunday and stand at 49, which is best in the NFL.

It is relentless. It is consistent. The defense made at least one big play on almost every early Giants possession.

Reddick and Josh Sweat each sacked Jones on the first Giants possession; Sweat has 7½, tying his career high, while Reddick’s 10th gave him double-digit sacks in each of the past three years. T.J. Edwards body-slammed Richie James for a 2-yard loss on the second Giants possession. Milton Williams dropped Matt Breida for a 1-yard loss on the third. Graham dropped Barkley for a 4-yard loss on the fourth. Fletcher Cox sacked Jones on the sixth. Graham got him on the eighth.

Tons of big plays. Lots of weapons. Elegant quarterbacking. Superb preparation. A smothering defense. Home, road, it makes no difference.

Let’s spell it out.

Twenty-four turnovers. Forty-nine sacks. Forty-eight to twenty-two.

Stick that in your algorithm and smoke it.