What if the Olympics were in Philly? Here are some local events we could add.

by Anton Klusener

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Greased pole climbing

This requires some training. Perhaps you climbed trees as a kid — or street lights after the Eagles won the Super Bowl — but nobody gets to the top of this greased pole alone. It takes a team willing to form a human ladder or pyramid.

Greased pole climbing

This requires some training. Perhaps you climbed trees as a kid — or street lights after the Eagles won the Super Bowl — but nobody gets to the top of this greased pole alone. It takes a team willing to form a human ladder or pyramid.

Vine Street Expressway diving

Nothing like a swan dive into the waters off the Vine Street Expressway after a long rain. However, officials often force public warnings: Don’t swim in the flooded highway. And if you already did, get a tetanus shot. 10 out of 10 anyone?

Vine Street Expressway diving

Nothing like a swan dive into the waters off the Vine Street Expressway after a long rain. However, officials often force public warnings: Don’t swim in the flooded highway. And if you already did, get a tetanus shot. 10 out of 10 anyone?

Urban cowboy equestrian events

To train for this event, just pick a horse to ride, preferably one that has experience trotting along I-95 between the Girard and Allegheny Avenue exits. Horns and cheers are welcome.

Urban cowboy equestrian events

To train for this event, just pick a horse to ride, preferably one that has experience trotting along I-95 between the Girard and Allegheny Avenue exits. Horns and cheers are welcome.

Rotisserie chicken-eating contest

Think you have what it takes to eat 40 rotisserie chickens, one a day for 40 consecutive days? Start training — it's not as easy as it looks. Ask Alexander Tominsky, the "chicken man" who did in fact consume 40 chickens.

Rotisserie chicken-eating contest

Think you have what it takes to eat 40 rotisserie chickens, one a day for 40 consecutive days? Start training — it's not as easy as it looks. Ask Alexander Tominsky, the "chicken man" who did in fact consume 40 chickens.

Boxing on the Art Museum steps

Dubbed the Rocky Steps, you can participate in a long tradition of running and punching your way up the Philadelphia Museum of Art's 72 concrete steps. But wouldn't it be better if there were actual boxing matches there?

Boxing on the Art Museum steps

Dubbed the Rocky Steps, you can participate in a long tradition of running and punching your way up the Philadelphia Museum of Art's 72 concrete steps. But wouldn't it be better if there were actual boxing matches there?