Masters drama: Bryson’s bombs, Tiger’s absence, DJ’s dominance, politics — and yes, golf, too | Marcus Hayes

Would Bryson DeChambeau’s titanic length render Augusta National obsolete? Would the Tiger vacuum deflate the atmosphere? Would Georgia’s controversial state legislation overshadow the tradition unlike any other?

Please. It’s the Masters. It’s length-proof, Tiger-proof, and, especially, progressive-proof.

The coronavirus lockdown last spring robbed us of our second yearly sports holiday. The first was the Super Bowl, but we got that one in. The second was the NCAA Tournament, which was canceled. The third was the Masters in April, which was postponed for a neutered November edition.

This year, the Final Four returned, and it didn’t disappoint: UCLA and Houston summoned ghosts of their programs’ pasts, and undefeated Gonzaga lost the title game to resurrected Baylor.

We can only hope the Masters — the least competitive, most compelling major of the year — delivers as well. It’s on its way. Justin Rose, who won the 2013 U.S. Open at Merion, was 9 under over the final 11 holes to post a 7-under 65, which gave him a four-shot lead.

Bryson DeChambeau, nerd turned beefcake, gained 20 pounds of (mostly) muscle last year, which helped him vault to the front of the PGA Tour’s driving distance charts, the top of the FedEx Cup points race, brought him three of his eight wins, including the 2020 U.S. Open — but still left him still ranked No. 5. That’s exactly where he was in March 2019, before all of the protein shakes and hack squats. DeChambeau is fascinating, but inconsistent.

Augusta National devours inconsistent.

The course plays to a par-72, but the mad scientist expected to play it at around 67. He’ll try to hit it over the trees on Nos. 1, 9, 10, and 11; try to drive it onto the No. 3, par-4 green; try to fly the bunkers on No. 5; and try to annihilate the par-5s, especially No. 2, where a properly launched rocket might make it down the hill. He failed everywhere but No. 9 and finished Round 1 at 4 over.

He said he had a secret weapon, which turned out to be a new, 4.5-degree driver built to forgive his 200-mph mishits. He should have kept it a secret.

Regardless of his process or results, DeChambeau and his energy, his innovations, and his irritability have made golf better since he splashed onto the international consciousness at the 2016 Masters as the previous year’s U.S. Amateur champion. He’s exactly what pro golf needs as the Tiger era ends.

Tiger Woods will miss the Masters for the fourth time in eight years. He’s 45, and he’s recovering from a bizarre and catastrophic one-car accident Feb. 23 in California. Authorities said Wednesday that Woods was driving about 40 mph over the posted 45-mph speed limit. (Inexplicably, he has not been not cited for his driving, and no tests were administered to determine his sobriety.) The crash leaves in doubt whether Woods will even walk properly again, much less play golf.

» READ MORE: Tiger Woods was speeding before crashing his SUV, sheriff says

Yes, he won the tournament two years ago, but he seriously contended just once since 2014. His absences and irrelevancies are so commonplace they hardly resonate.

Brooks Koepka has won four of the last 14 majors. He’ll be lucky to make it to Friday night in Augusta.

Koepka cannot bend his right knee, on which he had surgery last month to repair a dislocated kneecap and ligaments. Sidehill shots with the ball below his feet are particularly challenging. Even reading putts is onerous.

Augusta National’s uneven fairways and diabolical greens might make this a two-day adventure for Koepka, who finished second in 2019 and seventh in 2020; he finished 2 over Thursday after four bogeys on the first five holes of the back nine. Too bad. He’s finally getting the hang of this place — but not like his (kind of) pal, DJ.

Defending champion Dustin Johnson, the No. 1-ranked golfer in the world, set or tied nine records during his November victory. Chief among them: his 20-under final score, the best by two strokes; the only golfer in the 84-year history of the tournament with two rounds of 65; and, most significant, 11 straight rounds under par, besting Woods’ run from 2000-02. Johnson hasn’t finished outside of the top 10 in his last five starts. He finished second in 2019, then won it last year.

Talk about horses for courses.

Little wonder he went off as the betting favorite, at around +900. It didn’t look like a bad bet until DJ double-bogeyed No. 18 to finish at 2-over.

Personable, emotional Jordan Spieth won the Valero Open in Texas last week, but he finished 21st at Augusta in 2019 and 46th in 2020. He has five top tens and four top fives this year, so maybe the Spieth who won the 2015 Masters and the 2017 British Open is back. Spieth triple-bogeyed No. 9 Thursday but rallied — and finished 1 under, on the fringe of contention. If Spieth is relevant come Sunday, that would be good for golf.

So would a win by world No. 3 Jon Rahm, the powerful, volatile, 26-year-old Spaniard who became a father over the weekend but who has never won a major. He’s finished fourth, ninth, and seventh in the last three Masters, and after 14 pars, two birdies and two bogeys, remains in the hunt. Justin Thomas, ranked No. 2 in the world, is always a good story; he’s been Tiger’s A-list valet lately. He followed a 3-over front nine with a 2-under back nine and sits 1 over.

The best story — Rickie Fowler winning his first major — won’t happen. He’s played in every Masters tournament since 2010, but the slumping 32-year-old didn’t qualify, and so will miss his first major since the 2010 British Open. As CBS analyst and Hall of Fame golfer Nick Faldo said, this week off gives Fowler a chance for more screen time.

Lee Elder was the first Black player to compete in the Masters, which finally invited Black players in 1975 — 14 years after the PGA Tour finally lowered its color barrier. Elder, 86, on Thursday was an honorary starter — in a state where, last week, voting became much more difficult for the poor and for people of color.

Cameron Champ, the only Black golfer in the 88-player field, spoke with candor Tuesday about the law’s obvious intent to suppress the Black vote in Georgia — where, not coincidentally, two Democrats won Senate races in the last cycle and swung the balance of power in Congress.

Augusta National chairman Fred Ridley said Wednesday that he and the club’s membership support equal access to voting, but that he and the club’s membership — which excluded Blacks until 1990 — weren’t going to do anything about it. Several players, such as Rory McIlroy and Phil Mickelson, parroted the pablum.

Surprise, surprise.