Traitors return: Ben Simmons, Carson Wentz return to Philadelphia 8 days apart to face 76ers, Eagles

Like a bad penny, they keep turning up.

Like a pebble in the back of your shoe, they’re beyond irritating. They’re painful. Ben and Carson. Carson and Ben.

Ugh.

Ben Simmons provided the most recent reminder of the disastrous 2021-22 edition of Philadelphia sports. The Sixers on Monday settled Simmons’ grievance that sought to recoup the $20 million he lost by not showing up for work.

The Sixers claimed he breached his contract, which he clearly did. You see, Simmons demanded a trade, and when the Sixers refused, he then claimed he was unable to play due to unspecified “mental health issues.”

These issues seemed to stem from his coach and his teammate saying he didn’t play well, which he didn’t. This would be like me refusing to show up for work due to “mental health issues” because my editors said I made grammaterical errors.

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They also seemed to stem from Sixers president Daryl Morey refusing to trade him, since these issues weren’t mentioned before Morey refused to trade him.

On one hand, Simmons’ claim was a ghastly insult to people with actual mental health issues. On the other hand, Simmons’ claim is inarguable: He’d have to be crazy to think he could get away with the mental health ploy, especially when, according to the Sixers, he didn’t allow team doctors to examine him.

Turns out, he was crazy — crazy clever. The sides cited a confidentiality agreement, but one NBA insider estimates that Simmons got at least $10 million, which should pay off that engagement ring he bought for Maya Jama when he was unemployed (a ring that, apparently, he might be getting back any day now).

As infuriating as the settlement was — money for nothing, indeed — it ripped open a scab to a very Philadelphian wound that will take years to heal.

These twins of treachery aren’t going away soon.

The NBA has a cruel sense of humor.

Wentz will return to Philadelphia for the first time since he forced his way out of town when the Washington Commanders visit for Monday Night Football on Nov. 14. We knew this three months ago, and so did Adam Silver.

The NBA dropped its schedule Wednesday.

The Nets visit Nov. 22, when Simmons will play his first game against the Sixers since he forced a trade. It will be at the Wells Fargo Center.

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Philly can howl with hate for eight days straight.

That is, Simmons will play if he feels like it. He didn’t feel like playing when the Nets visited on March 10; in fact, he didn’t feel like playing at all in Brooklyn last season, either. The Nets paid him more than $10 million to not play the last 27 games of the regular season, plus more than $23,000 for sitting out their first-round playoff exit.

Well, at least Simmons and Wentz are somebody else’s problem now, right? No.

They’re both talented players in the prime of their careers currently employed by division rivals.

Like a bad penny, they’ll keep turning up in Philly.

Wentz and Washington face Jacksonville and Detroit in Weeks 1 and 2, and so they have every chance of being 2-0 when the Eagles visit the Commanders in Week 3. Wentz generally has been a fast starter. It takes a few weeks before he starts hearing phantom footsteps, rushes through his reads, and begins to make mistakes.

He seems older, and he’s certainly caused a lot of Philadelphians some gray hairs, but he’s only 29. He has three years left on his contract at an average salary of $21 million, which isn’t exorbitant for an NFL starter. After three years of Case Keenum, Dwyane Haskins, Alex Smith, and Taylor Heinicke, the Commanders might consider three years of Ginger Jesus a godsend.

And you can clown Simmons all you like, but in four NBA seasons he has made the All-Defensive first team twice, he’s made the All-Star team three times, he’s been in the top 10 in assists three times, and his 32 triple-doubles are already tied for 13th all-time, six spots ahead of Michael Jordan and just one spot behind Bob Cousy.

No, that doesn’t mean he’s better than Michael Jordan, or even that he’s almost as good as Bob Cousy. It means he has value. He’s also just 26, versatile, valuable.

He’s also under contract for the next three seasons, just like Wentz.

So, Philly will see Wentz in the 215 at least three more times, not counting playoffs. Simmons will visit at least six times. And they’re going to be a pain for Philadelphia.

Like that pebble in the back of your shoe.