Philly Catholics skip the steak dinners when Valentine’s Day falls on Ash Wednesday

Restaurants across the Philadelphia region will be full Wednesday night with couples clinking champagne glasses and singles posted up at the bar.

But this Valentine’s Day, some of the 1.8 million Catholics who live in Philadelphia, its collar counties, and South Jersey won’t be out on the town.

For them, this Wednesday is Ash Wednesday, which marks the start of Lent, a solemn 40 days of sacrifice and reflection leading up to Easter. Ash Wednesday has fallen on Valentine’s Day before, most recently in 2018. While Ash Wednesday is not a holy day of obligation — one on which Catholics are expected to attend Mass — it is when the faithful receive ashes on their head in the shape of a cross. They also eat only one full meal and abstain from meat.

“As Catholics, we’re called to fast, which makes it very hard for people to do Valentine’s Day dinner with their date,” said Catalina “Mica” Udani, a 26-year-old University of Pennsylvania doctoral student and a volunteer at her parish, St. Agatha-St. James, in West Philadelphia. This year, “a lot of people can’t wine and dine.”

Instead of going out to dinner with her boyfriend, Daniel Scofield, she said the couple will go to Mass and then make blankets for people who are homeless with a couple dozen other members of the church’s young adult group. The pair met volunteering almost two years ago, Udani said, so it’ll be a fitting Valentine’s Day date for them.

“Giving of yourself, there is nothing more romantic,” said Udani, who is organizing the event and encouraging others to come with their dates. The event can also provide a distraction, she added, from the twinges of hunger that come with fasting.

While some consumers are deviating from their typical Valentine’s Day plans, there isn’t any indication that restaurants will see a financial hit this Wednesday due to the confluence of the holiday and Ash Wednesday.

Whenever Feb. 14 falls on a weekday, some couples, regardless of religion, prefer to go out the weekend before or after. That way, they avoid the crowds, the expensive prix fixe menus, and the rush to make a reservation after a long day of work. Some don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day at all, decrying it as a commercialized “Hallmark holiday,” while others always mark the occasion day-of with a nice meal — at a restaurant or cooked at home — and an exchange of chocolates, flowers, or other gifts with their partner and loved ones.

As of Tuesday, there were few tables for two available at Center City’s fine-dining restaurants between 5 and 9 p.m. Wednesday, with many spots completely booked, according to the reservation platforms OpenTable and Resy. That’s largely unchanged from past years, according to restaurant industry sources.

Barbuzzo, Little Nonna’s, Bud & Marilyn’s, and Darling Jack’s Tavern were among the restaurants that co-owner Valerie Safran anticipates being full Wednesday night.

Safran said she didn’t even realize that Valentine’s Day fell on Ash Wednesday, because demand was “very strong” this year. She noticed customers made Valentine’s Day reservations even earlier than usual, something she wouldn’t have expected given that it falls midweek.

Safran’s observation tracks with a nationwide trend of more advance Valentine’s planning this year, according to data from Resy, which found that 15% more Valentine’s Day reservations had been made as of Feb. 5 compared to the same date last year.

Mark McKinney, chef and owner of Primary Plant Based, a vegan restaurant near Fishtown, said he, too, is expecting a full house.

“There seems to be no change from what I’m seeing,” he said. “Valentine’s evening is booked full just like in years past.”

While not specifically advertising for Ash Wednesday, some restaurateurs said they have made a point to include fish options on their special menus.

“We build vegetarian options into our menu, so meat-free dining is included in our offerings,” said Townsend Wentz, chef and owner of Oltremare, A Mano, Oloroso, The Hayes, and Townsend EPX. “This year we did the same thing with fish in most of our restaurants. Being prepared to accommodate these needs on the menu gives our guests the confidence we are looking after them.”

Most years, Shannon Centore, 30, would spend Valentine’s Day night out to dinner with her husband. In past years, the Center City couple have celebrated at steakhouses such as Alpen Rose and Barclay Prime. Those options weren’t as appealing this year since they wouldn’t be eating meat.

“I figured the Italian restaurant and all the vegetarian options would be completely overloaded,” said Centore, who runs a Catholic-based marriage and family therapy practice called the Spiritual MFT. “We decided to stay home and do something cozy and intimate.”

They plan to attend Mass at the Basilica and then make penne vodka at home, followed by their annual screening of The Notebook. It’s one time of year that she can convince her husband to watch the romantic drama, she said with a laugh.

“I would say the majority of the people I am connected to are prioritizing Ash Wednesday over the holiday,” she said. “Most people have either celebrated this past weekend or are celebrating this coming weekend.”

Olivia Nichole Barnhardt, 22, realized a few weeks ago that Ash Wednesday fell on Valentine’s Day, and informed her boyfriend, Matthew Maffei, to make dinner reservations accordingly. They usually go out on the day itself, hopping from a more casual happy hour spot to dinner at a romantic restaurant like Bistro Romano, before going on to an activity, like ice skating, afterward. But this year they’ll be celebrating Saturday, with dinner out at a restaurant that will be a surprise to Barnhardt.

To her, it was important to “keep the day [Wednesday] a little bit more sacred,” which will also mean holding off on eating any heart-shaped peanut butter cups that Maffei may get her.

Barnhardt, a financial adviser, planned to attend an early Mass with her mother back home in Woolwich Township and will spend Wednesday evening bartending at her part-time job in Ardmore. Her boyfriend picked up a shift as a substitute bartender that night, too, so they’ll be working alongside each other on Valentine’s Day. All in all, it’ll look much different than a typical Valentine’s Day for the couple.

“I’d usually ball out and have a big steak dinner or pasta,” she said.

In Bensalem, Michele and Ted Baker usually celebrate with a steak, too, on Feb. 14. This year, that’s not in the cards for the practicing Catholics.

If the date didn’t coincide with Ash Wednesday, they may even have traded their usual steak dinner at home for a date night out this year, in honor of it also being their 20th wedding anniversary.

Instead, Michele Baker, 56, said she’ll cook a meatless meal, which they’ll likely eat late after an evening prayer service.

“Our Valentine’s Day will be a prayer service and eating something different and probably not eating a chocolate-covered strawberry,” said Baker, who works in banking. “It’s less of a Valentine’s Day. It’s more of an Ash Wednesday.”