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Louis Wes / For The Inquirer

What if the Olympics were in Philly? Here are some local events we could add.

by Anton Klusener
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Greased pole climbing

Louis Wes / For The Inquirer

This requires some training. Perhaps you climbed trees as a kid — or street lights after the Eagles won the Super Bowl — but nobody gets to the top of this greased pole alone. It takes a team willing to form a human ladder or pyramid.

Vine Street Expressway diving

Louis Wes / For The Inquirer

Nothing like a swan dive into the waters off the Vine Street Expressway after a long rain. However, officials often force public warnings: Don’t swim in the flooded highway. And if you already did, get a tetanus shot. 10 out of 10 anyone?

Urban cowboy equestrian events

Louis Wes / For The Inquirer

To train for this event, just pick a horse to ride, preferably one that has experience trotting along I-95 between the Girard and Allegheny Avenue exits. Horns and cheers are welcome.

Rotisserie chicken-eating contest

Louis Wes / For The Inquirer

Think you have what it takes to eat 40 rotisserie chickens, one a day for 40 consecutive days? Start training — it's not as easy as it looks. Ask Alexander Tominsky, the "chicken man" who did in fact consume 40 chickens.

Boxing on the Art Museum steps

Louis Wes / For The Inquirer

Dubbed the Rocky Steps, you can participate in a long tradition of running and punching your way up the Philadelphia Museum of Art's 72 concrete steps. But wouldn't it be better if there were actual boxing matches there?